I’ve always had a hard time with gender dysphoria. Identifying it has been half the struggle. For most of my life it was unnameable, and unqualifiably sad -- a deep ache in the pit of my belly that I had learned to ignore. When it reared its head I saw it as dysfunctional, and my self-image was tainted by that view. My dysphoria was difficult to identify because I am … [Read more...]
14 Truths I Learned for Surviving My Suicidality
Content note: This article discusses suicide and suicidal ideation in-depth. On August 5th of last year, I tried to kill myself. The police were called. I was restrained, patted down, taken to the hospital, and held on a 5150. I was there for two days before they left me go. The term “5150” is the California legal code for “involuntary psychiatric hold.” It is used by law … [Read more...]
The Crisis of State-Enabled Violence: 4 Ways Homelessness Is Body Terrorism
“The idea of freedom is inspiring. But what does it mean? If you are free in a political sense but have no food, what's that? The freedom to starve?” -- Angela Davis Where I live, in the Bay Area, we are in the thick of a homelessness crisis affecting thousands of people. In San Francisco in 2015, close to one in every hundred residents was homeless. It's similar in … [Read more...]
Why Black History Needs To Matter to Everyone Else, Every Month
Let me start by saying that I have Attention Deficit Disorder. It's hard for me retain anything at all without a lot of repetition. Unless I’m continually reminded of something, I inevitably forget it. It’s for this reason that I have come to value Black History Month on a personal level. Totally by accident, it provides for my disability. But, as is often the case, my … [Read more...]
You Are Already Enough: 7 Ways To Relieve the Stress of the New Year
“New Year, new you.” That’s the slogan. Starting fresh sounds appealing, no? For many of us, that’s been more true now than ever before. A lot of us are happy to say goodbye to 2016. We’re looking boldly ahead to 2017 and slamming the door shut on this disastrous 12-month saga. At the same time, many of us are anxious about what the future will bring. As we leave this … [Read more...]
I Don’t Owe You Beauty: On Rooting Out Internalized Oppression and Celebrating Our Radically Non-Conforming Selves
“It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful. I’m not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.” ~Warsan Shire As an aspiring poet, the words of Warsan Shire hold a special sway over me. It’s not only her eloquence that draws me to her writing, but also the depth of her wisdom. I’ve always felt that it’s not enough … [Read more...]
“Be Sweet With Yourself”: You Are Allowed To Be Both a Masterpiece and a Mess
Trigger Warning: attempted suicide, cutting, stitches, detailed graphic writing on scars. “Be sweet with yourself.” That’s what my friend Joy told me when we parted one month ago. She was leaving for a new life in Tennessee. I was just out of the hospital. It was a pretty remarkable thing to say. Sweet with myself is exactly what I’m not. I’m harsh and critical … [Read more...]
On Loving My “Feminine” Body as a Transmasculine Androgyne
By: Mihran Nersesyan I always felt awkward in my body growing up. Most of us do, but for me - a transmasculine androgyne - it was, I think, more than average. I constantly felt like my body couldn't decide if it wanted to be "male" or "female", as I understood them to be then. My posture, my gait, the way my fat collected on me, my body hair, even my voice. They were all here … [Read more...]
“Stupid” Is an Ableist Slur: Breaking Down Our Defenses and Liberating Our Words From Ableist Language
During the course of 2016 I saw more ableist slurs tossed around than ever before. From casual conversation to mass media broadcasts, people are referring to one another in the most dehumanizing ways possible - and throwing disabled people under the bus in the process. I feel exhausted because it seems like no one is above it. Some of the most consistent advocates I know … [Read more...]
What It Means To Be Multigender: The Questions Many Have But Are Afraid To Ask
There is an infinite diversity of genders in the world. Each person has a totally unique interpretation and relationship with any gender they inhabit. There are at least as many genders as there have been humans who have lived. I say “at least” because as it turns out, a person can embody more than one gender in their lifetime. They can even embody more than one gender at … [Read more...]
Flee in Fear or Choose Love?: A Queer Wedding the Day After Pulse
The day after the Pulse Nightclub Massacre, I got married. The timing was random coincidence. A mess of circumstances had surprised us just the week prior, and we realized that Monday, June 13th was the only day that our ideal wedding would be possible. So in five short days, we planned our wedding. No one knew we were about to get married. When we broke the news late on … [Read more...]
Living With Multiple Mental Illnesses: 7 Things To Know & How To Be a Better Ally
My step-dad said to me recently, “When it comes to mental illness, comorbidity is the name of the game.” He wasn’t wrong. Comorbidity refers to having more than one chronic illness at once. Of all the people who experience mental disorders in the U.S. (roughly one in five), 45% of them meet the criteria for two or more disorders. That’s almost one in ten people who may be … [Read more...]
Is Healthy Masculinity a Lost Cause?: A Non-binary Person’s Thoughts on New Masculinity
Toxic masculinity is the subject of much discussion in our radical self-love community. Fashioning a new masculinity that counters and dismantles its toxic counterpart is an essential element in our our fight against cis-hetero-patriarchy. We’re making great strides by having these discussions, and as masculine people, by seeking to embrace accountability. We’re posing many … [Read more...]
10 Ways to Love and Provide Safe Space for You & Your Partner in Intense Times
I don’t know about you, but at this point I really can’t be dating people who aren’t on the same page as me politically. We live in an extremely violent and oppressive society, and some degree of activism is necessary. If you don’t get that, you aren’t going to be able to support me in my growth. You might even end up harming me. If you do get it, however, then we can … [Read more...]
