An ally should never feel that they deserve a reward, a thanks, or any recognition for the assistance they believe they provide. Simply put: It is not about you. It is about the people who feel they can trust you enough to not treat them horribly. You do not automatically gain access to spaces created by and for oppressed people because you are an ally.
Ableism is “the oppression you’ve never heard of.” While most people can agree that racism, sexism, and homophobia/heterosexism are legitimate social concerns, many people don’t even know that ableism exists. Because discrimination (both subtle and overt) against disabled people is so widely accepted and integrated into our society, many well-meaning people are ableist without even realizing it.
I wish this kind of scapegoating of fat bodies were unusual, that we hadn’t just seen the same thing in the case of Eric Garner. Kayla is not the only person who has been killed while in a mental health crisis, the only Black person murdered by police, the only trans woman killed by people who are supposed to protect her.
It has taken me my whole life to understand the necessity of loving my body no matter what. I still have issues shopping for clothes as I gain more weight. I still have issues with my gender identity that extend far beyond my disdain for conventional masculinity. But I am understanding that my body is not something to be ashamed of.
Many have found radical self-love by embracing and believing in the love of their sexual and/or romantic partners, but us older virgins do not have the luxury of being able to draw from somebody else’s love. It would make embracing radical self-love easier, but we have to dig deep and find love for ourselves and our bodies.
Sometimes, even the most well-meaning of my friends will forget that my disabilities actually have an impact on my daily life. On occasion, even my disabled friends are guilty of this oversight. Many of the points I’m raising can apply to people whose disabilities don’t have an impact on their mobility and stamina the way mine do.
This is Imperial Feminism, also known more accurately as Gendered Orientalism. This is the kind of “feminism” that centers white narratives and strips away the agency of women of color. It places the West on a pedestal of gender empowerment, and thus ignores the systemic misogyny of Western nations.
There are a lot of benefits to breaking up with one’s diet, with food independence and the removal of self-inflicted hunger being pretty high on my personal list. But for me, the best thing is the freedom.
Patty me explicó que el término justicia de la discapacidad nació de una conversación que ella tuvo en 2004 con otra mujer de color con discapacidad de género, intentando encontrar un lenguaje para la estructura de un movimiento que se centrara en las disfunciones de género de color, que no fuera “discutir por el mero hecho de existir, pero que asumiera a la vez toda la existencia”.
Those who shout, “Don’t be a victim,” are cowards. Those words are meant to shut down, to demean, and to shame. They are the words of someone who cannot bear witness to another’s pain. They are the words of those who are fearful of their own vulnerability.
I don’t know the story of the man in the photo, what his desires and goals are, or why he is in that weight room. What I do know is that he has bodily autonomy and a perfect right to try and do with his body what he desires.
When I realized that I loved my body more than others loved it, I had to critically think about my internalized fatphobia. I had to start actively and intentionally rejecting the oppressive ways in which society talks about fat bodies. I had to challenge myself to always find love and happiness within myself.
I bet that, almost daily, I say something negative about the way I look, and I know my son hears it. It has become a daily part of my life.
Cis people don’t often have to deal with the daily discomfort of incorrect pronoun usage the way many trans people do. When cis people say their pronoun choice doesn’t matter in a pronoun round, it can make trans people in the circle feel like their pronouns needs are silly or won’t be taken seriously.
Disabled people are presented as cute and childlike objects of pity. We are eternally nonsexual. Disabled people are only represented so that nondisabled people will feel a tug at their heartstrings and say “There but for the grace of God go I!”