When I was in middle school, I would ask my mom if I could watch certain TV shows other kids were watching: FRIENDS, Scrubs, and so on. She said sure (she’s pretty chill about stuff like that), but she told me there were a lot of jokes I wouldn’t get. She was right. I didn’t understand why the laugh track played when Ross forcibly wouldn’t let his toddler son play with a … [Read more...]
3 Steps Toward Good Sex Beyond the Binary: Having Sex With a Non-Binary Person, Even When That Person Is You
Gender is a spectrum, which means that between and outside of the constructs of male and female, there exists an entire range of gender identities. We often speak of “transgender” and “cisgender” identities: “cisgender” indicating that one’s gender matches the gender they were assigned at birth, and “transgender” indicating that one’s gender does not. However, we still often … [Read more...]
Fantasy or Disrespect?: 7 Halloween Costume Pitfalls to Avoid
Halloween is eagerly anticipated by many. It's an opportunity to eat candy, dress up, and revel in nerdy pastimes or scary movies. Yet all too often, enjoying Halloween is a privilege experienced by people who don't have their identity infringed on by well-meaning, ignorant, or outright hateful celebrants. This is not only a problem with individuals, but with industry; with … [Read more...]
6 señales de advertencia de que tu amistad es abusiva
Las dinámicas toxicas no están reservadas solo para relaciones afectivas o sexuales. Cualquier relación que tengas con otra persona puede ser saludable: una fuente de positividad y empoderamiento mutuo. Cualquier relación con otra persona también puede por lo tanto ser no saludable: abuso emocional. Puede ser difícil reconocer el abuso emocional cuando viene de amigos en lugar … [Read more...]
7 Cosas ridículas que no deberías decirle a personas de raza mixta
¿Qué significa ser de raza mixta? Soy de raza mixta. Hay muchas formas de ser de raza mixta, el diccionario lo define como una persona cuyos padres o ancestros son de distintas etnias, pero la definición puede variar según el contexto. En la mayoría de los casos, las personas de raza mixta tienen el derecho a definir su propia identidad y su relación con sus variados … [Read more...]
7 Pieces of Advice for Dating While You Are Non-Binary
Let's be real: the vast majority of dating advice is aggressively cisheteronormative. From popular magazines and dating advice books to talk shows and Bachelor Nation, we have a plethora of suggestions on how cishet, white, able-bodied, upper-middle-class folks can date each other within cishet, patriarchal structures. Fighting over the bill only to "let" the man pay, dressing … [Read more...]
7 Ridiculous Things Not To Say to Mixed-Race People
What Does it Mean to be Mixed Race? I am mixed race. There are many ways to be mixed race -- the dictionary defines it as people whose parents or ancestors are from different ethnic backgrounds, but the definition can vary based on context. For the most part, mixed people have the right to define their own identity and their relationships with their varied ancestry, but … [Read more...]
10 Señales de lo que el Amor No Es: “Aléjate de la gente que te hace sentir que eres difícil de querer”
Fui educada, enseñada y socializada para creer que el amor es dolor. Que el amor es injusto. Educada como mujer, me enseñaron, me socializaron —me lavaron el cerebro— para creer que el amor significa sacrificio. Que como mujer debo martirizarme. Que como mujer mi valor viene de sacrificarme al mejor postor, incluso si él se empeña en poseerme, incluso si nunca intenta ver más … [Read more...]
5 Ways Speculative Fiction Fails to Represent Our Future and Why It’s Time To Fight Back
We are not being represented, even in a genre that lends itself to the anarchic. In the sharp, fast-paced new world of special effects, we seem capable of imagining and imaging the most fantastical ideas. Superheroes, dragons, clones, aliens, zombies, apocalypse -- all of these are possible in our media. We as a species, and especially within the far-reaching … [Read more...]
7 Radical Filipina Women You Should Know
Trigger warnings: mention of violence against trans women The Philippines encompasses over 7,600 islands, over 180 ethnic groups, and over 19 dialects. Philippine-Americans make up the second largest demographic of Asian peoples in the United States, and our diaspora of overseas Pilipinx (a gender neutral term for those of Philippine descent) is up to around ten million -- … [Read more...]
7 Ways To Resist Eurocentric Beauty Standards and Move Towards Radical Self-Love
Representation matters. When beauty is a standard and the only standards of beauty are Eurocentric -- and aggressively mired in sexist, cissexist restrictions of the gender binary -- we all lose, especially those of us who do not, cannot, and will not conform. It breeds a culture of toxicity, other-hatred, and self-hatred that we must fight. We can fight it … [Read more...]
10 Ways To Know When Love Isn’t Love: “Stay Away From People Who Make You Feel Like You’re Hard to Love”
I was raised, taught, and socialized to believe that love is pain. That love is unfair. Raised a woman, I was taught, socialized -- brainwashed -- to believe that love means sacrifice. That as a woman I must martyr myself. That as a woman my value comes from martyring myself to the highest bidder, even if he endeavors to own me, even if he never tries to see past my … [Read more...]
My Biracial Identity: Figuring Out Where Is Home
My ancestry manifests in me as the aftermath of an ongoing battle. My body is the convergence of bloodlines that span continents. My heritage is layered, textured with palimpsest and patina. I am dual, simultaneous. I encompass the oppressor and oppressed, the privileged and the disenfranchised. I am mixed. Specifically, I am mixed Filipinx and white. This identity is a … [Read more...]
When Home Is No Longer Home: 6 Truths Toward Radical Self Love After Intimate Partner Violence
April was Sexual Assault Awareness Month. While instances of sexual assault can be random, a striking percentage is perpetrated by partners. Recovery from any form of assault can be a painstaking process, but we need to talk about the process of self love after you’ve become intimate and vulnerable with someone, and they return your love with violence. Intimate Partner … [Read more...]
