Even when we have worked hard to move away from body shaming and toxic diet culture toward a life of Radical Self Love and Acceptance, we sometimes slip and our old thoughts start to fire again. It can feel like we are going backwards. It can seem overwhelming and pointless to fight the bombardment of negative body image information we receive all day in the media and the … [Read more...]
Undoing the Dozens: Fighting Back Against Body Shame
“The Dozens” is a game most Black folks probably remember playing when they were younger, though some of us may have referred to it by a different name. The rules are pretty simple and straightforward. Participants take turns insulting one another, usually surrounded by a crowd to egg them on, until one or the other gives up. Jokes can touch on, and usually do, how smart you … [Read more...]
“But They Were Nice… So Why Did I Hate Dance Class?” On Being Fat and Feeling Safe
Ever since I was in senior high school, I wanted to learn how to dance. I’d done a bit of dancing as a kid, but it was not until I was about eighteen that I got truly bitten by the dancing bug. And while many of the other things I was obsessed with back then have failed to keep my interest, my enthusiasm for dancing has never wavered. I think that, more than anything, … [Read more...]
When I Broke Up With My Diet
[Content Warning: Some swearing and weight-loss/diet talk.] Up until about four years ago, I was in a long-term relationship. It had lasted, on and off, for fifteen years, and whenever we were together, it was the most intense relationship I’ve ever had. But it was a bad relationship, based on false hopes and promises of a better life, while giving me nothing much but … [Read more...]
4 Ways We Can Make Eating Healthy a Radical Body-Positive Act
I was twenty-eight the first time I ate a zucchini. Vegetables didn’t figure highly in my menus for most of my life. As a kid they tended to be canned with the occasional salad thrown in for good measure. I ate plenty of fresh fruit, but vegetables? No thanks! Mushy vegetables didn’t have much appeal but they were cheap. Growing up poor often meant cheap food such as white … [Read more...]
4 Things I Hear When You Talk About Your Diet
I don't want to hear about your diet*, and I especially don't want to hear about what you are not eating. I say this as a fat person who is completely happy with my body and refuses to go on weight loss diets, for a number of reasons that I will touch on below. To be clear, I don't say "fat" as an insult about myself, but rather as a neutral descriptor word to talk about how my … [Read more...]
Demanding Our Stories Be Told: We Are Ready for Authentic Representations of Fat Folks’ Stories
I have always been an avid consumer of books, TV shows, movies, video games, and, more recently, webcomics and podcasts. I take great delight in engaging with communities of people who like the same media I do, and I spend a lot of my time thinking about the worlds created by the creators of those media. Now that I am an adult and an activist, my interest in my favourite … [Read more...]
10 Ways To Be Fat (In a World That Wants To Destroy You)
Writer's note: These are some things I have learned after living for more than two and a half decades as a fat person. This list isn’t, by any means, comprehensive or relevant to every fat person. Some things might be relevant to people who aren't fat. That’s great. But don’t forget that this is by and for fat folks. Some things I am still trying to learn. Some … [Read more...]
Take The Cake: Dear Fat Girl, Do You Know How Powerful You Are?
This article by Virgie Tovar originally appeared on Ravishly and has been republished with permission. A question that has been haunting me for well over a month now is one that was posed to me by an ultra cute, very smart fat girl. She asked me how I learned to give up on the dream of being a desirable, beautiful, sexy thin person. Her question seemed to unveil a worldview … [Read more...]
Loose Skin, Stretch Marks, and Cellulite, Oh My: How I Gathered the Courage to Disrupt My Self-Hatred
This article originally appeared in Rarely Wears Lipstick under the title "Fat Bodies, Uneven Skin, and the Courage to Disrupt" and is reprinted by permission from the writer. Content note: this article contains detailed references to body shame, including slang terms for features ascribed to fat bodies and wishes of weight loss, that may be triggering for some … [Read more...]
Why Must Plus-Size Fashion Be “Flattering”?
"Flattering." One quick search through the unread promotional e-mails in my inbox found hundreds of results for this word. “The Most Flattering Swimsuit Ever,” subject lines teased in order to entice me to open them. The word "flattering" is so deeply ingrained in fashion, and particularly in plus-size fashion. But while some still see this word as a guideline, I see it more … [Read more...]
Every Body Is a Beach Body: 5 Ways To Rock Your Body (No Matter Its Size or Shape) This Summer
Every year, usually around April or May, I will be on a train, idly looking at the billboards displayed along passing stations, when I will come across the first piece of “beach body”-related advertising of the season. “Get Beach Body Ready!” the ad boasts, displaying a photo of a pretty, young, white, usually female person, with thick, wavy hair, lightly tanned skin, and a … [Read more...]
Fat Girl on a Bar: How Trapeze Changed My Relationship With Exercise
For two years, I watched my girls do trapeze. I watched with longing because inside me that little girl who used to swing on tree branches and monkey bars wanted to fly again. I remembered being unafraid of anything including my body. But the woman who watched her daughters dance in the air was afraid: afraid of failure, afraid of her body, afraid of moving with others. So I … [Read more...]
This Is My Summer Body Now: 5 Foolproof Ways To Steer Clear of Body Shaming
Summer is here—or if you live in Louisiana like me, summer has been here since May, but I digress. For many of us, it’s time to say goodbye to the hoodies for lighter clothing options, like a slightly lighter-weight hoodie, or even a cardigan if you’re fancy. Those of us who identify as fat or chubby or what-have-you know, the moment we start shedding our attire to feel more … [Read more...]
