If you’re white, this land was not made for you and me. Like many white North Americans, I grew up with a vague idea of where my ancestors came from. In my case, they were scattered across Western Europe, and I was fascinated by what their lives must have been like. But I had no real connection to what it means, culturally, to be Irish or Scottish or British or German or … [Read more...]
Keyboard Cowardice: How Internet Anonymity is Fuel For Body Terrorism
The intention behind keeping our internet lives private was so we could protect ourselves. Online communication largely takes place with people we don’t personally know and so it makes sense to keep some information private. We don’t want strangers being able to find out intimate details of our personal lives. However, this common sense approach to internet discourse has led to … [Read more...]
Don’t Just Rest – HALT to Get through Difficult Days
This piece first appeared on the website, Rest for Resistance, and is reprinted here by permission. I fight suicidal depression every year. I owe my success in this fight to an acronym a Black psychologist named Dr. Vernon Savage taught me while I was a struggling undergrad. HALT stands for never get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. I’m … [Read more...]
Recognizing When We Get It Wrong and Forgiving Ourselves Afterward
If you are reading this article on a site like The Body is Not An Apology, I cannot conclude anything about you with any certainty — beyond the fact that, in this moment, you have the ability to access my work. I don’t pretend to know you personally or to speak with confidence about your background or, indeed, regarding anything else about you. A major tenet of the radical … [Read more...]
Let Me Tell You About Inter-Generational Trauma
This article was originally published on Residential School Magazine and is republished with permission. My grandmother was placed in residential school at the age of 6. For the 10 years she lived there, she would be given a number instead of a name, and be called that number for the next 10 years. I heard all sorts of horrific stories about the … [Read more...]
Reward Yourself for Taking Care of You: 5 Ways to Self-Care & Why It’s Necessary
As we roll ever closer to the U.S. presidential election, along with waking up to more news of police violence against people of color, self-care is likely going to be high on all of our to-do lists. For many, like me, self-care also becomes a necessity as the days start to get darker. I’m a big believer that the ways we care for ourselves are as varied and individual as we … [Read more...]
Radical Accountability: Navigating The Abusive Habits We May Perpetuate Towards Ourselves
I often find myself thinking about folks who’ve never unraveled. I wonder what that must feel like – if they feel safe with/in themselves. I’m not talking about that human I just can’t seem to get my shit together right now unravel. I mean the seams of your world rip apart and you just slip right off the Earth unravel. I mean the rhythm of all those basic things involved in … [Read more...]
10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Call the Police on Black/Brown Bodies
Serve and protect. That’s the phrase that we most commonly associate with police … so how do we deal with the reality that so many Black and Brown people live in constant fear and terror of blue uniforms? Thanks to modern day Black liberation movements like Black Lives Matter, the reality of police violence against marginalized communities is frankly undeniable. We no longer … [Read more...]
4 Ways Black Folks Take Care of Each Other in White Communities
This two year old article, To the Guy Flying a Confederate Flag in New England, started making the rounds again on social media after the white terrorist attack in Charlottesville, VA on August 12, 2017. The article, written by a white woman, does not even come close to capturing the anger-fear-disgust cocktail I experience when I see a confederate flag flying in New England. … [Read more...]
Aprendiendo a vivir con el deseo de morir
[Advertencia de contenido: Discusión de pensamientos suicidas] Según el Centro para el Control y Prevención de Enfermedades, “La depresión está caracterizada como un estado de tristeza y depresión, disminución de interés en actividades que resultaban placenteras, aumento o pérdida de peso... fatiga, culpa inapropiada, dificultad al concentrarse, así como pensamientos … [Read more...]
Learning to Love Without Filter: The Many Contortions In The World of Bisexuality
This article was originally published on Postmodern Woman and is republished with permission. “I want you to myself,” She whispered to me as her soft fingers curled through the baby hair growing on my neck. She twirled a few strands around her fingers and tugged, hard, as if to pluck them from my head. The actions mirrored her internal struggle. “I want you too … [Read more...]
Misogynoir: Black Women and Femmes Surviving in the Face of State-Sanctioned Violence
This is supposed to be an essay about misogynoir and the state. For me, state-sanctioned violence against Black women and femmes is an issue that is as hypervisible and super-exploited as it is misunderstood. Long before Black feminist scholar Moya Bailey created the term “misogynoir,” the phenomenon has wreaked havoc on African people worldwide, reinforced by a … [Read more...]
Learning Not to Care What Abled Folks Think: How Internalized Ableism Affects My Body Image
I was talking with some of my disabled friends the other day about body image. One of my friends said they were always worried about looking fit because, as a wheelchair user, they feared that any extra weight would be perceived as the result of laziness and possibly part of the reason they needed the chair. Someone else mentioned that she avoided short haircuts because of the … [Read more...]
Perfectly Natural: Tales of a Recovering Perfectionist
Have you ever drawn a realistic-looking tree? I haven’t. Creating lifelike visual representations of nature with my own hands (drawing, painting, sculpting) does not come easily to me. I have a hard time with such things because I’m wired to pursue symmetry. I’m a recovering perfectionist. I like precise circles, straight lines, and right angles. Up until I began to fear I’d … [Read more...]
