Especially in public spaces, I’m overly conscious of the way my legs move or don’t move, how my feet slip off the footplates of my wheelchair, how my legs refuse to bend neatly and stay in one place. Depending on the shoe and my level of spasticity that day, I may inadvertently emulate Cinderella and lose a shoe or two along the way.
What’s different about my body though, is my skin and fat texture, and the smoothness of my flesh. I have a condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome type 3, a disorder which causes the connective tissues in my body to be defective (such as collagen), causing a long list of issues, but from a looks point of view the result is that my skin structure is different, causing it to have reduced strength and stiffness.
Who Your Friends Are Matters: Why I’m Wary of Being Friends With You When None of Your Friends Are Marginalized
Caring is a skill set. And it is a skill set that is not necessarily transferrable across all bodies. Different bodies have different needs—need to be cared for in different ways.
3 Steps Toward Good Sex Beyond the Binary: Having Sex with a Nonbinary Person, Even When that Person is You
You don’t need to sacrifice your nonbinary identity to be sexual, because you do not need to perform gender during sex. There doesn’t have to be a male or female, dominant or submissive.
On the other hand, if men have difficulties in relationship—often because of unhealed early trauma, reinforced by learning to deny feelings—men are easily manipulated by the sexualized culture to seek closeness through sex. For some, it can become a compulsive acting out in the form of sexual harassment or abuse.
Like all mental illnesses, there is a stigma that surrounds anxiety that is unfair at best and downright harmful at worst. Maybe one reason why this stigma continues to exist is because most people do not understand the myriad ways in which anxiety manifests itself.
During my plantation tour, I learned some crucial lessons that I humbly submit, especially for the education of non-Black people, in remembrance of those enslaved. It is only by excavating these truths that American society can begin a truth and reconciliation process toward the ultimate dismantling of white supremacy.
There’s a level of manipulation behind the word flattering when applied to clothing that says: how you look is not okay but this garment will make you look better.
As individuals and as a society, we need to begin learning to listen to autistic people more attentively, and to empathize with autistic suffering.
I can tell you for a fact that your life will be better once you stop trying to hold onto tenuous, failing relationships, and instead focus on the relationships that are bringing value to your life now.
Our everyday language, and the words we use, are rooted in the worldview of cis-hetero-patriarchy. I hope someday we live a world where people don’t assume someone else’s gender, and people consistently ask everyone with whom they interact their required and preferred gender pronouns.
There are so many of these rules for how to best love yourself flying around the place, it’s impossible to keep track of them all, let alone follow any of them.
We must go further as a society have to be mindful that not everybody identifies as a girl, woman, or lady just as much not everybody identifies as a man or boy. I am not saying that everyone should stop using the phrase “hey guys” or “hey ladies”, but people should grow to be mindful that not everyone identifies as a man or a woman.
So many of the things we talk about in femme spaces revolve around trauma, violence, sexual assault and how we survive within a heteropatriarchal society. As fat femmes, our bodies are an affront to traditional beauty standards, white feminism and masculine-centered queer spaces.
Her response to my refusal felt like a not-so-creative way to tell me that she did not agree with a Black woman having agency over her body…