I’ve been clinically depressed over thirty years. There are times when I am in what I’ve termed remission but the depression never ever leaves. It’s become my companion for better or worst. Over the years my depression takes on different faces to the point where sometimes I didn’t even recognize it until much later. What that means is that the methods I use to manage my … [Read more...]
Fat Girl on a Bar: How Trapeze Changed My Relationship With Exercise
For two years, I watched my girls do trapeze. I watched with longing because inside me that little girl who used to swing on tree branches and monkey bars wanted to fly again. I remembered being unafraid of anything including my body. But the woman who watched her daughters dance in the air was afraid: afraid of failure, afraid of her body, afraid of moving with others. So I … [Read more...]
To My LGBTQ Latino Son After Pulse: The Only Grief I feel Is For the World
To My Son, When you came out to me last year, it was kind of an awkward forced situation. We found some things on your social media device and we wanted to make sure you were safe. I told you then “You don’t have to tell us anything you’re not ready to but we just want to make sure you’re not trolling anyone.” You flushed furiously not so much, I think, at us asking about … [Read more...]
As A Mother of Children with Disabilities, I Am Tired… and Here’s Why
I am the mother of five children, three have disabilities. I am tired. I imagine many parents of children with disabilities may feel tired. However, it is important to know that I am not tired because my children have disabilities. Nor am I tired from running around to therapies or because of the care they need. In many ways, raising my children is no different than raising any … [Read more...]
8 Stereotypes About the South that Are Just Plain Wrong
In the spirit of full disclosure let me begin by revealing myself as a Yankee. I moved from Maine to North Caroline 15 years ago. We lived in Charlotte for most of those years but five years ago we moved to a Georgia college town that I never want to leave. I admit that I arrived with a whole slew of ideas about Southerners. But over the years, I’ve quickly learned that most of … [Read more...]
“Hold Onto Your Other Identities:” 5 Ways to Put Yourself First While Parenting
1.Pick one thing a month just for you. For me this began with my trapeze class. I realized after watching my kids do this amazing activity for two years that I wanted in on the adventure. But for months, I paraded a laundry list of excuses many which included my time involvement as a parent. Would I be able afford a class for myself? Could I reasonably carve out the time? … [Read more...]
Building Bridges: How My Disabled Child Teaches Us to Honor Both Our Difference & Sameness
When my daughter with Down syndrome was first born I feared there would be a gap between us because of Down syndrome. I read a book which pointed that those of us with children with disabilities different from the ones we might possess were separate from us. I imagined in those early days gaps and fissures that I might never bridge. She would see the world different from me, … [Read more...]
Olympic Pursuits of Teamwork & Accountability: 7 Ways We Can Go For the Gold of Radical Self Love Together
Here's to rooting for each other in all avenues of our work and building. 1. Be Vulnerable For a long time, I struggled with being defensive when confronted with my own isms. I remember making a racist comment, nothing overt, in a literature class, and the shocked look on my professor’s face stayed with me for days. We had coffee at her request and she confronted me, gently, … [Read more...]
Pro-Choice Parents of Kids with Down’s Syndrome
In March of 2013, North Dakota signed into law the illegality of abortion based solely on a prenatal diagnosis of Down's syndrome. As the warring factions of “pro-life” versus “pro-choice” exploded on the internet, I sat holding my four month baby who just happened to have Down syndrome. At the time, I felt conflicted as I think many parents did at the abstractions of these … [Read more...]
