This post was originally published by EverydayFeminism under the title "6 Scenarios Where Intentionally Changing Your Weight Doesn't Make Sense -- Even If You Think It Does" and is republished here with permission. Content note: This article contains references to weight loss, dieting, and eating disorders. I met with a new specialist to talk about the osteoporosis I’ve … [Read more...]
3 Ways Toxic Masculinity Harmed Me as a Male Survivor of Abuse
It’s hard for me to write the story about being in an abusive relationship. Not because it’s hard for me to talk about it, though sometimes it is. Not because I’m still carrying shame and self-doubt or because I might trigger my own trauma responses, though I am and I might. It’s because writing about being a male survivor of intimate partner abuse, especially when your abuser … [Read more...]
How Do We Really See Each Other Across Identities?: Notes From A Queer Breakup
Almost a year after separating from my partner, we had a second breakup. Our first breakup, though incredibly painful, was what I can only describe now as tender. After trying to surmount the difficulty of a nearly ten-year age difference, our romantic relationship ended upon the realization that I was not yet ready to "settle down" and wanted more time to explore life as … [Read more...]
Unhappy Holidays?: 3 Things to Remember About Your Holiday Depression
After my mother died, every supposedly joyous occasion had a pall thrown over it. Without her, it was hard to celebrate. Without her, everything felt empty. When my father-in-law lost his mother (my husband's grandmother) just a month before the holidays last year, I understood, in my own way, a bit of what he and his siblings would endure. Each time I witness someone losing a … [Read more...]
5 Ways to Strengthen Your Radical Compassion For Loved Ones With Dementia
As soon as someone is diagnosed with any form of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s Disease, Lewy Body Dementia, or Vascular Dementia, they lose friends and family. Even people who were once close to them may stop coming over to visit. People with dementia often end up becoming more and more isolated because their family and friends don't know how to communicate with them. Family … [Read more...]
10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Calling the Police on Black and Brown Bodies
Serve and protect. That’s the phrase we most commonly associate with police. So how do we deal with the reality that so many Black and brown people live in constant fear and terror of blue uniforms? Thanks to modern-day Black liberation movements like Black Lives Matter, the reality of police violence against marginalized communities is frankly undeniable. We no longer live … [Read more...]
How to Talk About Body Image Issues When You’re Not Fat
It’s hard to grow up in the world that we live in and not have body image issues. No matter what you look like, you undoubtedly have been exposed to advertising or messaging that tells you there's something wrong with the way you look. From “detox” teas to “anti-aging” skincare products to shapewear, someone somewhere is constantly telling us that there is something we need to … [Read more...]
Advice for Able-Bodied People: Not All of Us Can “Take A Walk” to Feel Better
Over the last few years, I don’t think I would have made it without the internet. When I think of my reduced blueprint for living, I know it was the internet that kept me from feeling completely isolated, frustrated, and stagnant. I still did feel plenty isolated, frustrated, and stagnant, just not completely that way. I would sometimes imagine how I’d get through a pain day … [Read more...]
Yeah, I’m a Victim: Reclaiming My Truth and Healing After Rape
Content note: This article contains discussions of rape and physical, childhood, and sexual abuse. In 2016, on a radical feminist Facebook page for survivors of abuse, someone posted the question, “Do you identity as a victim or survivor?” As the thread progressed over the following weeks, people provided very heartfelt and nuanced responses. The discussion came up at a time … [Read more...]
It’s Okay to Forgive, Or Not: Grieving When You’re Estranged From Your Family
Not long ago, I sat with a sweet little old man who was dying. (This is a regular occurrence for me; I’m a rabbi who works in hospice.) The man’s one dying wish was simple: to speak to his teenage granddaughter on the phone in Australia before he died. His selfish daughter was too “bitter” about the past to allow this to happen, he said. His request seemed so reasonable, his … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Discuss Your HIV Status Without Stigmatizing HIV-Positive People
In queer communities especially, so much effort is made to get tested regularly and know our HIV status. These are important and necessary campaigns so that those who engage in sexual practices can make informed decisions and negotiate potential risks accordingly. There have been great efforts made to normalize STI testing, and I see the effects when my friends post about it on … [Read more...]
6 Ways My Parents Unintentionally Taught Me Disordered Eating
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. Content Note: This article contains discussion of eating disorders, including descriptions of restriction practices and family diets. There’s only one time in my life I ever remember seeing my dad cry. It wasn’t at his mother’s funeral or his father’s, though I knew he was sad … [Read more...]
What Do We Do When We Can’t Afford to Boycott?: The Challenges of Ethical Consumption
Ever heard of Buycott? I can’t exactly remember how I stumbled across this smartphone app, but it was simultaneously one of the most exciting and exhausting downloads I have ever made. The basic premise is that you sign up for campaigns you care about, ranging from BDS of Israel to products containing palm oil to companies that lobby for animal testing and union busting. Then … [Read more...]
We’re Still Here: Decolonize Your Mind About Indigenous People This Thanksgiving
This article was originally published at Truthout under the title "The Future is Indigenous: Decolonizing Thanksgiving" and is reprinted here with permission. In 2015, a video meme circulated prior to Thanksgiving, featuring YouTube personality Franchesca Ramsey humorously breaking down the actual history of the holiday. A wet blanket to her family's Thanksgiving dinner, … [Read more...]
The Body Is Not an Apology
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