“How are we doing today, Barbara? What can we do for you?” “Now don’t you worry, dear, someone will be with you right away.” “Are you sure you don’t need any help, hon? Here, let me get that for you...“ “You’re how old? No you’re not! I would never have guessed!” “You are so brave! I could never do what you’re doing at your age.” Ageism is so common, and so ingrained in our … [Read more...]
3 Ways Comparison Detracts From Our Radical Self-Love
At a literary event one year, a student in my program was singled out by one of our professors and, with high praise, invited up to the podium to read her work. The professor in question happens to be a very prominent and much-lauded writer himself and was, in fact, the person everyone had come to hear. My fellow student -- let’s call her Rose -- is also an accomplished writer … [Read more...]
What I Learned From Never Experiencing “Romantic” Love
When I was very young, I had the same dreams and expectations that many girls of my 1950s generation in my social class had: that I would start dating in high school, go to college and eventually meet “the love of my life,” fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t have what I always thought of as romantic love in my life, … [Read more...]
4 Irresponsible Ways Society Treats Aging and What To Do About It
It’s a lot easier to get old today than it has ever been before. A lot more of us are successful at it than ever before. I use the word "successful" quite purposely: as a member of the baby boomer generation, I am very aware of how the idea of aging has changed in society, and how we seniors are treated. (Sorry, but I have to interrupt myself right here to admit I hate that … [Read more...]
We’re All Problematic — Here’s How to Work Through the Issues We Perpetuate
In all twelve-step programs, one of the steps is to take a personal inventory, which means taking an honest look at ourselves and confronting ideas and behaviors that cause us problems. These include all the ways we prevent ourselves from being the people we want to be, and seeing ourselves as our best selves. These are also the behaviors that can bring us into conflict with … [Read more...]
4 Lessons Aging Has Taught Me About Starting Over and Better Navigating Our World
The Body Is Not an Apology’s goal is to share the myriad ways human bodies unshackle the box of “beauty” and fling it wide open for all of us to access. Our goal is to redefine the unapologetic, radically amazing magnificence of EVERY BODY on this planet. When we do, we change the world! Join the movement and become a subscriber … [Read more...]
4 Lessons My Aging Body Has Taught Me About Radical Self-Love
One of my 92-year-old mother’s favorite sayings is something along the lines of, “Aging is no walk in the park.” In fact, it’s probably the watchword of all the residents in her independent living complex, where if you’re under 80 years old, you’re considered a real youngster. Compared to these folks, I’m still practically a teenager. Unfortunately, my own aging body hasn’t … [Read more...]
“Recognize the Shame You Feel Was Imposed On You:”4 Ways I’m Learning to Heal From Toxic Shame
Few of us can escape the constant messages we get trying to shame us because of our looks, our sexuality, our ideas, politics, behavior – whatever. There’s always something those who want to shame us can find. These messages, which start at a very early age, come from home, often from religious doctrine and teachers, from school, and from society at large. “Don’t touch yourself … [Read more...]
