It’s not as if any of us as parents don’t make mistakes. I suspect my children will have grievances against me. I suspect and hope they whisper to their newborns “I will never parent you like my mother parented me.” Because that means they will find news to change and grow as a parent just as I did.
Many marginalized people can tell you that people frequently make demands of them that cross the line from participation in a mutual relationship to work – and unpaid work, at that. Because we’re assumed to be naturally emotionally intelligent and nurturing, people don’t always understand that this is work for us.
To admit privilege is to admit to the darkness of the world around us. Denial is so beautiful. The world is so simple and easy to handle, like an afternoon movie on Comedy Central where a plucky New York lawyer wins a case in the South for his cousin’s life.
Contrary to what the statisticians employed by insurance companies want us to believe, a person’s worth cannot be measured in dollars based on how old she is or what level of productivity she can produce at any given time.
Depression not only looks different in individual people it can also look different in the same person. Here’s my handy list of ten things not to say to your loved one (or even yourself) about managing depression.
It is the responsibility of the mythical “good cops” to rid their departments and precincts of the pariahs; it is not ours.
We need to acknowledge that dealing with this pathology takes a toll on our mental health, no matter how conscious we are. With that said, make sure you surround yourself with people who validate your experience.
The most important thing is to talk to them and keep talking. Kids will also pick up a lot from what they see and hear you do.
You don’t need to sacrifice your nonbinary identity to be sexual, because you do not need to perform gender during sex. There doesn’t have to be a male or female, dominant or submissive.
I knew why my son didn’t rush to be born; he was trying to stay inside my warm safe womb and part of me wanted him there as well, despite my aches and pains. I suffered this mourning sickness that many Black moms and mamas of all races understand is not just internal queasiness, but the “sick and tired of being sick and tired” illness that makes you nauseous from reading the news. I wanted to go off-grid and never come back.
We’re not disposable and by gatekeeping our stories you are, in fact, contributing to our deaths.
If you don’t believe whitesplaining is wrong, then you’re missing how the motivation behind whitesplaining is influenced by white supremacy. So let’s unpack the most common reasons why whitesplaining happens, to examine why it’s so misguided.
Our understandings of which feminine bodies are worthy of desire, are worthy of being deemed beautiful must change
As a disabled sexologist, looking back on my teenage years I, like many folks undoubtedly, wish I had the chance to go say a few things to myself. Perhaps had I had the chance to read this or hear this story, I could have many avoided years of self-hatred and emotional turmoil from feeling lack of desirability and the belief that would never change.
Surviving is enough, and you should not feel bad if that is all you can manage sometimes.
