A lo largo de los años he sido objeto de muchas observaciones bifóbicas. La bifobia no es solo una expresión específica de homofobia para las personas que son “parcialmente” gays. La bifobia viene de la comunidad queer y heterosexual, y en mi experiencia, es una expresión del pensamiento y/o binario que puede ser muy destructivo para nuestro mundo en muchas maneras. Las que … [Read more...]
Search Results for: Queer vs. Bi
Queer Versus Bi?: Why I’m Coming Back Around to “Bisexual”
This article originally appeared in Foglifter April 2016 and is reprinted by permission. There’s a box where my anxiety lives. This box is on OK Cupid. To check, or not to check: “I do not want to see or be seen by straight people.” A friend of mine quipped that it is the most satisfying box to check on the internet. Maybe for them. For me it is fraught with tension and … [Read more...]
7 Ridiculous Things NOT to Say to Bisexual Folks
Over the years, I have been subjected to many biphobic remarks. Biphobia comes from the queer community and straight community alike. In my experience, it's an expression of binary and either/or thinking, which is destructive in so many ways. The below examples of biphobia aren't even the worst; they're just the most revealing of what the hidden prejudices are against bi … [Read more...]
4 Terrible Bisexuality Tropes on TV — And 4 Portrayals That Defy Them
LGBTQIA+ representation in television has been going up in recent years. According to GLAAD’s 2016-2017 Annual Report on LGBTQ Representation, we are seeing a higher percentage of LGBTQIA+ main or regular characters on broadcast TV than ever before. The report also mentions that there are record numbers of LGBTQIA+ characters of colour, LGBTQIA+ characters with disabilities, … [Read more...]
Dating While Trans: From Victim to Partner
[Content warning: Sexually explicit language] I’ve written quite extensively about my experience of dating cis people while trans — specifically, while being a female-assigned-at-birth boy, with a vulva, who is sexually and romantically attracted to men. I’ve tried on and tolerated several labels for who I am: gay trans man, trans fag, and during my more desperate, crude … [Read more...]
Am I Queer Enough To Claim Queerness?
If I remember correctly, I was eight. I walked into the kitchen looking for a fork, and thought to myself, “hmm I am attracted to a girl in my class, so I guess that makes me bisexual. Hmmm,” grabbed my fork and went back to my room. I don’t remember learning the word, but I knew what it meant and how to use it. That is the earliest memory I have of me understanding what my … [Read more...]
How Misogyny Shows Up in the Queer Community
Originally published on Everyday Feminism and republished here with their permission. How can we in the LGBTQIA+ community help fight misogyny? The sad but necessary truth is that we have to start from within. This comic shows how objectification, oppressive beauty standards, and other forms of misogyny show up in LGBTQIA+ communities. Learn why and how we must unlearn … [Read more...]
5 Ways Ableism Looks in Queer Spaces
This article was originally published on Wear Your Voice and is republished with permission. “Ableism shapes attitudes… and systems that ultimately dehumanize… [and] criminalize people whose bodies don’t fit into socially constructed notions of what constitutes a ”normal” human being.”-Edward Ndopu and Darnell L. Moore As queer folks with … [Read more...]
7 Ways To Resist Eurocentric Beauty Standards and Move Towards Radical Self-Love
Representation matters. When beauty is a standard and the only standards of beauty are Eurocentric -- and aggressively mired in sexist, cissexist restrictions of the gender binary -- we all lose, especially those of us who do not, cannot, and will not conform. It breeds a culture of toxicity, other-hatred, and self-hatred that we must fight. We can fight it … [Read more...]
Confession: I Am Heteroflexible
This piece first appeared on the website, Em & Lo, and is reprinted here by permission. Our contributor is a college student who wishes to remain anonymous. She has this to say about labels… I’m definitely not straight, definitely not gay, nowhere near asexual, and not exactly bisexual. In its simplest form, the meaning of heteroflexible can be found on the … [Read more...]
Some of Us Cannot Wait & See: 5 Thoughts on Undoing Ableism & Isolation In Your Community Spaces
In the east coast, I’ve noticed the urgent need for a long-awaited shift in radical and queer spaces. People who are SDQTPOC (Sick & Disabled Queer Trans People of Color) and SDC (Sick, Disabled, & with Chronic pain) have been continuously fighting to disrupt able-bodied political space for quite some time. Simultaneously, SDQTPOC face various degrees of ableism that … [Read more...]
How My Mother Taught Me the Magic of Loving My Little Person Reflection
Dear Mom, On November 17, 2005 you passed away. You were the only little person in your family, one of nine children eight of which had the Cecil trademark of red hair, green eyes and freckles. You had me at 24, and I came out the same way. I must admit, I never thought about what a miracle that was until 35 years later, I had my own daughter, Kaya Rose. No red hair, no green … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Maintain Your Queer Identity in a Relationship People Read as Straight
This article originally appeared in EverydayFeminism.com and is reprinted by permission. In a way, there is a safety that comes with being out in public holding a boy’s hand. I’m seen as straight, feminine, the “right” sort of woman. Nobody harasses me, leering and telling me to kiss him so they can watch. Nobody calls me the d-word or threatens to “turn” me straight. As far as … [Read more...]
4 Ridiculous Questions People Asked Me When My 11 Year-Old Came Out as Gay
When my son was 11, he came out to me and my husband as gay. Or as he initially put it, “I think I am finally ready to realize something about myself.” (He’s smart and hilarious). My husband and I are both queer (more on that later), so he knew we wouldn't have a negative reaction. We did go out to dinner to celebrate his “realization," but it was largely a non-event. I'm … [Read more...]
8 Ways Non-Binary People Rock!
Those of us who have genders that leap ecstatically out of the gender binary are stellar beings that disrupt, re-define, and challenge traditional conceptions of gender identity and expression, and there are just about as many ways to express and live a non-binary gender identity as there are stars in the sky. Let's explore some of the ways that non-binary people push … [Read more...]
Superfat Erasure: 4 Ways Smaller Fat Bodies Crowd the Conversation
For most of my life, and especially since coming into a fat identity, I have usually been one of the fattest people if not the fattest person in any given room I enter. When I came into fat activism, I did it operating under the (false) assumption that my experience of fatness was the same—or at least similar, or perhaps comparable—as other fat people’s. The more my community … [Read more...]
When Helping Turns Into Hovering: 6 Times Being an ‘Ally’ Can Make Things Worse
As a person with many identities that are marginalized in our society, being Afro-Latina, femme, and many others, I search for support within my communities, and at times outside of my communities. In these communities I have had to build a rapport with what we call an ‘ally.’ An ally is defined as, “combine or unite a resource or commodity with (another) for mutual … [Read more...]
7 Reasons I Haven’t Used Assistive Devices and Why Those Reasons are Bullshit
My feet are aching, my back hurts, and I am so exhausted I can barely function. Each step feels like a marathon as I try to find somewhere to sit. “Why do I do this to myself?”, I think as I sit down. I am at the amusement park with my kids to celebrate my oldest’s 14th birthday. After briefly considering renting a scooter, I decided against it (for many of the … [Read more...]
10 Ways To Raise Radically Sex-Positive Kids
One of my key jobs as a parent is to raise kids who love themselves and their sexuality. My own childhood was filled with silences and horrible caveats about sex. My mother told me repeatedly that she would ‘snap my spine’ if I had sex outside of monogamous marriage. And that sex ‘was not all that it what was cracked up to be.’ The only other ‘education’ I … [Read more...]

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