La imagen social de que los chicos buenos acaban últimos o los chicos buenos nunca se llevan a la chica ha existido durante décadas, sobre todo en las películas de los ochenta. En esas películas, el “chico bueno” es a menudo tímido y/o empollón y/o gordito (blanco) quien promete tratar a la chica de la que va detrás mejor que el “idiota” con el que actualmente sale —con poca o … [Read more...]
3 Pieces of Advice for Folks Considering Themselves Allies in Social Justice Movements
I have seen a lot of conversations about what the term “ally” means for social justice and radical movements. Is “ally” an identity? What role should allies play in larger discussions of oppression and resistance? Should allies have access to spaces created specifically for those who experience oppression? The goal of many of these discussions is to determine what an ally … [Read more...]
8 Lessons for Men To Heal Rough Relationships With Their Bodies
Content note: This article contains references to dieting and struggles with food. Men in our society -- contrary to what the ideology of toxic masculinity would have us believe -- are extremely susceptible to the weight loss, dieting, and exercise culture we're subjected to every day. That includes, but is definitely not limited to, the near incessant advertising for workout … [Read more...]
Surviving Is Enough: 8 Reminders to Not Be So Hard On Ourselves
I'm willing to bet that you're reading this in the middle of a million other tasks you feel you need to do in order to feel “normal.” Or maybe you're reading this in an attempt to get yourself out of a rut or improve your state of mind while feeling depressed. Either way, I'm here to help! A lot of times, we (meaning you, me, and everyone we know) feel like if we aren’t doing … [Read more...]
Rejecting the “Real Man” Myth: Why Men Should Embrace Their Femininity
Associating oneself with specific “masculine” or “feminine” traits is a big part of how most people define their gender identities. However, some of the biggest issues arise when it is deemed “inappropriate” for someone to exhibit traits of the “opposite” gender. Take, for example, men who exhibit a strong sense of emotional sensitivity. This trait is typically aligned with … [Read more...]
4 Formas de en las que los varones pueden asumir trabajo emocional en una relación (y por qué deberían)
Ya sean románticas, sexuales, platónicas o profesionales, las emociones siempre jugaran un rol fundamental en que tan exitosa o poco exitosa es cualquier relación. Las relaciones, por definición, requieren que dos o más partes aporten cierta cantidad de esfuerzo emocional para mantener la relación a flote. A menudo sucede que una sola persona afronta el choque emocional, … [Read more...]
5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Men and Dating That We Can’t Excuse
About a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud, a game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions. On the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the contestants to answer a rather loaded statement: “Name a reason a woman might decide to be with a … [Read more...]
4 Ways Men Can Take On More Emotional Labor in Relationships (And Why We Should)
Relationships, by definition, require two or more parties to put forth some amount of emotional effort in order to keep the relationship afloat. Oftentimes one person takes on the brunt of the emotions—especially the negative or stressful emotions—that are produced in their relationships. This collective emotional give-and-take is called emotional labor; it’s the work and … [Read more...]
8 Ways Men Can Get More Honest About Body Shame
No matter what gender or size you are, everyone has the potential to feel the effects of body shame. Although men, especially cis men, are typically less likely to admit that they feel ashamed of their bodies, that doesn’t mean such feelings don’t occur. It may not be displayed in very explicit ways, such as in the form of mental illness or eating disorders, but there is no … [Read more...]
7 Reasons Why Patriarchy Is Bad (And Feminism Is Good) for Men
No matter where you look in the multiple facets of our country’s culture and our current events, male dominance can be, well, quite dominant and overbearing. Patriarchy—which is the conceptualization of how men, especially cis men, and masculinity are seen as better than, are more respected than, and hold more privileges than women and nonbinary people or femininity—permeates … [Read more...]
Porque así es América: 5 cosas a tener en cuenta sobre Sexismo y Patriarcado 101
Estamos comenzando el año dándote las herramientas para discutir asuntos que afectan a la sociedad. La serie 101 TBINAA es un curso intensivo de género, sexualidad, raza y mucho más. Solo busca 101 y mira todo lo que hemos estado indagando desde entonces. Dentro de “The Body Is Not An Apology” hay una gran cantidad de trabajo alrededor de los tópicos de género, sexismo y … [Read more...]
10 Reasons Cis Men Must Unabashedly Support Trans and Gender Non-Conforming Folks
Trans and gender non-conforming folks have not been at the forefront of rights and access discussions in the United States as much as they are today. Much of these discussions and this attention has been good, with more and more people coming out as trans or gender non-conforming and more and more people supporting them and pushing for laws to protect them. Unfortunately, many … [Read more...]
To Hell With Fatphobia? Working Through the Contradictions of Weight Loss and Body Positivity
Weight loss is a topic that has loomed over me my entire life. As I have shared many times before, I was always a “chubby kid” or “fat kid” in my schools and my neighborhood group of friends. This led to nearly daily bullying from my so-called “friends,” and I often wished I could just cut the fatness out to make it all go away. These feelings worsened in middle school when a … [Read more...]
Why Music Might Be Your Best Friend While Managing Depression
I get sad a lot these days, and I’m sure you do too. Whether it’s due to mental illness, or stress from work, or seeing something that just rubs you the wrong way, we all go through the motions of sadness from time to time. Sometimes it’s easier for us to snap out of our sadness, maybe by watching a funny YouTube video or talking to a friend who knows how to cheer you up. Other … [Read more...]
