Though I have been disabled my entire life and have always written about disability, mine has been an experience with fairly little pain. Muscle spasms are common for me and vary in severity, but they have always seemed nothing more than uncomfortable and inconvenient. Sure, they hurt sometimes and occasionally with great intensity, but they're mostly short-lived. As most … [Read more...]
Communication, Humor, and Experimentation: 10 Tips for Disabled Sex
I was a pretty typical teenager when it came to sex. I wanted it and wanted to know more about it. When the classes I took in school failed to tell me how sex happens for folks with disabilities, I turned to the resource kids in the '90s turned to for everything: Google. The results were terrifying. Most sites told me that good sex probably wasn’t possible and others were … [Read more...]
5 Things I Wish People Knew About Being Disabled
Meeting a person with a disability for the first time can leave people with a lot of questions. Personally, I’ve made my life about stuff so I don’t mind. However, some questions are frustrating or repetitive. As someone who has been a lot of peoples “first times” here are five things I wish able-bodied people (bonus fact: Able-bodied is what you are if you are not disabled.) … [Read more...]
10 Tips for Radically Loving Your Body (Disabled or Otherwise)
Having written, spoken, and taught about loving my disabled body for most of my life, a common first question is always “How did you do it? How did you learn to love your body?” I’ll tell you a secret: I’m still working on it. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t even have most of them, and you shouldn’t trust anyone who says they do. However, here are ten things I’ve … [Read more...]
Keyboard Cowardice: How Internet Anonymity Is Fuel for Body Terrorism
The intention behind keeping our internet lives private was so we could protect ourselves. Online communication largely takes place with people we don’t personally know and so it makes sense to keep some information private. We don’t want strangers being able to find out intimate details of our personal lives. However, this common sense approach to internet discourse has led to … [Read more...]
Witnessing Beauty on Purpose: 5 Small Ways To Make Someone Feel Visible
Given the current political climate, it can be hard to believe that the small acts of our lives can make a difference. I too woke up the morning after the election swimming in a sense of helplessness. How could I keep writing now? Then I remembered something. At an event some months ago I was listening to a poet read but something distracted me out of my peripheral vision. A … [Read more...]
Me Versus She: Why I Won’t Compete With Other Women (And neither Should You!)
At the start of this year I made a pledge in support of furthering self love. I will not treat other women as competition. In a business like mines where it isn’t uncommon for amazing writers to never get the attention they deserve, scarcity is a problem. Right out of college I was expected to compete for publication with everyone from life-long friends to respected mentors and … [Read more...]
I am NOT an Afterthought: The Dangers of Everyday Ableism in Our Transportation Systems
I, like many members of the disabled community, do not drive. This makes it a common story to rely on other forms of transportation to get to everything from jobs, doctor appointments, social gatherings and basically the movements that make up any full life. I’ve always been rather uncomfortable with the idea of public transportation for entirely unrelated reasons. I have no … [Read more...]
Accesible Activism: 4 Steps to a More Inclusive Movement
In a political climate that feeds so much on fear, activism is both more necessary and more difficult. Organized protests and events are meant to remind us that we are not powerless in the face of those who do not act in the best interest of the whole. However, if we do not make these things accessible to all who wish to join the conversation, we fail in our goal. I think as … [Read more...]
7 Things I’m Tired of Hearing as a Disabled Person & What to Say Instead
1.What is wrong with you? /What happened to you? Yes, I know what you mean. Folks wanting to know about my disability has never bothered me. However, phrasing it like this implies that something must have gone wrong. The suggestion that able-bodies are normal and healthy while bodies like mine must be the result of an accident or a mistake. What to say instead: This can be … [Read more...]
Watching Charlottesville: We, Non-POC, Need to Listen to People of Color… And Believe Them
To make a revolution, people must not only struggle against existing institutions. They must make a philosophical/ spiritual leap & become more 'human' human beings. In order to change/ transform the world, they must change/ transform themselves.“ ~ Grace Lee Boggs. Never have we needed more the transformative power of radical self love of ourselves & the bodies of … [Read more...]
I’m a Lover & a Fighter: Why I’m Choosing to Value Tenderness While Trying to Fight Oppression
Coming from a spoken word community, my writing has always been in the bones of my activism. I don’t know for sure how I feel about something until it’s been translated by my keyboard. So, for years I wrote the poems I felt an activist was obligated to write. My professional life was one of anger and revolution even when my personal life was something else entirely. … [Read more...]
Mothering As an Act of Resistance: Because the Love of a Mother Is the Most Radical Thing I’ve Ever Known
As Mother’s Day arrives I can’t help but think of those for whom the occasion might be difficult. While all of us come from a woman and thus have had a mother many of those I’ve met have not been mothered or perhaps not mothered in the way they needed. We are too quick to forget that “mother” is a verb as well as a noun. It is a task we choose to take on or not. Like all other … [Read more...]
On Packaging Segregation as “Choice:” When Disabled Children Are Left in Betsy DeVos Hands
Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has sold herself to the public as the defender of school choice. This sounds like a great idea. Except that this won’t mean choice for all. When asked about the Individuals with Disabilities Education act, IDEA, which offers disabled students support to succeed in public education she suggested it should be left up to the states to follow … [Read more...]
