“How are we doing today, Barbara? What can we do for you?” “Now don’t you worry, dear, someone will be with you right away.” “Are you sure you don’t need any help, hon? Here, let me get that for you...“ “You’re how old? No you’re not! I would never have guessed!” “You are so brave! I could never do what you’re doing at your age.” Ageism is so common, and so ingrained in our … [Read more...]
Hot Sex After 50: 3 Myths and 3 Truths
As a longtime sex coach in my mid-50s, I find myself in a constant state of speaking truth to power when it comes to sex and aging. How is hot sex after 50 different from hot sex after 40? Or 20? How is it different from hot sex in the aftermath of divorce? Or during the hottest love affair of our lives? The point is: hot sex matters. It generates and releases energy. It … [Read more...]
“I Can’t Believe She Wore That!”: What Shaming Others Reveals About Our Own Body Shame
One day at the grocery store, I saw three young people walking through the parking lot. One of the girls wore short shorts. Very short shorts. And Ugg boots. I commented -- a lot. My children were with me. I didn’t think at the time about what they processed as I ranted about how short the shorts were. How ridiculous she looked wearing Uggs in July. My own words came back to me … [Read more...]
5 Things I Did After Turning 40 That Changed How I Saw My Aging Self
At thirty-eight I experienced a bit of a midlife crisis. Well, hardly midlife, but still a crisis nonetheless. Forty loomed on the horizon, and I felt a kind of aimless terror at that number. Some of it was kind of silly. What did a mature woman wear? Would I be forced by some secret fashion police to give up my band and anime t-shirts? Would I have to turn in my Chucks and … [Read more...]
Why Centering Disabled Women Is Crucial for Truly Intersectional Feminism
I consider myself a feminist because I believe in the core principle of feminism: for men and women to be equal. However, many of my fellow disabled people do not identify as feminists because the wider women’s rights movement has consistently excluded disabled women. Many of the gains that non-disabled women have made over the years conveniently have not reached disabled … [Read more...]
4 Irresponsible Ways Society Treats Aging and What To Do About It
It’s a lot easier to get old today than it has ever been before. A lot more of us are successful at it than ever before. I use the word "successful" quite purposely: as a member of the baby boomer generation, I am very aware of how the idea of aging has changed in society, and how we seniors are treated. (Sorry, but I have to interrupt myself right here to admit I hate that … [Read more...]
Dear Queer Black Activists: An Honest Letter About Desirability Politics Among Our Men
By: Araya Baker, Guest Writer, Co-edited by Darryl Antonio Johnson Dear Queer Black Activists, As of late, the desirability politics among a lot of same-gender-loving (SGL) and queer Black men in my social network, many of whom happen to contribute some of society’s most groundbreaking racial justice work, has felt inescapable, and as a result, my mental health has suffered. I … [Read more...]
