I have an entry in my journal from high school about my dilemma over telling my Mom that I needed a Miracle Bra.

The costumer in a play I was in suggested that I go get a Miracle Bra from Victoria’s Secret so that I filled out the top of my costume better. I knew my Mom would not like that idea, but I loved it. I was fourteen years old, and it was the 1990s, a time when everyone was obsessed with pop-culture magazines, and tons of girls repeated the “I must, I must, I must increase my bust” line from Judy Blume’s Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret. That book was first published in the 1970s, and we all knew that line, but few girls I knew had actually read the book.

In the 1990s, Victoria’s Secret was the only known mall brand of lingerie. No kid wanted to end up in the lingerie department of Macy’s or Sears with her mother and what we assumed would be an old lady sales associate, all talking about our breasts. We wanted to look like the big busted, perfect, Victoria’s Secret models. We wanted push-up, padded bras so we would look fuller and smoother, and not have any shape of a real breast or any hint of a nipple. The biggest fear of a teenage girl at that time was to have her “headlights” showing. “Headlights” led to intense ridicule and shame.

Now that I am an adult, and I am over my college days as a sales associate at Victoria’s Secret, I know better. I know better about a lot of things that our society says are “absolutely disgusting and inappropriate” in terms of how we dress. I know better than to make fun of or shame other people for what they are wearing.

Not only do we have people making fun of others for headlights, but we also have shame and sexism around yoga pants, leggings, and the “camel toe.”

Honestly, I am tired of it all. The “rules” around these issues are all meant to control women and what society thinks we should look like. Apparently, all of our body parts are just for sex. Nipple “headlights” mean you want sex. Leggings and yoga pants mean you are making men think about sex. Camel toe is just gross because you are showing a sex part.

Really? Body parts are just body parts, and people wear what they like and what is comfortable. I say we stop freaking out and shaming people over yoga pants, leggings, camel toes, and nipples.

Let’s look at some of the reasons we should stop shaming and instead proclaim “Long live body parts!”

More Radical Reads: Undoing Childhood Body Shame: On Loving Your Body Enough To Listen To It

Yoga Pants and Leggings

Many schools are trying to ban leggings because they are allegedly too tight and distract the boys. There are so many things wrong with this argument that I do not even know where to start. First, it assumes boys can’t control themselves. Second, it assumes girls need to change how they dress because boys are weak. Third, it assumes girls are asking to be looked at as sexual objects. Fourth, it assumes everyone is heterosexual. Overall, it promotes rape culture.

Nipples

This whole “no headlights” thing is just the brainchild of lingerie companies who want to make money with a new look. America has not always been scared of nipples. Have you ever seen a 1950s bullet bra? Padded bras totally change the shape of your breasts, which is fine if that is what you want. However, I do feel that we have gotten away from knowing if we like our breasts the way they are or not. Here is a great post on how wearing an unlined bra helped this woman feel more like herself.

Plus, it’s cultural. If you look at European bras, most of them are not lined or molded. If you look at chats online about bras, women from Europe often do not understand the need for a seamless, molded, or padded bra.

Yet another problem with nipple shame is that every woman’s body is different. Some have inverted nipples, some have small nipples, and some have large nipples. For some women, the amount of padding they would need to make sure there is no nipple show-through would increase their bust size by a few cup sizes. At that point, they no longer look like themselves.

Finally, highly padded bras just do not fit right. Recently, a sales associate at a lingerie store brought me unlined and lined bras. All the lined bras were uncomfortable because they did not conform to my body. The unlined bras were perfect!

More Radical Reads: Let’s Stop Comparing Ourselves: 6 Ways Jealousy is Stealing Your Self Love & How to Stop It

Camel Toe

I am so tired of hearing about camel toe. Camel toe happens. You do no even need to be wearing tight clothing like leggings or a swimsuit to have camel toe. On most pants, a seam goes right down the center of the front. Unless you wear saggy crotch pants, you might get camel toe. Plus, some women have bigger labia majoras and, unless they wear these ridiculous camel toe guards, they will have a camel toe.

If you have a problem with this regular body part, I suggest you go to a rock climbing gym where we all wear harnesses. You will learn to never care about camel toe — or the men’s equivalent, “moose knuckle” — ever again.

All of these rules just encourage people to make fun of and shame others. In particular, they encourage women to make fun of other women, which we just do not need. I am so tired of seeing women posting photos of other women to make fun of their leggings, or their camel toe, or their shirt, or their nipples. Get over it! It’s not your butt or crotch or chest. Plus, I can tell you that, when we make fun of other women with leggings or camel toe or whatever, we are letting our friends know we are not safe for them. We are saying we will make fun of other people, and if you happen to wear what we don’t like, you could be next. By promoting these rules, we are tearing away at the bond that women can have to help and support one another.

If we let men promote these rules, we are increasing sexism, rape culture, and oppression against women. If we don’t speak up and stop people from promoting these clothing rules, women’s bodies will continue to be the “property” of someone else. We will continue to see laws, such as the one proposed in Montana, to outlaw all leggings and yoga pants as “indecent exposure.”

We are also promoting body fear and hatred when we promote these rules. We are telling our daughters and our friends that their bodies are something to be ashamed of and hidden. The fact that women put duct tape over their nipples in order to hide them is alarming. Duct tape is very caustic to the skin. Heck, people use duct tape to remove warts! Why do we want to promote body shame?

Style is a personal preference. If you don’t feel comfortable in leggings, or in pants that might suggest camel toe, or in unlined bras, don’t wear them. Everyone is entitled to their own style. All I am asking is that we quit shaming people over body parts and promoting a culture that hurts women.

Blessings,

Rev. Katie

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