“It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful. I’m not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.” ~Warsan Shire As an aspiring poet, the words of Warsan Shire hold a special sway over me. It’s not only her eloquence that draws me to her writing, but also the depth of her wisdom. I’ve always felt that it’s not enough … [Read more...]
Hair Apparent: Being Brown, Femme, and Loving My Body Hair
There is a tumbr post making the rounds on my dash. The first picture in the series is of an Iranian princess Zahra Khanom Tadj es-Saltaneh from the Qajar dynasty. The legend goes - she was considered so beautiful that about a dozen or so men died after she rejected them. The photograph stands in stark contrast to the usual “exotic” representation of Middle astern princesses … [Read more...]
7 Ways To Resist Eurocentric Beauty Standards and Move Towards Radical Self-Love
Representation matters. When beauty is a standard and the only standards of beauty are Eurocentric -- and aggressively mired in sexist, cissexist restrictions of the gender binary -- we all lose, especially those of us who do not, cannot, and will not conform. It breeds a culture of toxicity, other-hatred, and self-hatred that we must fight. We can fight it … [Read more...]
Why I Don’t Wear Makeup
At an early age, I learned to associate cosmetics with performance — pretending, dancing, or acting. As an aspiring ballerina at Miss Janet’s Dance Studio, I wore makeup for the annual recital. My mother, who never wore makeup, would spread shadow on my eyelids and apply lipstick to my lips and cheeks. I saw cosmetics as being another part of my costume. The makeup was for my … [Read more...]
Loose Skin, Stretch Marks, and Cellulite, Oh My: How I Gathered the Courage to Disrupt My Self-Hatred
This article originally appeared in Rarely Wears Lipstick under the title "Fat Bodies, Uneven Skin, and the Courage to Disrupt" and is reprinted by permission from the writer. Content note: this article contains detailed references to body shame, including slang terms for features ascribed to fat bodies and wishes of weight loss, that may be triggering for some … [Read more...]

The Body Is Not an Apology
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