Let's be real: the vast majority of dating advice is aggressively cisheteronormative. From popular magazines and dating advice books to talk shows and Bachelor Nation, we have a plethora of suggestions on how cishet, white, able-bodied, upper-middle-class folks can date each other within cishet, patriarchal structures. Fighting over the bill only to "let" the man pay, dressing … [Read more...]
Abuse Happens Everywhere: 8 Questions to Ask About Respecting BDSM Boundaries
I came of age during a moment when lesbian feminist culture was booming -– music festivals, women’s bookstores and lesbian feminist political projects were cropping up everywhere. And one of the most damaging and fallacious assumptions of that era was that women were inherently non-violent, that lesbian relationships offered a haven from abuse, that simply because our … [Read more...]
Ecstatic Solitude: When Masturbation Becomes Radical Self-Love
There are two ways I masturbate. Either I plug in the Hitachi Magic Wand and take a supersonic jet to the moon. Or I go slow and use a manual trance-mission. The second way takes me to Mars, Venus, sometimes other solar systems. The difference between the two ways is gray matter: the brain, the sexiest part of the body. My own richly imagined fantasy life is what makes … [Read more...]
