How I Convinced Myself I Didn’t Have an Eating Disorder — And Returned to Myself Through Fierce Black Self-Love November 8, 2019 by Taylor Steele Leave a Comment Content note: This article discusses eating disorders (including bulimia and anorexia), weight loss, and "thinspiration". It began with a love of tattoos: the permanence of art on an impermanent body, the buzz of the machine, the stinging and the bleeding and the healing. And by “it,” I mean how I taught myself to call my eating disorder “inspiration” -- and thus … [Read more...]
25 Ridiculous Things I Shouldn’t Have To Do To Avoid Street Harassment October 22, 2019 by Maisha Z. Johnson Leave a Comment This article was originally published by EverydayFeminism and is republished here with permission. When it comes to the issue of street harassment, you can’t really grasp what the problem is unless you’ve had to deal with it. So for those of us who do know what being harassed is like, we often have to put up with not just the harassment, but also with dismissive attitudes … [Read more...]
Listen to Our Foremothers: Why Black Women Deserve To Balance Our Rage With Our Joy October 3, 2019 by Joy Notoma Leave a Comment It is a sad time for Black women in this country. I would love to say that this time is unique and unlike that which our foremothers faced after being stolen and brought to this country, holding onto their souls and the shreds of their dignity they were determined never to give up. But we know this is not true. Today, as we carry our rage and sadness, feeling an … [Read more...]
“This Isn’t Working”: How I Learned To Find the Best Therapist for Me September 22, 2019 by Toni Bell Leave a Comment Content note: This article contains references to incest, childhood sexual abuse, and suicidal ideation. Admitting you need therapy can be hard. Finding a therapist can be very tough. Finding a good culturally competent therapist can be downright daunting. I was first put into therapy when I was ten years old. My mother, who has borderline personality disorder, was able to … [Read more...]
How I Came To Honor My “Too Black” Name as a Black, Queer, Fat Woman September 14, 2019 by Quita Tinsley Leave a Comment As a Black, queer, fat woman, I’m constantly aware of how I navigate most spaces. I’m constantly determining whether I can talk about my girlfriend. I’m constantly wondering whether I can eat what and how I want. And I’m constantly aware of how I’m speaking, from my tone to the words that I’m saying. Sometimes, these concerns come from a place of determining my safety. One … [Read more...]
How Being “Selfless” Taught Me Unhealthy Codependency September 4, 2019 by Michal MJ Jones 1 Comment It was clear from when was a very young child -- and my mother might argue earlier -- that I was a deeply sensitive, emotionally intelligent being. My ma has told me about each of her children after childbirth: “With each of you, I looked at both of you and saw these big, soulful eyes that seemed so old and wise.” This natural-born tenderness was nurtured and tended to … [Read more...]
10 Ways the Beauty Industry Tells You Being Beautiful Means Being White August 30, 2019 by Maisha Z. Johnson 1 Comment Note: This article originally appeared on EverydayFeminism and is reprinted by permission. I have to cringe when I think about my early days of putting on makeup. First, my mom wouldn’t let me touch the stuff until high school -- which I can understand, knowing what I know now about how girls can be pressured to grow up too fast. But I was lagging behind other girls who … [Read more...]
Black Girls Cut Too: Self-Harm and Intergenerational Trauma July 5, 2019 by Stacey Stevenson, Guest Writer Leave a Comment Content note: detailed references to self-harm methods I started burning myself at 15. A friend and I burned ourselves in an attempt to engrave a symbol on our arms. After going to the local mall and buying a book on witchcraft, we decided we needed a symbol of our commitment to our new two-person coven. We drew up a draft of our symbol containing our initials (S & T) and … [Read more...]
Why I Refuse To Believe Being Femme Invalidates My Queerness June 29, 2019 by Tiffany Lee Leave a Comment My femme identity is rooted in conjuring up as much softness and pleasure as I can. This world can be incredibly hard and harmful, especially for marginalized folx. Femme-embodiment is my magic of choice to help me navigate through it all. As magic as it is, my gender expression also prompts people to approach me with the “… but you look straight” comment upon "discovering" … [Read more...]
3 Reasons You Wouldn’t Believe My Ex Abused Me – And Why They All Mean You Should May 25, 2019 by Anonymous Leave a Comment This article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. (Content Note: This article references partner abuse, include rape.) Here’s the truth: My ex-boyfriend abused me. He treated me worse than anyone outside of our relationship will ever know. Some of you might believe me if I told you. But I’ve heard over and over again the common … [Read more...]
The Secret Cult of Loneliness February 26, 2019 by Sonya Renee Taylor Leave a Comment This article was originally published for PowellsBooks.org and is reprinted by permission from the writer. I have the distinct feeling I am not supposed to write this. As if by virtue of my melanin I have been contractually bound to an unspoken creed, the first two rules of Black Woman Fight Club: Rule #1: We do not talk about being lonely. Rule #2: We DO NOT talk about being … [Read more...]
“You Are Not Alone”: Uncovering the Dark Secret of Black Women and Sexual Abuse January 11, 2019 by Aabye-Gayle Francis-Favilla Leave a Comment Rape was not explained to me. No one sat me down and told me what it was. When I was a young girl, I heard a news story about a rape in Central Park—the park my school took us to for physical education and recess, so I paid attention. The victim’s face was slashed during the attack—cut with a broken bottle, I think. So for the longest time, I used to think that being raped … [Read more...]
Black Women Save America, but Who Rallies for Black Women? Why It’s Radical To Reclaim Self-Love in a Country Trying To Kill You December 22, 2018 by Tiffany Lee Leave a Comment In the aftermath of the Alabama Senate election at the head of 2018, Black women have had to remind folks that our primary objective is not in ‘saving the country from itself.” Saving ourselves from this country is also high on our list of priorities and has been so for a very long time. Superficial social media praise juxtaposed against the harsh realities that Black women … [Read more...]
In Response to Sean Grant: Online Bullying, Misogynoir, and the Concept of Being an “Ugly Black Woman” December 14, 2018 by Vanessa Lewis Leave a Comment On Tuesday, November 27th, Facebook alerted me that a man named Sean Grant posted a picture of me. I didn’t and don’t know Sean. But, I recently performed at book release for the phenomenal Bay area poet, James Cagney, and thought that perhaps he was someone who attended the reading and snapped a shot. I was excited to see what was there because I knew that I was styling and … [Read more...]
An Act of Knowing: Moving Towards a Black Femme Politic November 26, 2018 by Cortez Wright Leave a Comment When I was a child. What age, I can’t remember. But when I was a child tends to suffice for stories like this. When I was a child, I would play dress-up with my little sister. I’m the oldest of four. Theoretically, I should have been playing with my older, decidedly more butch cousin. Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on who you ask – I was always just a tad bit too … [Read more...]
“Are You Hot in That?” and 3 Other Hijab Questions People Can Stop Asking November 3, 2018 by Samaa Abdurraqib Leave a Comment There’s something about difference – almost any kind of difference – that makes people in dominant cultures or identity categories feel like they can disregard and disrespect others' boundaries by asking deeply personal questions or physically crossing the boundaries of people who embody that difference. And isn’t this the foundation for cultural appropriation? White people, … [Read more...]
