3 Ways Toxic Masculinity Harmed Me as a Male Survivor of Abuse December 11, 2019 by Gabe Moses Leave a Comment It’s hard for me to write the story about being in an abusive relationship. Not because it’s hard for me to talk about it, though sometimes it is. Not because I’m still carrying shame and self-doubt or because I might trigger my own trauma responses, though I am and I might. It’s because writing about being a male survivor of intimate partner abuse, especially when your abuser … [Read more...]
8 Lessons for Men to Heal Rough Relationships With Their Bodies August 31, 2019 by Philippe Leonard Fradet Leave a Comment Content note: This article contains references to dieting and struggles with food. Men in our society -- contrary to what the ideology of toxic masculinity would have us believe -- are extremely susceptible to the weight loss, dieting, and exercise culture we're subjected to every day. That includes, but is definitely not limited to, the near incessant advertising for workout … [Read more...]
Rejecting the “Real Man” Myth: Why Men Should Embrace Their Femininity August 8, 2019 by Philippe Leonard Fradet Leave a Comment Associating oneself with specific “masculine” or “feminine” traits is a big part of how most people define their gender identities. However, some of the biggest issues arise when it is deemed “inappropriate” for someone to exhibit traits of the “opposite” gender. Take, for example, men who exhibit a strong sense of emotional sensitivity. This trait is typically aligned with … [Read more...]
4 Formas de en las que los varones pueden asumir trabajo emocional en una relación (y por qué deberían) August 4, 2019 by Emanuel Urrea and Philippe Leonard Fradet Leave a Comment Ya sean románticas, sexuales, platónicas o profesionales, las emociones siempre jugaran un rol fundamental en que tan exitosa o poco exitosa es cualquier relación. Las relaciones, por definición, requieren que dos o más partes aporten cierta cantidad de esfuerzo emocional para mantener la relación a flote. A menudo sucede que una sola persona afronta el choque emocional, … [Read more...]
Stop Hurting Women: We Belong to Ourselves Despite Violent Male Entitlement July 17, 2019 by Julie Feng 2 Comments [Content note: descriptions of violence, gendered violence, rape, physical assault, sexual assault, death] Mary “Unique” Spears, a mother of three, was shot on the streets for rejecting a man’s advances. April Sams was thrown over a six-story parking structure by a male co-worker whose unwanted advances she had refused. Maren Sanchez was stabbed in her high school hallway … [Read more...]
Calling Fellow Cis Men: Why We Can’t Stay Silent About Reproductive Justice June 3, 2019 by A.X. Ruiz Leave a Comment I have never made it a secret that for a lengthy period of time in my life, I identified as pro-life. For a time, it was a decision related to the Catholic faith I was raised in. Later, even after leaving Catholicism behind, I maintained my position on something resembling a well-meaning but simplistic ethical basis. I say this with no hint of pride or irony: when I was … [Read more...]
4 Ways Men Can Take On More Emotional Labor In Relationships (And Why We Should) May 28, 2019 by Philippe Leonard Fradet 2 Comments Relationships, by definition, require two or more parties to put forth some amount of emotional effort in order to keep the relationship afloat. Oftentimes one person takes on the brunt of the emotions—especially the negative or stressful emotions—that are produced in their relationships. This collective emotional give-and-take is called emotional labor; it’s the work and … [Read more...]
Carving Out My Own Masculinity as a Disabled Trans Man May 9, 2019 by Gabe Moses Leave a Comment When I was in the Job Corps and had to choose a trade to learn, I chose the one that most of the male students and the masculine-identified AFAB (assigned female at birth) ones did: construction. It was, to the sensibilities of a bunch of working-class 16-to-24-year-olds, the only trade offered that was macho enough. And I sucked at it. I was clumsy. Motor coordination and … [Read more...]
5 Common Behaviors Cis Men May Not Realize Are Abusive (and How to Stop Them) April 26, 2019 by Jamie Utt, Guest Writer 1 Comment This article was originally published on EverydayFeminsim.com and is republished with permission. I recently attended a presentation by Tony Porter, founder of A Call to Men. After watching his TED Talk, I was incredibly excited to see him speak because of how he demands of men that we consider the ways that all of us can act in abusive and violent ways. Seeing him in person, … [Read more...]
8 Ways Men Can Get More Honest About Body Shame April 13, 2019 by Philippe Leonard Fradet Leave a Comment No matter what gender or size you are, everyone has the potential to feel the effects of body shame. Although men, especially cis men, are typically less likely to admit that they feel ashamed of their bodies, that doesn’t mean such feelings don’t occur. It may not be displayed in very explicit ways, such as in the form of mental illness or eating disorders, but there is no … [Read more...]
An Open Letter For F*ckboys: Fear is at the Root of Toxic Masculinity February 25, 2019 by Stanley Augustin Leave a Comment I’ve been told many times by my wife that men suck. Her words offended me, angered, and even irritated me - how could my wife, someone married to a man, make such a sweeping declaration? This is an open letter about how I, a recovering fuckboy, came to find her words so true and how radical self-love is changing my life. Let’s jump right into this: “Men suck.” It’s the … [Read more...]
What Went Wrong With Men That 12 Million Women Said #MeToo? January 12, 2019 by John Bell Leave a Comment This article originally appeared in yes! magazine and is reprinted by permission from the writer. The massive outpouring of women saying #MeToo is both heartbreaking in its scope and encouraging in the bravery and solidarity it shows—12 million uses of #MeToo on social media in the first 24 hours, according to various reports. Commentators are rightly saying we need to … [Read more...]
Living Inside the Contradictions: My Father’s Love and My Father’s Abuse January 5, 2019 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg Leave a Comment I've been thinking a lot lately about the polarized extremes that show up in our public discourse. It's nearly impossible to find a comment thread on the Internet in which people do not feel compelled to take only one position on an issue and to reject any contradiction, any paradox, any additional truths that might illuminate the issue in a more complex way. Perhaps we humans … [Read more...]
7 Reasons Why Patriarchy Is Bad (and Feminism is Good) for Men December 20, 2018 by Philippe Leonard Fradet Leave a Comment No matter where you look in the multiple facets of our country’s culture and our current events, male dominance can be, well, quite dominant and overbearing. Patriarchy—which is the conceptualization of how men, especially cis men, and masculinity are seen as better than, are more respected than, and hold more privileges than women and nonbinary people or femininity—permeates … [Read more...]
Beware These 10 Types of Feminist Men December 16, 2018 by Melissa A. Fabello, Guest Writer and Aaminah Khan, Guest Writer Leave a Comment This article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. Never is a man so potentially dangerous to a female-read person as when he claims to be a feminist. But this is not an opinion that will endear you to many feminists, even other women. “How can you alienate your own allies?” they say. “How perfect do you really expect them to … [Read more...]
10 Reasons Cis Men Must Unabashedly Support Trans and Gender Non-Conforming Folks October 24, 2018 by Philippe Leonard Fradet Leave a Comment Trans and gender non-conforming folks have not been at the forefront of rights and access discussions in the United States as much as they are today. Much of these discussions and this attention has been good, with more and more people coming out as trans or gender non-conforming and more and more people supporting them and pushing for laws to protect them. Unfortunately, many … [Read more...]
