The myth of independence is one of the foundational and corrosive myths of American life. On July 4th, 1776, when the US declared “independence” from its colonizer, it did so on the backs of the Indigenous people whose lands they’d stolen and the African people whose enslavement and labor would build the US into the ‘prosperous’ ‘superpower’ that forms the cornerstone of the … [Read more...]
4 Ways Your Outrage Is Changing the World
Dear Tired, Beloved Justice-Seeker, Never let anyone tell you that your voice doesn’t matter. It does. It always has. Here’s what I know about the tone police, the calls to end political correctness, the insistence that “all” and “blue” lives matter, and the refusal to acknowledge white privilege and supremacy: this backlash is a signal that all the ways in which we … [Read more...]
Sometimes “Doing the Work” Takes Work: Reclaiming My Self-Care Beyond Baths and Wine
In my last year of college, I wanted to be the perfect student activist. I spent an inordinate amount of time building my laundry list of accomplishments: a part-time job, perfect grades, hard classes, big fundraisers, impressive campus events, and a résumé to neatly tie it all together in a template that took me two hours to choose. Because I was so busy, I made sure I was … [Read more...]
“We Should All Want to be Hufflepuffs”: Kindness Is a Revolutionary Act
I remember one time when I was in high school, sitting with my friends and engaging in a frighteningly important discussion; namely, in which Hogwarts house we all felt everybody else belonged. For those of you unfamiliar with the Harry Potter fandom, students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry get sorted into one of four houses based on the sort of person they … [Read more...]
Making My Way Back: Recovering Pieces of Myself After Sexual Assault and Divorce
I met Gregory for the first time on October 4, 2003. Our first date—arranged via Match.com as an early-afternoon coffee at a downtown cafe—ended 9½ hours later, when waitstaff at the nearby Thai restaurant we had relocated to, The Happy Smile, finally shooed us out the door. Although he and I did not get married until the following December, we decided to use Oct 4, 2003 as … [Read more...]
Let’s F#ck It Up: 3 Things They Don’t Want You To Know About Taking A Revolutionary Selfie
“This is an experiment in not being afraid of seeing myself. Of not being afraid of seeing my body. And, more importantly for me, not being afraid of other people seeing these things. So, enjoy the photos. I'm not sure all of them will be flattering, but I hope to have more than 314 pictures by the end of this year.” These are the words that opened my first self-love photo … [Read more...]
Breaking Barriers: 5 Black Girls Unapologetically Living Black Girl Magic
The idea of black girl magic has been in the ether (and Twittershpere) for a while now, and while it is not without controversy, I choose to recognize its good intentions. Black girl magic is a rallying cry. It is a spotlight on what often gets marginalized. It is a reminder of the wealth of beauty and ability that black women possess but often don’t get credit for. It is a way … [Read more...]
Maintaining Your Safe Space
The Body Is Not an Apology’s goal is to share the myriad ways human bodies unshackle the box of “beauty” and fling it wide open for all of us to access. Our goal is to redefine the unapologetic, radically amazing magnificence of EVERY BODY on this planet. When we do, we change the world! Join the movement and become a subscriber today! bit.ly/NoBodiesInvisible. Like many … [Read more...]
It’s Never Been More Obvious to Us: The Burlesque Body is Political
In the midst of what can only be described as horrifying electoral campaign season, we are reminded that women, femmes, feminists, queer and trans folks – in the midst of resistance to overwhelming sexual and state violence against us – we are still creating the lives we dream of. Resistance can be joyful. It can remind us of the possibilities, it can usher in new … [Read more...]
Taking Back My Childhood: Confronting My Bullies as an Adult
From what I could tell there were at least seven boys. All of them the same complexion; ash and charcoal brown with what the country folks called “Indian red” beneath their sculpted cheek bones. Despite the Youth Must Be 14 and older swim sign on the calendar in the front of the pool house, these kids appeared to range in age from 12 to 17. “What are they doing here”, I … [Read more...]
Bad Picture Monday: Loving Yourself Right Now
A picture is worth a thousand words: An old saying that many of us recognize. So I would love to know what our selfies say. For most of us, selfies mean our best photos. And, most times, taking a great selfie is a full-on production. You have to find the right angle, the right lighting, and the right caption. I have perfected my selfies over time. My best angle is a … [Read more...]
My Self-Care Kit
[Content warning: This article talks in-depth about symptoms of General Anxiety, Depression, and Health Anxiety.] For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with mental health troubles. I was officially diagnosed with Depression and General Anxiety about ten years ago. Since then, I’ve had some therapy and been on and off various antidepressants. I have been on my … [Read more...]
Killing Normal: How the Desire for Normalcy Ruins Self-Love
Let's start by defining the word normal. What does it even mean, where did it come from, and how has it been used? According to the Etymology Online Dictionary, the word normal dates back to the 1500s and was used as an adjective, meaning typical or common. Later, in the 1640s, it was defined as standing at a right angle, commonly used in carpentry. As a noun, it dates back to … [Read more...]
Calming My Senses, Part 3: An Inside-Out Approach
[Image description: A photo of the author from behind. They are a young, white, thin non-binary person wearing a light blue t-shirt and dark pants. They are meditating, sitting cross-legged in front of a shelf with candles lit on it.] So far, the strategies I've been outlining all follow an “outside-in” approach: physical activities I do to regulate my inner systems. And … [Read more...]
