Every day, I have to make the decision about whether or not to come out as transgender. There's a good reason why so much of my friend group is composed of trans people. I don't have to explain myself to them, I don't have to worry whether they are seeing me as I truly am, and I don't have to worry about any unintended microaggressions they might say relating to my gender. … [Read more...]
I Was My Own Body Terrorist and My Transition Saved My Life
I was distracted. Because I was designated female at birth, I had a lot to worry about when it came to my body. Was I thin enough? Was I beautiful enough? Was I alluring, desirable, fuckable? Would anybody want me? I was a teenager immersed in beauty ideals, expectations, and ultimately, body terrorism. The sheer amount of time I spent ruminating on my weight, on my … [Read more...]
But He Never Hit Me: Intimate Partners and Emotional Abuse
(Content Warning: intimate partner violence, attempted suicide) He spent over a year trying to convince me to be with him. We were friends for two years and became close. When one of his relationships ended while I was in college, he said he wanted to be with me. He loved me and needed me. I hadn’t had a boyfriend before, so I was eager for my own romance, but was hesitant … [Read more...]
Navigating the Constant Violence of Being Misgendered
(Source: queerty)[Image description: On a pink background, two white outlines of people are sitting close together at a round table. The one on the left is smiling and tilting their head away while the one on the right leans in towards their ear. In the top left corner, in black text, it reads, “You had me at your ask of my preferred gender pronoun.”] I’ve had several … [Read more...]
The Truth Can Get a Little Hairy: Reflections on Body Hair, Feminism and Trans* Identity
[Image description: This photograph shows the author, a white transgender man with short dark hair, a dark mustache, and a short dark beard, wearing a black shirt with the collar visible. He is smiling and looking into the camera.] “I mean, look at you, man. With that moustache you look like a real man. Everybody should want that,” This guy in my bro-far-masculine of center … [Read more...]
Pronouns and Misgendering
[Image description: A picture of the author wearing a black knit winter hat that has the word “they” across it in white capital letters with a row of pink hearts above and below the word. The hat has a white pom-pom at the top. West is a white non-binary person with very short brown hair just peeking out of the hat. They are wearing a blue plaid flannel buttoned all the way to … [Read more...]
Transitioning While Nonbinary
Many people have asked the question, how can you transition if you’re not male or female? What are you transitioning to? The answer is different for every non-binary person. I know some people who have started hormones or had different surgeries. I know some people who started dressing differently. I know some people for whom the only transition they needed was to … [Read more...]
An Act of Knowing: Moving Towards a Black Femme Politic
When I was a child. What age, I can’t remember. But when I was a child tends to suffice for stories like this. When I was a child, I would play dress-up with my little sister. I’m the oldest of four. Theoretically, I should have been playing with my older, decidedly more butch cousin. Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on who you ask – I was always just a tad bit too … [Read more...]
4 Things Cis Folk Are Clueless About Trans Folk
I appreciate all the cis people in my life who have worked hard to learn about trans issues and become better allies to me and people like me. Despite their sincerity and hard work, there are a few habits that are so deeply engrained into our culture that I notice cis people have trouble remembering to step out of them. So I put together a list of a few things I notice my cis … [Read more...]
Transgender Day of Remembrance: Why Pronouns and Bathrooms Really Matter
This year November is Transgender Awareness Month. It is a month centering transgender women, transgender men and people with non-binary genders as well as those killed by transphobic violence. It includes the Transgender Day of Remembrance on November 20th as well as Transgender Awareness Week or #Transweek, occurring from November 14 to November 20th. The Transgender … [Read more...]
10 Myths We Must Debunk About Transgender Love
While it is unfortunate that transgender people are not playing the roles of transgender characters, the Danish Girl was an outstanding movie. I even watched it twice. The storyline is based on the 2000 novel of the same name by David Ebershoff and loosely inspired by the lives of Danish painters Lili Elbe and Gerda Wegener. But my post today is not a film review; instead, I … [Read more...]
“We Are Conquerors:” Transgender Collective Remakes Beyonce’s “Lemonade” & It’s Stunning
Michell'e Michaels, also known as Miss_Shalae, walks with her head held high and Beyonce stamina strong as she inspires trans people "to follow their hearts and dreams." Miss_Shalae is a Beyonce impersonator and performer based in Los Angeles and the star in the film. If you've been too bogged down with the unsettling news cycle of the past few weeks, we would love to … [Read more...]
How Your Everyday Language Reinforces Homophobia & Transphobia
Our spoken language is rooted in assumptions based from the worldview of cis people and heteronormativity. Our language is also deeply rooted in patriarchy. It is through our everyday language that homophobia and transphobia, essentially cis-hetero-patriarchy, expresses itself. The titles we so commonly use in reference to address family members all refer to binary gender … [Read more...]
7 Ways We Attempt to Build Safety In a Less Safe World for Trans Folk
Being trans is to constantly live a life in terror. But, being trans also means to live a life in one’s own true selfhood. This is the duality of being trans, to live a life of suffering and agony, and to also live a life of self-determination and authenticity. Living a life of terror is to experience various forms of violence on a continuum. From one’s family and friends … [Read more...]
