I remember growing up, I was a big fan of the TV show “That 70's Show." It had a catchy intro and featured a group of teenagers, one of them even a migrant like me! In one episode, one of the characters went ring shopping for his girlfriend. The store owner tried to help him choose a ring by putting it on and pretending to be her. However, the boyfriend was “thrown off” by the … [Read more...]
5 Things I Did After Turning 40 That Changed How I Saw My Aging Self
At thirty-eight I experienced a bit of a midlife crisis. Well, hardly midlife, but still a crisis nonetheless. Forty loomed on the horizon, and I felt a kind of aimless terror at that number. Some of it was kind of silly. What did a mature woman wear? Would I be forced by some secret fashion police to give up my band and anime t-shirts? Would I have to turn in my Chucks and … [Read more...]
Are My Stretch Marks Worthy?: My Journey to Radical Self-Love
I was 11 when I learnt all about stretch marks. That they mean you are fat, and these marks will be there for everyone to know you are a fat person. My mum was looking at the marks on my arms, quite worried about some sort of strange rash I might have. At school I showed my "strange" marks to a friend. She calmly told me that they're just stretch marks, something you get if … [Read more...]
How My Mother Taught Me the Magic of Loving My Little Person Reflection
Dear Mom, On November 17, 2005 you passed away. You were the only little person in your family, one of nine children eight of which had the Cecil trademark of red hair, green eyes and freckles. You had me at 24, and I came out the same way. I must admit, I never thought about what a miracle that was until 35 years later, I had my own daughter, Kaya Rose. No red hair, no green … [Read more...]
Fat Girl on a Bar: How Trapeze Changed My Relationship With Exercise
For two years, I watched my girls do trapeze. I watched with longing because inside me that little girl who used to swing on tree branches and monkey bars wanted to fly again. I remembered being unafraid of anything including my body. But the woman who watched her daughters dance in the air was afraid: afraid of failure, afraid of her body, afraid of moving with others. So I … [Read more...]
This Is My Summer Body Now: 5 Foolproof Ways To Steer Clear of Body Shaming
Summer is here—or if you live in Louisiana like me, summer has been here since May, but I digress. For many of us, it’s time to say goodbye to the hoodies for lighter clothing options, like a slightly lighter-weight hoodie, or even a cardigan if you’re fancy. Those of us who identify as fat or chubby or what-have-you know, the moment we start shedding our attire to feel more … [Read more...]
Sometimes “Doing the Work” Takes Work: Reclaiming My Self-Care Beyond Baths and Wine
In my last year of college, I wanted to be the perfect student activist. I spent an inordinate amount of time building my laundry list of accomplishments: a part-time job, perfect grades, hard classes, big fundraisers, impressive campus events, and a résumé to neatly tie it all together in a template that took me two hours to choose. Because I was so busy, I made sure I was … [Read more...]
Why I Don’t Have to ‘Lose the Weight’ First: 3 Ways to Overcome Self-Imposed Body Shame
I am an art collector. On my eighteenth birthday I purchased my first piece and for the past fourteen and half years, I average three to four additional purchases a year. For me, art has been the greatest investment in my life so far because I have yet to discover other delights that bring me as much joy. I have a few favorite artists from which I have acquired pieces; but over … [Read more...]
From the Doctors to the Gym: Navigating Body-Shame In the Most Vulnerable Places
I was scheduled for a doctor’s appointment that was meant to address the ongoing pain and lack of mobility in my left hip. The persistent injury was at its worst in last January, preventing me from even walking normally, much less going out for a nice long run. At the time, I substituted my running workouts entirely with low-impact cardio and, when I was disciplined, some … [Read more...]
