A couple of years ago, I complimented a classmate on her outfit as we were waiting for the professor to arrive. “I love that lipstick color on you,” I said. “Thanks!” she replied. “It was just a red lipstick kind of day, you know?” “Well, I don’t really wear red lipstick, but it looks so gorgeous on you,” I said. “Why don’t you?” she asked. “I bet you’d look amazing with it … [Read more...]
The Strain of “Model Minority”: Addressing the Mental Health Needs of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders
Just last year, when a person very close to me admitted she was struggling with depression, my initial internal reaction was disbelief. This can’t be true, I thought. My next thought was mortification for feeling this way. Why was it that I, a socially conscious person who believes strongly in mental health advocacy, immediately felt incredulity? I had to be honest with … [Read more...]
Stop Hurting Women: We Belong to Ourselves Despite Violent Male Entitlement
[Content note: descriptions of violence, gendered violence, rape, physical assault, sexual assault, death] Mary “Unique” Spears, a mother of three, was shot on the streets for rejecting a man’s advances. April Sams was thrown over a six-story parking structure by a male co-worker whose unwanted advances she had refused. Maren Sanchez was stabbed in her high school hallway … [Read more...]
Talking to My Asian Immigrant Family About Anti-Asian Racism
It took twenty-three years and living a continent away before I was finally able to talk to my parents directly about anti-Asian racism in the United States. It wasn’t that we had never spoken about discrimination or microaggressions before. It was just that it was mostly about non-Asian people of color — and often, the Asian community was the perpetrator. My siblings and I … [Read more...]
9 Strategies for Everyday Radical Activism When You’re Feeling Helpless
When conscious, caring people learn about injustices in the world, one of the most commonly asked questions is, “What can I do?” I know the feeling well: the despair and helplessness that come with the yearning to fix an inequity, along with the awareness of a lack of means. The if-onlys chip away at my heart. If only I were a real activist. If only I had a platform. If only I … [Read more...]
5 Ways People With Thin Privilege Can Fight Body Terrorism
Hey, fellow folks with thin privilege (you should know who you are): We need to talk. I’ve been seeing a lot of people equating skinny shaming and fat shaming — and I want to declare, on the record, that this is wrong and harmful. There is a huge difference between skinny shaming and fat shaming, and it’s a difference of scale and systemic power dynamics. Body shaming against … [Read more...]
“You Sure Are Hot for an Asian Girl”: How Words Devalue People of Color
What do I look like? To linguistically dissect the parts of my body, to cut it apart with words, means to twist and twine it with conjunctions. This is my physical appearance: I am on the shorter side of the human height spectrum at five feet, two inches (well actually, five feet and two and three-quarters, excuse me). I am thin. I have a small nose, small ears, and small … [Read more...]
The Greatest Gift My Parents Ever Gave Me: Allow Yourself To Be Selfish
When my brother and I were growing up, we developed a lie that we sustained until adulthood. We pretended to not want things. When we went to Wal-Mart or Fred Meyer’s, we averted our eyes from the aisles of toys and books and electronics. When we were caught staring too long, too longingly, at anything, our father would immediately grab it and eagerly ask, “Do you want … [Read more...]
Asian Eyes: Westernized Beauty Standards and Asian Identity
When I set forth to write something on Westernized beauty standards and Asian identity, my ideas kept circling back to the one topic I was the most hesitant to write about. For myriads of reasons, that topic is a complex issue. It has defined my life in deep-rooted ways. It has a multifaceted history in the world, as well as in my own life. It has always been my greatest source … [Read more...]
In Solidarity: How Non-Black Women of Color Stand Upon the Shoulders of Black Women
I am a woman of color, and I am an intersectional feminist. These terms of identity were both coined by black women. “Intersectionality theory” is a concept named by scholar and professor Kimberlé Crenshaw, first discussed in her 1989 treatise “Demarginalizing the Intersection of Race and Sex: A Black Feminist Critique of Antidiscrimination Doctrine, Feminist Theory and … [Read more...]
Your Stereotypes of Me are Not My Problem
[Image description: The photograph shows the author, a young Asian woman, standing on a city sidewalk. It is nighttime, raining, and there are cars and taxis rushing past in the background. The author is wearing a sundress in orange, pink, black, and white print. In one hand, she is holding a tote bag; in the other, she is holding an umbrella, which is open behind her.] When … [Read more...]
Practicing Radical Self-Love: Why You Need Self Care The Most When It Seems Impossible
Last week, for the first time in my life, my skin erupted with red, swollen hives. Every inch of my skin felt like it was on fire. At first, I thought I was experiencing an extreme allergic reaction to something new, although I’ve never before been this allergic to anything. But then I learned I was experiencing an anxiety attack. Rattled by this experience, I wept from sheer … [Read more...]
“You’re Not Like….:” 5 Kind of “Compliments” That Perpetuate Oppression
For people with marginalized identities, microaggressions are a constant reminder that we are less than. Oppression doesn’t always come in blatant forms. Often, it’s insidious and indirect. Sometimes it’s even unintended—that’s what makes it all the more dangerous. When we feel slighted by false praise that the commenter sees as positive, we’re told that we’re oversensitive and … [Read more...]
