When conscious, caring people learn about injustices in the world, one of the most commonly asked questions is, “What can I do?” I know the feeling well: the despair and helplessness that come with the yearning to fix an inequity, along with the awareness of a lack of means. The if-onlys chip away at my heart. If only I were a real activist. If only I had a platform. If only I … [Read more...]
9 Reasons Why Acting in Solidarity for Racial Justice is Preferable to ‘Allyship’
There is almost nothing more dangerous in the lives and livelihoods of Black men and women than a well-intentioned white woman with no political framework for her interactions across race. White women’s well-being, our ‘safety,’ is constantly deployed to justify white supremacist violence, especially police violence. Our casual conversations with Black and brown people on the … [Read more...]
How Gentrification Shrank My Self-Confidence
Gentrification happened to me in steps. At first I was confused. Were the non-POC in this predominantly Black/Brown neighborhood lost? Did they miss their stop on this Queens-bound train? Are they simply taking a tour of the best Caribbean spots in Brooklyn? When I let it sink in that they were here to stay, noticeable transplants to a previously self-contained community, I … [Read more...]
4 Ways Men Can Take On More Emotional Labor In Relationships (And Why We Should)
Relationships, by definition, require two or more parties to put forth some amount of emotional effort in order to keep the relationship afloat. Oftentimes one person takes on the brunt of the emotions—especially the negative or stressful emotions—that are produced in their relationships. This collective emotional give-and-take is called emotional labor; it’s the work and … [Read more...]
Healing the Wounds of Growing Up in a Fat-Shaming Family
In the immortal words of Brianna in the classic film Bring It On: All or Nothing, "I've always had a big ass. It runs in my family. We're a big-assed family." My family never used to do “thin” well. My father hovered between “normal” and “more to love,” my mother had a substantially emphasised hourglass shape, and both of my younger brothers were noticeably chubby. As for me? … [Read more...]
10 formas de revisar tus privilegios en relación con trabajadores de la comida rápida y otros servicios
Mi hermano es trabajador de la industria de servicios. Trabaja en un restaurante de comida rápida y hace todo tipo de tareas, desde recibir pedidos de clientes testarudos que piden cosas que no están en el menú hasta limpiar los enchastres que la gente deja en sus mesas al retirarse, limpiar baños y sacar la basura con un enjambre de moscas zumbándole en la cara. Todo por diez … [Read more...]
3 Reasons You Wouldn’t Believe My Ex Abused Me – And Why They All Mean You Should
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. (Content Note: This article references partner abuse, include rape.) Here’s the truth: My ex-boyfriend abused me. He treated me worse than anyone outside of our relationship will ever know. Some of you might believe me if I told you. But I’ve heard over and over again the common … [Read more...]
Six Ways to Talk about STIs (Without Being a Jerk)
Whenever the topic of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) comes up, I secretly get excited and panicked at the same time. I get excited because, as a person with herpes, and specifically as a writer with herpes, I spend a lot of time considering the complexities of what it means to live in a shared body with a virus, particularly one on which society has imposed a code of … [Read more...]
How It Impacts Me as a Queer Woman When Friends Call Each Other “Girl Friends”
As I continue to settle into a queer identity, certain words and their meanings seem to do the exact opposite of settling in. They don't sit still. Words I've never been comfortable using have become part of my regular vocabulary, and words that have never really affected me before suddenly have an unpleasant edge. Like other people, my relationship with words is very much a … [Read more...]
6 Signs Your Call-Out Is About Ego and Not Accountability
No matter how long you’ve been politically conscious, you’ve probably figured out by now that activists are by no means perfect. Even while we’re trying to end oppression, we can sometimes make some harmful mistakes ourselves. So how do you address oppressive mistakes in your community? Say you’re at a social justice event that’s promising in some ways, but problematic in … [Read more...]
From My Abusive Mother to White Supremacy’s Violence: There is Danger in Premature Forgiveness
(Content note: This article contains descriptions of anti-Black white terrorism, including a racist slur.) When my mother was stalking me, she had a man assisting her in her efforts. Prior to me getting a restraining order against her, he called several times saying, “You need to forgive your mother.” My mother has never admitted any brutality or abuse against me. She has … [Read more...]
“You Do Not Exist To Be Used”: Why Your Life Purpose Is Bigger Than Capitalist Productivity
My childhood was colored by my experiences navigating my disabilities. At an early age I was diagnosed with ADHD, hearing loss, and dealt with a neuromuscular disease that was later in life diagnosed as myasthenia gravis. Ever since the age I was able to attend school, academia has been a primary source of stress and poor self-worth for me. The school system was by far the … [Read more...]
7 Cosas Ridículas que no hay que decir a gente Bisexual
A lo largo de los años he sido objeto de muchas observaciones bifóbicas. La bifobia no es solo una expresión específica de homofobia para las personas que son “parcialmente” gays. La bifobia viene de la comunidad queer y heterosexual, y en mi experiencia, es una expresión del pensamiento y/o binario que puede ser muy destructivo para nuestro mundo en muchas maneras. Las que … [Read more...]
