You’re Not Responsible: How To Unlearn the Guilt Inflicted By Parental Abuse October 16, 2019 by Toni Bell Leave a Comment Content note: This article discusses sexual, physical, and emotional abuse at length. Victims of childhood abuse, rape survivors, and victims of domestic abuse are really good at one thing: feeling guilty. We can feel guilty about everything, particularly things that aren’t our responsibility. Survivors are taught to feel responsible for the actions of perpetrators and, as a … [Read more...]
7 Things I Teach My Kids About Consent, Sexual Harassment, and Assault September 24, 2019 by Louisa Leontiades Leave a Comment During a crowded bus journey, my daughter's shrill four-year-old voice piped up clearly and succinctly above the hum of the ongoing conversation: "I want to have sex with [insert classmate here]." A silence, not unlike the one pervading the moment before the conductor raises his baton, fell in anticipation of my reply. And on behalf of all the sex-positive parents, I swallowed … [Read more...]
“This Isn’t Working”: How I Learned To Find the Best Therapist for Me September 22, 2019 by Toni Bell Leave a Comment Content note: This article contains references to incest, childhood sexual abuse, and suicidal ideation. Admitting you need therapy can be hard. Finding a therapist can be very tough. Finding a good culturally competent therapist can be downright daunting. I was first put into therapy when I was ten years old. My mother, who has borderline personality disorder, was able to … [Read more...]
8 Lessons That Show How Emotional Labor Defines Women’s Lives September 18, 2019 by Kai Cheng Thom, Guest Writer 4 Comments Content note: This article contains a description of incestuous childhood sexual abuse. The article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. “I want to say: we come from difference, Jonas, You have been taught to grow out, I have been taught to grow in.” – Lily Myers, “Shrinking Women” It’s an early spring evening in Montreal, and … [Read more...]
7 Things Not To Say to a Child Wrestling With Their Sexuality August 23, 2019 by Ramona Rio Leave a Comment As a young person, I didn’t have any queer adult mentors to teach me about the positivity of exploring my sexual orientation, not to mention my gender identity. Most of what I learned about being LGBTIQ came from '90s mainstream media and my Gay Straight Alliance in high school. After high school, a couple of my friends eventually came out as gay. I listened and learned from … [Read more...]
Living Inside the Contradictions: My Father’s Love and My Father’s Abuse January 5, 2019 by Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg Leave a Comment I've been thinking a lot lately about the polarized extremes that show up in our public discourse. It's nearly impossible to find a comment thread on the Internet in which people do not feel compelled to take only one position on an issue and to reject any contradiction, any paradox, any additional truths that might illuminate the issue in a more complex way. Perhaps we humans … [Read more...]
10 Tips for Visiting the Gynecologist As a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse July 23, 2018 by Sage Martin, Guest Writer Leave a Comment I am 25 years old and until 1 week ago, I had never been to the gynecologist. I had actively avoided going for 13 years, just the idea of making an appointment was enough to bring me to tears and panic. I overcame a lot last Thursday. I genuinely thought I wasn’t going to make it at some points. Despite that, I am here and I went to the gynecologist. I can barely believe … [Read more...]
