At a literary event one year, a student in my program was singled out by one of our professors and, with high praise, invited up to the podium to read her work. The professor in question happens to be a very prominent and much-lauded writer himself and was, in fact, the person everyone had come to hear. My fellow student -- let’s call her Rose -- is also an accomplished writer … [Read more...]
Rethinking Beauty, Ableism, and My Own Self-Loathing: What Raising My Disabled Daughter Teaches Me
“Mama, a little girl said Jude has an ugly face,” my six-year-old told me tearfully. Tears stung my own eyes as I lead us through the lobby to the van. Looking down at my youngest daughter, Jude, who has Down syndrome, I felt my chest contract. You know these things are coming, but still, when they arrive? It feels like it’s with the force of a trailer truck. And I knew that … [Read more...]
10 Ways the Beauty Industry Tells You Being Beautiful Means Being White
Note: This article originally appeared on EverydayFeminism and is reprinted by permission. I have to cringe when I think about my early days of putting on makeup. First, my mom wouldn’t let me touch the stuff until high school -- which I can understand, knowing what I know now about how girls can be pressured to grow up too fast. But I was lagging behind other girls who … [Read more...]
7 Things My Unruly, Curly Hair Taught Me About Being Unapologetically Latinx
Growing up, people would always asked me about my hair, about my skin, about my eyes, about my mother, about my grandmother. Anti-blackness would prompt these questions to become inquiries, attempting to trace back lineage beyond dialogue, and into imaginary stories that may have been true or may have not. In their eyes, my hair symbolized something foreign, something … [Read more...]
When Healthy Isn’t an Option: How I Learned To Love My Chronically Ill Body
This article first appeared on Ravishly and is reprinted by permission. Once upon a time, I counted calories, carbs, and fat. I weighed myself every day, and I exercised for hours at the gym. I viewed my body as the enemy, and I beat it into submission through sheer force of will. I lost 100 pounds, and I kept most of it off. But I am not healthy, and I never will be. I'm … [Read more...]
I Don’t Owe You Beauty: On Rooting Out Internalized Oppression and Celebrating Our Radically Non-Conforming Selves
“It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful. I’m not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.” ~Warsan Shire As an aspiring poet, the words of Warsan Shire hold a special sway over me. It’s not only her eloquence that draws me to her writing, but also the depth of her wisdom. I’ve always felt that it’s not enough … [Read more...]
7 Ways To Resist Eurocentric Beauty Standards and Move Towards Radical Self-Love
Representation matters. When beauty is a standard and the only standards of beauty are Eurocentric -- and aggressively mired in sexist, cissexist restrictions of the gender binary -- we all lose, especially those of us who do not, cannot, and will not conform. It breeds a culture of toxicity, other-hatred, and self-hatred that we must fight. We can fight it … [Read more...]
Why I Don’t Wear Makeup
At an early age, I learned to associate cosmetics with performance — pretending, dancing, or acting. As an aspiring ballerina at Miss Janet’s Dance Studio, I wore makeup for the annual recital. My mother, who never wore makeup, would spread shadow on my eyelids and apply lipstick to my lips and cheeks. I saw cosmetics as being another part of my costume. The makeup was for my … [Read more...]
From Brandy and Ballet to Black Studies: How I Arrived at Black Feminism
As a child, Brandy Rayana Norwood — simply known as “Brandy” to most people — was my favorite entertainer. I saw bits of myself in her, and in her headstrong, smart, but sometimes overzealous TV character counterpart, Moesha Mitchell. Brandy was everything a young girl is raised to want to be: beautiful, an actress, a singer, and a model. She was even Cinderella, for crying … [Read more...]
All Bodies Are Holy: Why Selfies Empower My Genderqueer Self
A long time ago, some time in the early to mid-'90s, I was sitting in the back seat of my parents' shitty Ford sedan. In my working-class family’s economy car, there was very little room in the back seat, and my little brother's sweaty head lay heavy against my side. We traveled along the Shoreway with the meager Cleveland skyline to the right and the vast marine nothingness of … [Read more...]
The Evolution of Femininity: Does Radical Self Love Mean I Have to Give Up My Lipstick?
On the journey of loving yourself well, it can be difficult to discern which conventions of society are helpful and which ones are harmful. There are many questions I’ve asked myself—especially as a feminist and as a woman. What are the true origins of my modesty? Can I be strong and still like the color pink? Am I offended when someone refers to me as a girl? How do I feel … [Read more...]
