Condoms are imperfect. This is perfectly okay to admit. What is not okay is ignoring the potential consequences of not using them. For most people, condoms are the most effective readily available method of STI and pregnancy prevention. Whether by malice, selfishness, or ignorance, many prefer to not use them, even when they should. They also discourage their partners from … [Read more...]
Why White North Americans Need To Understand Ourselves as “Settlers”
If you’re white, this land was not made for you and me. Like many white North Americans, I grew up with a vague idea of where my ancestors came from. In my case, they were scattered across Western Europe, and I was fascinated by what their lives must have been like. But I had no real connection to what it means, culturally, to be Irish or Scottish or British or German or … [Read more...]
Notes From a Psychiatric Survivor: How Do We Heal When Systems Have (Re)Traumatized Us?
Editor's Note: This article represents the perspective of an individual who identifies as a psychiatric survivor and whose experiences with the mental health field have many times been traumatizing. It is not meant to dismiss the valuable aspects of psychiatry, psychopharmacology, or therapy, or to suggest that others don't benefit from these (often life-saving) resources. I … [Read more...]
10 Defensive Reactions to White Privilege That Make No Damn Sense – But Are Super Common
This article originally appeared in EverydayFeminism and is reprinted by permission. I know it probably makes me a weirdo to want to talk about white privilege so much, but I actually enjoy conversations on this topic – even with people who disagree with me. Sure, these conversations can get heated, uncomfortable, and downright aggravating. But they’re also necessary in order … [Read more...]
4 Signs You’re Culturally Appropriating Buddhism
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminsim.com under the title "4 Signs You're Culturally Appropriating Buddhism -- And Why It's Important Not To" and is republished with permission. Imagine this: You’re a practicing Christian. You believe in God and Jesus, and you go to church every Sunday. You pray before bed. You even help at church fundraisers. As you walk … [Read more...]
Fellow White Women: We Learned To Be Complicit With Oppression — Now We Must Become Brave
This article was originally published on louisaleontiades.com as "The Cowardice of White Women: Learning to Resist" and is republished with permission. Some questions you don’t expect to have to ask in your lifetime, let alone answer. But with the rise of Trumpian fascism, a question has consistently rattled around my white woman’s brain: At what point would I put my own life … [Read more...]
6 Comments That Gaslight People in Conversations About Social Justice
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminism and is republished with permission. It can take courage to talk about how social injustice has affected you – and that makes it all the worse when you open up about it and people try to shut you down. Most people who have spoken out about sexism, racism, or other societal problems will be familiar with at least one of … [Read more...]
7 Ways I Take Care of Myself During Depressive Episodes
I have been living with Bipolar Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder for about 14 years now. Along the way, I've learned that the taboo around talking about mental illness needs to end. It does not further growth, healing, or self-love, so let’s just go ahead and throw it out the window. I've found a few tricks to ease the blow of my depressive episodes and dark mood … [Read more...]
9 Ways To Be Accountable When You’ve Been Abusive
This article originally appeared in EverydayFeminism.com and is reprinted by permission. As I sit in my bed and begin to type (beds are my favorite typing places), there is a part of me that says, Don’t write this article. There is a part of me that still resonates deeply with the fear and shame that surround the topics of abuse and intimate partner violence – the taboo that … [Read more...]
6 Signs Your Call-Out Is About Ego and Not Accountability
No matter how long you’ve been politically conscious, you’ve probably figured out by now that activists are by no means perfect. Even while we’re trying to end oppression, we can sometimes make some harmful mistakes ourselves. So how do you address oppressive mistakes in your community? Say you’re at a social justice event that’s promising in some ways, but problematic in … [Read more...]
We All Mess Up: 6 Compassionate Ways To Hold Each Other Accountable
This article was originally published on Medium under the title "How Do We Hold Each Other Accountable When We Mess Up?" and is republished with permission. It’s hard work being accountable. It’s even harder holding others accountable. As someone who has been on all sides of accountability: asking for help to stop harm I’m experiencing, needing to be held accountable for harm … [Read more...]
7 Ways Social Justice Language Can Become Abusive in Intimate Relationships
This article originally appeared in EverydayFeminism.com and is reprinted by permission. "It’s that bone gnawed moment when you realize ‘The Community’ will do nothing to stop him from showing up at your backdoor in the middle of the night with the rifle he bought for the revolution” —Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, “so what the fuck does consciousness mean anyway” There … [Read more...]
We’re All Problematic — Here’s How to Work Through the Issues We Perpetuate
In all twelve-step programs, one of the steps is to take a personal inventory, which means taking an honest look at ourselves and confronting ideas and behaviors that cause us problems. These include all the ways we prevent ourselves from being the people we want to be, and seeing ourselves as our best selves. These are also the behaviors that can bring us into conflict with … [Read more...]
Don’t Get Defensive: 6 Ways To Respond To Being Called Out Despite Your Good Intentions
I don’t know about you, but I have an unfortunate tendency to put my foot in my mouth. I believe I do it more than the average person, to be honest. It has something to do with how enthusiastic or passionate I become when I am trying to make a point about something. Most of the time I realise exactly what I have said or implied as soon as it tumbles out of my mouth, and the … [Read more...]
