Every day, I have to make the decision about whether or not to come out as transgender. There's a good reason why so much of my friend group is composed of trans people. I don't have to explain myself to them, I don't have to worry whether they are seeing me as I truly am, and I don't have to worry about any unintended microaggressions they might say relating to my gender. … [Read more...]
Navigating the Constant Violence of Being Misgendered
(Source: queerty)[Image description: On a pink background, two white outlines of people are sitting close together at a round table. The one on the left is smiling and tilting their head away while the one on the right leans in towards their ear. In the top left corner, in black text, it reads, “You had me at your ask of my preferred gender pronoun.”] I’ve had several … [Read more...]
Pronouns and Misgendering
[Image description: A picture of the author wearing a black knit winter hat that has the word “they” across it in white capital letters with a row of pink hearts above and below the word. The hat has a white pom-pom at the top. West is a white non-binary person with very short brown hair just peeking out of the hat. They are wearing a blue plaid flannel buttoned all the way to … [Read more...]
Transitioning While Nonbinary
Many people have asked the question, how can you transition if you’re not male or female? What are you transitioning to? The answer is different for every non-binary person. I know some people who have started hormones or had different surgeries. I know some people who started dressing differently. I know some people for whom the only transition they needed was to … [Read more...]
4 Things Cis Folk Are Clueless About Trans Folk
I appreciate all the cis people in my life who have worked hard to learn about trans issues and become better allies to me and people like me. Despite their sincerity and hard work, there are a few habits that are so deeply engrained into our culture that I notice cis people have trouble remembering to step out of them. So I put together a list of a few things I notice my cis … [Read more...]
Everything My Loved Ones Got RIGHT When I Came Out
I didn't have the perfect experience coming out as transgender and non-binary. Many friends and acquaintances weren't able to change their perception of me and didn't understand the new terms I was using to describe myself. As I meet new people and make new friends, I still struggle daily with coming out. But I was lucky that there were a lot of things my loved ones did right … [Read more...]
The Urge to Hide: Is it Shame or Self-Preservation?
There are many things about me that are not obvious simply from looking. I am queer. I am asexual. I am polyamorous. I am non-binary. I am mentally ill/neurodivergent. What do all these things have in common? They are things that people tend to assume I am not, until I tell them otherwise. The fact that these parts of me are invisible gives me the ability to move through … [Read more...]
Dating While Living With Anxiety and Depression
Over the past three years, I’ve learned a lot about the ways in which my brain and body work. I’ve learned that the intense sadness and stress I dealt with in high school did, in fact, qualify as depression and anxiety, and that I could and should seek support for these things. I learned that the extreme physical and mental exhaustion I felt after completing a few days of … [Read more...]
In the Age of Rising Anti-Semitism: What Being Jewish Means
When I was growing up, being Jewish meant to me that we ate challah on Friday nights, put on a Purim play once a year (in which I always got to play Queen Esther), and lit Hanukkah candles while the Christmas tree gleamed in the other room. I loved learning about Jewish history, reading the stories, and celebrating the holidays with all their delicious food. Synagogue was a … [Read more...]
Transicionar como persona no binaria
[Descripción de imagen: dos fotos, una al lado de la otra, de le autore de cintura para abajo. Elle está de pie. Es una persona joven, delgada y blanca. En la foto de la izquierda está vistiendo camisa de cuadros con rayas azules, moradas y grises, un reloj verde, vaqueros negros, y zapatos con formas azules, moradas y grises. En la foto de la derecha lleva un vestido rosa con … [Read more...]
Yes, I Deserve Help: Disability and Asking for What We Need
I went back to college this past fall after taking two years off. I've always been good at school, often to the detriment of my mental health, but I'd assumed that I would be able to pick up where I’d left off and keep up with the workload demanded of me. It wasn’t true. Suddenly, the workload was too much for me. During my first three weeks back in school, I must have had a … [Read more...]
On This Edge: Creating Safe Space for Gender-Neutral Youth
I started going to Rowe Camp, a small summer camp nestled in the mountains of western Massachusetts, when I was twelve years old. I fell in love with the camp immediately and spent every subsequent summer of my teenage years in the verdant woods and graffitied cabins of Rowe. Everyone I've met who has gone to Rowe laments how hard it is to explain what is special about the camp … [Read more...]
Coming Out in Class
I've been identifying as non-binary for three years. Until recently, being misgendered in my college classes was something I simply lived with. Being a non-binary person in class can be a difficult experience. In the beginning, I was much too shy and anxious to announce my identity to anywhere from thirty to three hundred strangers. I had no idea of my classmates’ knowledge … [Read more...]
At the Intersection of Asexuality and Queerness
Earlier this month, I was asked to be part of a panel of young queer folk who were visiting a luncheon for LGBT seniors. It was the beginning of a conversation between generations in which youth and elders got to share their stories and to work to understand and honor the differences among their experiences. Before the panel started, everyone was asked to share a brief bio … [Read more...]
