“Wow… you’re really growing!” “You’re a big strong girl!” “You’re becoming a woman so quickly!” “You should watch what you eat.” “It’s time to start dieting.” “Your stretch marks look terrible.” “You shouldn’t wear that.” “You need to do some exercise.” “You’re going to die young.” This is the transgression of fatphobia over the past 24 years of my … [Read more...]
Misogynoir: Sexism and Racism in the Lives of Black Women
#BlackWomensLivesMatter #BlackWomenMatter #Bringbackourgirls #Sayhername #Blacktranswomenslivesmatter #MuteRKelly These are just a few of the hashtags that have become popular in the past years to bring attention to violence experienced by black women. There has been much discussion lately about the invisibility of violence against black women, whether this … [Read more...]
Battling Thin Privilege in Recovery
This article first appeared on Adios Barbie and is reprinted by permission. Editor’s note: This post discusses recovery from restrictive eating disorders in which weight gain is a necessary part of the recovery process. We recognize that not all eating disorders are restrictive and not all those with eating disorders are underweight. I hate it when people blame eating … [Read more...]
But He Never Hit Me: Intimate Partners and Emotional Abuse
(Content Warning: intimate partner violence, attempted suicide) He spent over a year trying to convince me to be with him. We were friends for two years and became close. When one of his relationships ended while I was in college, he said he wanted to be with me. He loved me and needed me. I hadn’t had a boyfriend before, so I was eager for my own romance, but was hesitant … [Read more...]
Navigating the Constant Violence of Being Misgendered
(Source: queerty)[Image description: On a pink background, two white outlines of people are sitting close together at a round table. The one on the left is smiling and tilting their head away while the one on the right leans in towards their ear. In the top left corner, in black text, it reads, “You had me at your ask of my preferred gender pronoun.”] I’ve had several … [Read more...]
10 Señales de lo que el Amor No Es: “Aléjate de la gente que te hace sentir que eres difícil de querer”
Fui educada, enseñada y socializada para creer que el amor es dolor. Que el amor es injusto. Educada como mujer, me enseñaron, me socializaron —me lavaron el cerebro— para creer que el amor significa sacrificio. Que como mujer debo martirizarme. Que como mujer mi valor viene de sacrificarme al mejor postor, incluso si él se empeña en poseerme, incluso si nunca intenta ver más … [Read more...]
What Went Wrong With Men That 12 Million Women Said #MeToo?
This article originally appeared in yes! magazine and is reprinted by permission from the writer. The massive outpouring of women saying #MeToo is both heartbreaking in its scope and encouraging in the bravery and solidarity it shows—12 million uses of #MeToo on social media in the first 24 hours, according to various reports. Commentators are rightly saying we need to … [Read more...]
“You Are Not Alone:” Uncovering the Dark Secret of Black Women and Sexual Abuse
Rape was not explained to me. No one sat me down and told me what it was. When I was a young girl, I heard a news story about a rape in Central Park—the park my school took us to for physical education and recess, so I paid attention. The victim’s face was slashed during the attack—cut with a broken bottle, I think. So for the longest time, I used to think that being raped … [Read more...]
Ain’t We Femme?
This post is dedicated to all of the femmes! When I was a child, Easter was my favorite time of year. Every year, my mom always got me an Easter basket full of goodies. At church, we got to recite our Easter speeches in front of the whole congregation. And after the sermon, they would host an Easter egg hunt for the young folks. They even had a golden egg with money … [Read more...]
Living Inside the Contradictions: My Father’s Love and My Father’s Abuse
[Image description: Against a black background appear a number of words in blue, orange, and black. These words include, “Paradoxes, paradox, statements, contradiction, statement, used, saying group, necessarily, ambiguities, circularity, claim, question, describe, instance, leads, known, reference, veridical, science, situations, obviously, absurdities, self, puzzling, must, … [Read more...]
Unlearning How To Be Thin: Weight Is Not An Indicator of Health
I recently read a post in which a woman asked whether others had experienced the phenomenon of being healthy in a larger body, yet having people point out their weight in making negative diagnostic assumptions about their health. She explained that it’s a double edged sword of presumption: Not only do people claim she can’t be healthy at the size she is now, but that she was so … [Read more...]
New Year, Same You: Anti-Resolution Edition: Falling in Love With Yourself
I was in love with my last partner. For three years, we were together and I proposed to him on his birthday. His calm personality played off of my nervous energy, his logic focused my passion, and his love of cooking balanced my love of eating. Moving out of the home we shared - the life we built together - was the singularly most heartbreaking thing I’ve done in my adult … [Read more...]
New Year, Same You: Anti-Resolution Edition: The Only Weight to Lose is Body Shame
For the past two years, I have worked in Online Marketing for a company that sells fast-moving consumer goods (grocery foods and small gifts, mostly). Every January, my company pushes so-called ‘diet’ items, and I am normally one of the people who does the copywriting for the relevant promotions. As my fingers tap out words like ‘detox’, ‘healthy’, and ‘new start,’ I feel a … [Read more...]
New Year, Same You: Anti-Resolution Edition: My Only Weight to Lose is Body Shame
For the past two years, I have worked in Online Marketing for a company that sells fast-moving consumer goods (grocery foods and small gifts, mostly). Every January, my company pushes so-called ‘diet’ items, and I am normally one of the people who does the copywriting for the relevant promotions. As my fingers tap out words like ‘detox’, ‘healthy’, and ‘new start,’ I feel a … [Read more...]
