“Buen chico”: Identificando una “nueva” masculinidad November 24, 2019 by Philippe Leonard Fradet Leave a Comment La imagen social de que los chicos buenos acaban últimos o los chicos buenos nunca se llevan a la chica ha existido durante décadas, sobre todo en las películas de los ochenta. En esas películas, el “chico bueno” es a menudo tímido y/o empollón y/o gordito (blanco) quien promete tratar a la chica de la que va detrás mejor que el “idiota” con el que actualmente sale —con poca o … [Read more...]
9 Keys for Dealing With Gender Dysphoria This Trans Awareness Week November 13, 2019 by Mihran Nersesyan 1 Comment I’ve always had a hard time with gender dysphoria. Identifying it has been half the struggle. For most of my life it was unnameable, and unqualifiably sad -- a deep ache in the pit of my belly that I had learned to ignore. When it reared its head I saw it as dysfunctional, and my self-image was tainted by that view. My dysphoria was difficult to identify because I am … [Read more...]
Hot Boi Summer?: Navigating the Pressure To Alter My Non-Binary Body November 2, 2019 by MicahHobbes_Frazier Leave a Comment Writer's note: i write in lower case; it's my small rebellion. i’m mad. i’m mad that gender rules dictating what is “appropriate dress” for female and male bodies have me thinking about surgically altering my body. i love my body. i love how it’s feminine and masculine at the same time. i love the curve of my belly and the muscle line when i flex my triceps. i love how my … [Read more...]
3 Ways Heterosexual Couples Can Challenge Gender Norms in Their Relationships October 24, 2019 by A.X. Ruiz Leave a Comment Not to brag, but for my wife’s birthday last year, I got her an incredible gift. A month or two prior, she had passively mentioned that she really liked the idea of getting a record player, and that she was tired of our listening to music on our phones while chilling out in our apartment. My solution was acquiring a sweet audio system that included a record player, CD player, … [Read more...]
Notes From a Feminist Trans Guy on the Gendered Policing of Body Hair October 20, 2019 by Aidan McCormack, Guest Writer 5 Comments “I mean, look at you, man. With that mustache you look like a real man. Everybody should want that." So said a guy to me in my bro-far-masculine-of-center gender support group. He said it as a means of establishing camaraderie and admiration. I felt shame. “Girls don’t have hairy backs,” said my nine-year-old peer at the city pool. I was wearing a light blue, shiny … [Read more...]
Learning To Wear Red Lipstick: The Empowerment of Self-Presentation October 17, 2019 by Julie Feng 1 Comment A couple of years ago, I complimented a classmate on her outfit as we were waiting for the professor to arrive. “I love that lipstick color on you,” I said. “Thanks!” she replied. “It was just a red lipstick kind of day, you know?” “Well, I don’t really wear red lipstick, but it looks so gorgeous on you,” I said. “Why don’t you?” she asked. “I bet you’d look amazing with it … [Read more...]
I’m a Married Christian Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children — And That’s Okay October 14, 2019 by Aabye-Gayle Francis-Favilla Leave a Comment As a Christian woman who has no desire to procreate, I’ve often felt like an anomaly or a mutant. In the various church communities I’ve called home at one time or another, I haven’t been aware of a significant number of Christian women like me: women who are happily married, without children, and who remain childless intentionally and unapologetically. For a long time, I was … [Read more...]
Why I Stopped Wearing a Bra and Why It’s So Freeing October 12, 2019 by Katie Tastrom Leave a Comment Like many people who wear bras, I hate them. The best part of every day is when I get home and can take off my bra. I abandoned lacy and pretty bras awhile ago, then underwire had to go, and now for the last few years I've been wearing cheap sports bras. But no more. I realized the only reason I still wore bras at all is because of being sexually objectified by men. So I am … [Read more...]
Sorry Not Sorry: Why I’m Over Playing the Role of “Sweetheart” October 4, 2019 by Nicole Campaniello, Guest Writer 2 Comments When I was a little girl, I was always the bossy friend. I would be the one to dictate the games we played and who played what role. When I was in middle school, I was the easy one. I wanted to be accepted by anyone and everyone, so I submitted. In my early years of high school, I was always the bitch. I didn't value people who talked to me as though I were less than human, … [Read more...]
7 Things My Loved Ones Got Right When I Came Out as Non-Binary September 28, 2019 by West Anderson Leave a Comment I didn't have the perfect experience coming out as transgender and non-binary. Many friends and acquaintances weren't able to change their perception of me and didn't understand the new terms I was using to describe myself. As I meet new people and make new friends, I still struggle daily with coming out. But I was lucky that there were a lot of things my loved ones did right … [Read more...]
8 Lessons That Show How Emotional Labor Defines Women’s Lives September 18, 2019 by Kai Cheng Thom, Guest Writer 4 Comments Content note: This article contains a description of incestuous childhood sexual abuse. The article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. “I want to say: we come from difference, Jonas, You have been taught to grow out, I have been taught to grow in.” – Lily Myers, “Shrinking Women” It’s an early spring evening in Montreal, and … [Read more...]
How Stigmatizing Male Emotional Vulnerability Has Created a Crisis for Us All September 13, 2019 by Kali Holloway 2 Comments This article first appeared on AlterNet under the title "Toxic Masculinity is Killing Men: The Roots of Men and Trauma" and is reprinted by permission. “The three most destructive words that every man receives when he’s a boy is when he’s told to 'be a man.'” — Joe Ehrmann, coach and former NFL player If we are honest with ourselves, we have long known that … [Read more...]
3 Ways My Parents Unintentionally Taught Me My Consent Didn’t Matter July 24, 2019 by Anonymous Leave a Comment I’m writing this piece anonymously because my mother frequently Googles me – types my name into a search bar to find all I’ve been up to splashed across her screen. I think she does this just so she can send my articles to her coworkers to show them how proud of me she is. I’m writing this anonymously because sometimes, in an article, I’ll reference something she said to me, … [Read more...]
50 Ways People Expect Constant Emotional Labor From Women and Femmes July 10, 2019 by Suzannah Weiss, Guest Author Leave a Comment This article was originally published by EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. The work of women and femmes is traditionally undervalued – we get paid less in nearly all professions. But there’s another type of work we’re often expected to do for no pay at all: emotional labor. Emotional labor is the exertion of energy for the purpose of addressing people’s … [Read more...]
7 Pieces of Advice for Dating While You Are Non-Binary July 1, 2019 by Maya Gittelman Leave a Comment Let's be real: the vast majority of dating advice is aggressively cisheteronormative. From popular magazines and dating advice books to talk shows and Bachelor Nation, we have a plethora of suggestions on how cishet, white, able-bodied, upper-middle-class folks can date each other within cishet, patriarchal structures. Fighting over the bill only to "let" the man pay, dressing … [Read more...]
Identidad de Género 101: La guía definifiva para analizar el género June 30, 2019 by Ana Maroto and West Anderson Leave a Comment En una cultura que al mismo tiempo está trabajando para romper con normas de género (Jaden Smith nombrado como la cara de Luis Vuitton para la colección de ropa de mujer primavera/verano 2016, David Bowie, Janet Mock) y sin embargo tenerlo cautivos (todas las reacciones negativas que Smith recibió), estamos adentrándonos en las formas en las que en realidad hablamos sobre el … [Read more...]
