There are a lot of benefits to breaking up with one’s diet, with food independence and the removal of self-inflicted hunger being pretty high on my personal list. But for me, the best thing is the freedom.
Patty me explicó que el término justicia de la discapacidad nació de una conversación que ella tuvo en 2004 con otra mujer de color con discapacidad de género, intentando encontrar un lenguaje para la estructura de un movimiento que se centrara en las disfunciones de género de color, que no fuera “discutir por el mero hecho de existir, pero que asumiera a la vez toda la existencia”.
Those who shout, “Don’t be a victim,” are cowards. Those words are meant to shut down, to demean, and to shame. They are the words of someone who cannot bear witness to another’s pain. They are the words of those who are fearful of their own vulnerability.
I don’t know the story of the man in the photo, what his desires and goals are, or why he is in that weight room. What I do know is that he has bodily autonomy and a perfect right to try and do with his body what he desires.
When I realized that I loved my body more than others loved it, I had to critically think about my internalized fatphobia. I had to start actively and intentionally rejecting the oppressive ways in which society talks about fat bodies. I had to challenge myself to always find love and happiness within myself.
I bet that, almost daily, I say something negative about the way I look, and I know my son hears it. It has become a daily part of my life.
Cis people don’t often have to deal with the daily discomfort of incorrect pronoun usage the way many trans people do. When cis people say their pronoun choice doesn’t matter in a pronoun round, it can make trans people in the circle feel like their pronouns needs are silly or won’t be taken seriously.
Disabled people are presented as cute and childlike objects of pity. We are eternally nonsexual. Disabled people are only represented so that nondisabled people will feel a tug at their heartstrings and say “There but for the grace of God go I!”
Racialized people cannot escape the “for/because” clause of their bodies. A tall Asian person is “tall for an Asian person.” A short Asian person is “short because they’re an Asian person.” A white person, however, gets to be “tall” or “short.”
To admit privilege is to admit to the darkness of the world around us. Denial is so beautiful. The world is so simple and easy to handle, like an afternoon movie on Comedy Central where a plucky New York lawyer wins a case in the South for his cousin’s life.
In so many ways, remembering to engage in extreme self-care and consciously reducing harm has been like reclaiming occupied territory. That’s what recovery from complex PTSD looks like.
Will my mom ever find the will within her to nourish herself? Will she one day make one extra bagged lunch and this time give it to herself? Even if she doesn’t, I will continue every day to choose to eat, to choose to live.
These are the questions I’ve asked myself: Will I allow my hair to gray with age or fight its natural progression? Will I embrace my hair’s natural markers of age, or will I view them as something to conceal or abhor? I can’t say for sure how the first gray hair (and all that follow) will affect me.
Even when the ideas and terms I was using to describe myself were new and unfamiliar to them, my loved ones never doubted that what I was experiencing was real and important to me. They never challenged the validity of my gender. Instead, they let me know they trusted my perception of myself.
I used to think that the only way to change and be better was to punish yourself for your mistakes. Research shows that shame and negative self-criticism are entirely unhelpful and actually lead to dysfunction. As Dr. Brene Brown says, “You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.”