Our society doesn't talk enough about suicidality. Somehow it's still considered taboo to do so even though suicidal ideation impacts so many of us. For that reason and so many more, it's important to talk about what you can do to help someone who may be suicidal. My perspective comes from my lived experience with suicidality (though thankfully it's been a very long time … [Read more...]
4 Ridiculous Questions People Asked Me When My 11 Year-Old Came Out as Gay
When my son was 11, he came out to me and my husband as gay. Or as he initially put it, “I think I am finally ready to realize something about myself.” (He’s smart and hilarious). My husband and I are both queer (more on that later), so he knew we wouldn't have a negative reaction. We did go out to dinner to celebrate his “realization," but it was largely a non-event. I'm … [Read more...]
Why I Stopped Wearing a Bra and Why It’s So Freeing
Like many people who wear bras, I hate them. The best part of every day is when I get home and can take off my bra. I abandoned lacy and pretty bras awhile ago, then underwire had to go, and now for the last few years I've been wearing cheap sports bras. But no more. I realized the only reason I still wore bras at all is because of being sexually objectified by men. So I am … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Help Someone in a Mental Health Emergency Without Calling the Police
With the continued crisis of police violence against Black people, including the murder of people in mental and/or physical health crisis, it's more clear than ever that we need to be extremely thoughtful about calling the police. In fact, we should do everything we can to keep the police from being called. When someone is having a mental health emergency, the people around … [Read more...]
4 Ways To Fight the Whitewashing of Pride
It’s Pride season! For us queer folks it can be a fun time to be extra gay and loud about it and go to parades. However, we can’t forget that the first Pride was a riot and this holiday would not have happened without Marsha P. Johnson, a Black bisexual disabled trans sex worker. Even with the history being well known at this point, many communities’ Prides are incredibly … [Read more...]
4 Ways Sick and Disabled White Folks Can Show Up for Anti-Racism
I know that navigating intersections is hard, especially when you have privilege in one area and are oppressed in another. First, we need to remember it is not nearly as hard as living at the intersections of oppression. We also need to be excruciatingly honest with ourselves (and each other) about how these factors influence us at each time and place we occupy. As a white … [Read more...]
Women Don’t Need To Say “I’m Sorry” Less — Men Need To Say It More
Many purportedly feminist articles, memes, and other “self-help” that tells people what to do have been urging women to “Apologize Less!” or “Stop Saying Sorry”. The advice comes from the idea that women should not apologize for things that are not their fault and should be more like men and take up space without worrying about what other people think. Fuck that. Women Don’t … [Read more...]
3 Problems With Talking to White Kids About Trump
Since Donald Trump was elected president of the United States, there have been tons of articles about talking to your kids about a Donald Trump presidency. As parents this is a hard thing to talk about – I get it. I was originally going to write one of these articles myself, but anxiety and other things have kept me unable to write anything until today. But as I read through … [Read more...]
7 Tips for White Parents To Talk to Their Kids About Police Murders of Black People
As a white parent of white kids it would be very easy to ignore the police murders of black people and other people of color. However, as a halfway decent person who wants to raise kids who are not monsters I believe that as white people talking to our kids about white privilege and what is happening in this country to people of color is the literal least we can do. I know it … [Read more...]
4 Things I Hear When You Talk About Your Diet
I don't want to hear about your diet*, and I especially don't want to hear about what you are not eating. I say this as a fat person who is completely happy with my body and refuses to go on weight loss diets, for a number of reasons that I will touch on below. To be clear, I don't say "fat" as an insult about myself, but rather as a neutral descriptor word to talk about how my … [Read more...]
Finding New Ways To Talk About My “Bad” Skin
I have "bad" skin. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but I still have holes, pits, scars, blackheads, pimples. It’s hard for me to even write those words, and for reasons I can’t fully understand I feel shame – or maybe embarrassment is a better word. As a fat activist for over two decades you would think that I could talk about my skin with the ease I talk about my fat. … [Read more...]
To Those of Us Who Are Unable To March: You Are Important
First, I want you to know that I see you. I am feeling guilty that I should be “doing” something, “doing” more. Doing. Doing. Doing. While my body is having a hard time with just being and I am stuck in bed. Ultimately, my guilt is not helpful and this is not about me. But I know I am not alone in my inability to do something I want to do and in my desire to participate in some … [Read more...]
Beyond #MeToo: BURN IT DOWN
Me too. Many of us have typed these words this week, many of us couldn’t bring ourselves to – or not publicly, anyway. As part of a sexual assault awareness campaign started by Tarana Burke, survivors of sexual violence wrote these two simple words on social media feeds. It helped survivors know that they were not alone, and it also served as a tool to show men how prevalent … [Read more...]
You Don’t Have to Love Your Body, But You Can’t Hate Mine
As a fat activist, it has been really disheartening to see “body positivity” becoming the be all and end all of mainstream fat politics and activism. “Body positivity” is focused around individuals liking (and loving) their own bodies, whether those bodies are fat or not. For me, it has been worth the time and energy to try to make peace – and yes, “love” – my fat … [Read more...]
