I am a depressed person, but depressed is a verb. I consider my depression to be the result of social positions and the inevitable history of colonization, of racism, of fat stigma, discrimination and antagonism. I am on antidepressants, but they can only reprogram my brain chemistry and not my social-material reality. They cannot reprogram the ones I love to give me the care I … [Read more...]
How Do We Create Consent Culture With Our Children?
As many cis het white women know right now, it is a time for us to learn everything we have been doing wrong and make amends. But whilst many claim to love learning, discussions of race are hampered because it means confronting our own failings and actively choosing to be vulnerable to the rage of those we have unwittingly oppressed or abused, even if our crime has 'simply' … [Read more...]
Not Your ‘Geisha Doll:’ We Need to Talk About & Not Around Racist Sexual Violence
The fact that sexual violence is often experienced along racism for many people of color is almost always completely glossed over in discussions about sexual assault and rape. It’s something that is mentioned when discussing sexual violence — everyone nods their head in agreement. During these conversations, most white people contribute to this head-nodding circle while looking … [Read more...]
Food Isn’t Just Fuel: The Liberation Politics of Food
“Food is fuel” is one of those statements that, as an immigrant, never quite resonated with me. In addition to being the thing that gives me energy to go through my day, food is also nostalgia, and it is also home. Flying back to my hometown across the world, one of my favorite things to do is eat all the delicious street foods and tropical fruits I can only dream of here in … [Read more...]
Me Vs. She: Why I Won’t Compete With Other Women (& Neither Should You!)
At the start of this year I made a pledge in support of furthering self love. I will not treat other women as competition. In a business like mines where it isn’t uncommon for amazing writers to never get the attention they deserve, scarcity is a problem. Right out of college I was expected to compete for publication with everyone from life-long friends to respected mentors and … [Read more...]
Dear Queer Black Activists: An Honest Letter About Desirability Politics Among Our Men
By: Jeff Baker, Guest Writer, Co-edited by Darryl Antonio Johnson Dear Queer Black Activists, As of late, the desirability politics among a lot of same-gender-loving (SGL) and queer Black men in my social network, many of whom happen to contribute some of society’s most groundbreaking racial justice work, has felt inescapable, and as a result, my mental health has suffered. … [Read more...]
10 Ways To Know When Love Isn’t Love: “Stay Away From People Who Make You Feel Like You’re Hard to Love”
I was raised, taught, and socialized to believe that love is pain. That love is unfair. Raised a woman, I was taught, socialized -- brainwashed -- to believe that love means sacrifice. That as a woman I must martyr myself. That as a woman my value comes from martyring myself to the highest bidder, even if he endeavors to own me, even if he never tries to see past my … [Read more...]
What Happens if We Lose Roe v. Wade: An Interview with the Abortion Doulas
Currently, while I write this, the looming threat of a Roe v. Wade overturn, the future of our rights to bodily autonomy and those whose bodies are most affected by white supremacist patriarchy are on the mind of many. When the most basic rights and needs are attack, it's hard to remember the liberation we truly deserve. With such overwhelming white supremacist violence, a … [Read more...]
Let’s Stop Comparing Ourselves: 6 Ways Jealousy is Stealing Your Self Love & How to Stop It
Comparison is corrosive. It eats away at my ability to be content and confident. It is a poison that kills the love I have for myself. Comparison is a thief of joy, and jealousy is often its partner in crime. Whether I’m comparing my body, abilities, or bank account to someone else’s, I do harm to myself if I allow that comparison to rob me of my self-satisfaction and … [Read more...]
Pimples, Scars, Blackheads: Finding New Ways to Talk About My Skin
I have bad skin. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but I still have holes, pits, scars, blackheads, pimples. It’s hard for me to even write those words, and for reasons I can’t fully understand I feel shame – or maybe embarrassment is a better word. As a fat activist for over two decades you would think that I could talk about my skin with the ease I talk about … [Read more...]
What is the Responsibility of People with Privilege in the Face of Fascism?
If you can possibly stand it, don’t run away. I’ll say it again: don’t run. If your life’s not in danger, if you’re not the one who will be stolen away from your family and locked in a cage next, don’t run away. As much as you can, don’t look away, don’t make concessions to power, don’t excuse, don’t downplay to make yourself or others feel better. I understand that you, … [Read more...]
On Moving the Ego Out of Allyship: Doing the Work Even When No One Commends You
Edit note: The use of lower-case is intentional and the writer's preference. nearly every marginalized person with the platform to do so has already said this, but in case anyone might have missed it: there is no reward for being a good ally, and there is no threshold of welcoming that the marginalized need to maintain for you to care about them. put another way: if you … [Read more...]
The Myth of the Super Black Woman
I like to write, because I can state my opinion without using my voice. It's got a slight tremble at times, slurred , a certain softness due to illness that gives me away. In my mind it has always and will always indicate, an imperfection, a vulnerability, a strangeness that has always meant that I inevitably and immediately fall below a threshold of normalcy for … [Read more...]
Practice Facing the Small Things: 11 ways to Avoid Avoidance
One day a friend of mine who I had been meaning to call (but now felt anxious about how long it had been) got on the bus I was on. Instead of waving to him and saying ‘so glad I ran into you!” I literally ducked down, head out the back exit and walked home….in the rain. This is just one of the so many ways my propensity for avoiding uncomfortable scenarios has popped up in my … [Read more...]
