I came of age during a moment when lesbian feminist culture was booming -– music festivals, women’s bookstores and lesbian feminist political projects were cropping up everywhere. And one of the most damaging and fallacious assumptions of that era was that women were inherently non-violent, that lesbian relationships offered a haven from abuse, that simply because our … [Read more...]
My Queer Sex-Positive Life: Unlearning the Gendered Sexual Shame That Kept Me Disempowered
This article was originally published by Jamila Reddy under its original title "Sex-Positivity Means Unlearning Shame" and is republished with permission. When I was five years old, my parents gave my sister and me a book called Where Did I Come From. Published in 1973, the book featured illustrations and explanations of how babies are made. On the front and back covers … [Read more...]
6 Reasons Being Angry Doesn’t Mean You’re Hateful: It Means You Value Your Boundaries
I’ve learned a lot of things about anger in my life. Growing up, I learned to be there for other people when they were angry, helping soothe their unruly emotions, or at least bearing witness to them, packing away my own emotions until they felt like a choking, gnawing grief I couldn’t shake. (There wasn’t enough room for my grief, for my anxiety at being parentified… I … [Read more...]
Letting Go of the Fantasy: 7 Ways to Heal Toxic Family Relationships
Family dynamics can be tricky and we know that no family is perfect. Familial relationships can be some of the best support systems, but they can also be difficult and harmful if you are dealing with toxic family members. Navigating these relationships can be challenging, but also incredibly important when you have committed to a life of Radical Self Love. Get Clear Reflect … [Read more...]
7 Things You Can Be Proud of Doing by the Time You’re 35— Even If You Didn’t Save Twice Your Yearly Salary
It’s safe to say that the vast majority of us are definitely nowhere near able to save twice our yearly salary by age 35, despite the newest out-of-touch punchline from the financial sector. As an American in my early 30s who, like most of “our” generation if you’re also American, has a negative net worth thanks to graduating post-financial crash, trying to build a career … [Read more...]
You’re Not Overreacting: 7 Ways to Avoid Being Gaslit When You Stand Up For Yourself
We all have needs. Some of our needs are basic, in that all of us need them and many of us, thankfully, have them (food, shelter, warmth, etc.). Some of our other needs are more individualised or specific, in that not everybody has them and not everybody needs them (silence when studying, something to cuddle when sleeping, no spices or gluten in food, etc.). These more specific … [Read more...]
