“How are we doing today, Barbara? What can we do for you?” “Now don’t you worry, dear, someone will be with you right away.” “Are you sure you don’t need any help, hon? Here, let me get that for you...“ “You’re how old? No you’re not! I would never have guessed!” “You are so brave! I could never do what you’re doing at your age.” Ageism is so common, and so ingrained in our … [Read more...]
What I Learned From Never Experiencing “Romantic” Love
When I was very young, I had the same dreams and expectations that many girls of my 1950s generation in my social class had: that I would start dating in high school, go to college and eventually meet “the love of my life,” fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t have what I always thought of as romantic love in my life, … [Read more...]
Not Everyone’s “Born This Way”: How I Grew Into My Middle-Aged Trans Identity
Two years ago, I came out as queer, kinky, polyamorous, and transgender, all in the space of a few months. I’m not young; I'm approaching the age bracket known as “middle age.” In fact, I worried initially that my coming out explosion was some sort of midlife crisis brought on by reading too many queer comics and following too many trans Twitter accounts. Part of me shies away … [Read more...]
5 Things I Did After Turning 40 That Changed How I Saw My Aging Self
At thirty-eight I experienced a bit of a midlife crisis. Well, hardly midlife, but still a crisis nonetheless. Forty loomed on the horizon, and I felt a kind of aimless terror at that number. Some of it was kind of silly. What did a mature woman wear? Would I be forced by some secret fashion police to give up my band and anime t-shirts? Would I have to turn in my Chucks and … [Read more...]
4 Irresponsible Ways Society Treats Aging and What To Do About It
It’s a lot easier to get old today than it has ever been before. A lot more of us are successful at it than ever before. I use the word "successful" quite purposely: as a member of the baby boomer generation, I am very aware of how the idea of aging has changed in society, and how we seniors are treated. (Sorry, but I have to interrupt myself right here to admit I hate that … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why Growing Up Isn’t for Me
Although I’ve found many beautiful things about growing up, maturing, and becoming more settled in who I am and what I value, there are times that I still question my “progress” within the benchmarks that are set by mainstream society. To me, maturity is a shifting and growing in-depth understanding of ourselves, how we operate in relation to others, and how our … [Read more...]
How the Trump Administration Is Hurting Older Folks
Despite what you might read in Trump’s daily tweets, many Americans are experiencing hardship under this current administration. This administration is hellbent on rolling back, changing or eliminating programs and legislation that directly impacts people of color, women, LGBTQ individuals, people with disabilities and older Americans in negative and damaging ways. Every time … [Read more...]
4 Lessons Aging Has Taught Me About Starting Over and Better Navigating Our World
The Body Is Not an Apology’s goal is to share the myriad ways human bodies unshackle the box of “beauty” and fling it wide open for all of us to access. Our goal is to redefine the unapologetic, radically amazing magnificence of EVERY BODY on this planet. When we do, we change the world! Join the movement and become a subscriber … [Read more...]
Letting Down My (Gray) Hair
This article is the second in a three-part series on aging. For me, this picture is a major departure: it marks the first time that my gray hair frames my face in a photo. Much of my hair is still brown, but the right side is graying much more quickly than the rest. I usually wear my hair up or back, where the gray only shows like a streak on the top of my head. I … [Read more...]
Coming to Peace With Aging
We spend millions of dollars each year on cosmetics, creams and plastic surgery to distance ourselves from the notion of age. Billion-dollar industries tell us every day that their special formula will help us look younger or feel younger, and even the advertisements that seem to embrace the idea of aging, show us images of stereotypical beautiful and thin women and men, who … [Read more...]
4 Lessons My Aging Body Has Taught Me About Radical Self-Love
One of my 92-year-old mother’s favorite sayings is something along the lines of, “Aging is no walk in the park.” In fact, it’s probably the watchword of all the residents in her independent living complex, where if you’re under 80 years old, you’re considered a real youngster. Compared to these folks, I’m still practically a teenager. Unfortunately, my own aging body hasn’t … [Read more...]
7 Things You Can Be Proud of Doing by the Time You’re 35— Even If You Didn’t Save Twice Your Yearly Salary
It’s safe to say that the vast majority of us are definitely nowhere near able to save twice our yearly salary by age 35, despite the newest out-of-touch punchline from the financial sector. As an American in my early 30s who, like most of “our” generation if you’re also American, has a negative net worth thanks to graduating post-financial crash, trying to build a career … [Read more...]
“We Can’t Dismantle What We Don’t Acknowledge:” Ageism From Hollywood to Corporate America
We’re starting the year off equipping you with the tools to discuss issues that affect our society. TBINAA 101 Series is a crash course into gender, sexuality, race and so much more. Simply search 101 and see what we’ve been diving into so far. My first awareness of ageism came when I was younger through the lens of Hollywood during the 1980s. At the time my grandparents were … [Read more...]
Going Gray: Learning to Love My Changing Body
Each of my grandmothers has reached an age when the price they must pay for passage into a new year of life has grown almost insurmountable. They are bedridden, spending their days unable to fully enjoy the beautiful island on which they live, the sensation of the hot Caribbean sun, or the temperate ocean waters upon their skin. They do not go for leisurely walks or quickly run … [Read more...]
