I’m that girl, the one everybody goes to when there’s a crisis. I’m there, sorting it, finding out, lending a hand, raising money. That’s me. That was me. Then, one day, I was the crisis. And Then She Fell is the soft title of a memoir of recent events that I never plan to write. I keep making up titles for the not-book, though. It helps me try to make sense of senseless … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Strengthen Your Radical Compassion for Loved Ones With Dementia
As soon as someone is diagnosed with any form of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s Disease, Lewy Body Dementia, or Vascular Dementia, they lose friends and family. Even people who were once close to them may stop coming over to visit. People with dementia often end up becoming more and more isolated because their family and friends don't know how to communicate with them. Family … [Read more...]
Advice for Able-Bodied People: Not All of Us Can “Take a Walk” To Feel Better
Over the last few years, I don’t think I would have made it without the internet. When I think of my reduced blueprint for living, I know it was the internet that kept me from feeling completely isolated, frustrated, and stagnant. I still did feel plenty isolated, frustrated, and stagnant, just not completely that way. I would sometimes imagine how I’d get through a pain day … [Read more...]
6 Things Not To Say to a Wheelchair User
Using a wheelchair in public requires you to develop a strong system of defense mechanisms, as it tends to lead strangers to assume they have access to your body. Sometimes these intrusions are physical, like when someone pushes your chair without permission, grabs items out of your hands to “help you carry them,” or climbs over you to open a door for you even if you could have … [Read more...]
How One Adult With SPD Wants To Explain This Condition to Your Sensory Child
This article first appeared on the author’s blog, Coming to My Senses, and is reprinted with permission. As a delayed-diagnosis sensory adult with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), one of my greatest pleasures is helping newly diagnosed children with the same condition, whether this means championing their parents or explaining sensory issues from the inside. We SPD adults … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Find Radical Self-Love and Joy in the Midst of Chronic Pain
Though I have been disabled my entire life and have always written about disability, mine has been an experience with fairly little pain. Muscle spasms are common for me and vary in severity, but they have always seemed nothing more than uncomfortable and inconvenient. Sure, they hurt sometimes and occasionally with great intensity, but they're mostly short-lived. As most … [Read more...]
Lucky To Be Alive?: The Ways We Tell Disabled People They Shouldn’t Be Here
This article originally appeared on the blog a true testimony under the title "Lucky to be alive" and is reprinted by permission. Content note: This article contains references to suicide and sexual abuse. A stranger said to me, “Go kill yourself.” Does he know I am four times more likely to do that because of my epilepsy? That my bipolar and PTSD and history of sexual … [Read more...]
Why Policing Disabled Folks’ Self-Diagnosis Is Classist
I get into arguments with people on the Internet a lot these days. It’s kind of one of the only ways to be a disability activist when there are a lot of days where you can’t leave your bed. The most recent argument I had was with a particular kind of ableist disabled person, which, oxymoronic as it sounds, is a thing that actually exists. In fact, I’ve encountered way too … [Read more...]
7 Ways To Make Your Social Justice Space Accessible to Disabled People
Most social justice movements make a point to be inclusive of as many people as possible, especially marginalized communities. Those movements that don’t do so should. But one group that is often overlooked is disabled people, even though we exist inside every other affinity group. As someone who belongs to multiple “othered” communities (disabled, transgender, working-class, … [Read more...]
Seeking Great-Aunt Sarah: Learning From the Abuse of My Disabled Ancestor
Great-aunt Sarah, age 12 [Image description: This 1921 black-and-white photograph shows the author's great-aunt Sarah as a girl of 12 standing on the grounds of a state school in Wrentham, MA. She is a white girl with shoulder-length brown hair pulled back on the top with a large bow. Her dress is white and extends below her knees, and she is wearing leather lace-up shoes. She … [Read more...]
4 Dating Tips for Mentally Ill, Disabled, and Neurodivergent People
Over the past three years, I’ve learned a lot about the ways in which my brain and body work. I’ve learned that the intense sadness and stress I dealt with in high school did, in fact, qualify as depression and anxiety, and that I could and should seek support for those things. I learned that the extreme physical and mental exhaustion I felt after completing a few days of … [Read more...]
Why Centering Disabled Women Is Crucial for Truly Intersectional Feminism
I consider myself a feminist because I believe in the core principle of feminism: for men and women to be equal. However, many of my fellow disabled people do not identify as feminists because the wider women’s rights movement has consistently excluded disabled women. Many of the gains that non-disabled women have made over the years conveniently have not reached disabled … [Read more...]
When Healthy Isn’t an Option: How I Learned To Love My Chronically Ill Body
This article first appeared on Ravishly and is reprinted by permission. Once upon a time, I counted calories, carbs, and fat. I weighed myself every day, and I exercised for hours at the gym. I viewed my body as the enemy, and I beat it into submission through sheer force of will. I lost 100 pounds, and I kept most of it off. But I am not healthy, and I never will be. I'm … [Read more...]
Who Really Needs a Wheelchair?: Let’s Stop Accusing Disabled Folks of Being Lazy
A few years ago, the disability organization I was working with took a field trip to a performance starring dancers in wheelchairs. As usual, I was cautiously excited: while the people we served lived with a variety of physical and intellectual disabilities, I was the only disabled person on staff. The other staff members sometimes “got it” when it came to disability issues, … [Read more...]
