How I Learned to be Naked: Listening to My Body and Healing Body Shame December 17, 2019 by M. Robinson, Guest Writer Leave a Comment Content Note: This article references a parent's use of Weight Watchers for their child. I didn’t always hate and hide my body. I was athletic as a child. I swam competitively and played outside until the last drop of daylight. I trusted my body and knew it well. That changed when puberty hit in the fourth grade. I started to look more like a woman than a little kid, and a … [Read more...]
6 Ways My Parents Unintentionally Taught Me Disordered Eating November 30, 2019 by Suzannah Weiss, Guest Author Leave a Comment This article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. Content Note: This article contains discussion of eating disorders, including descriptions of restriction practices and family diets. There’s only one time in my life I ever remember seeing my dad cry. It wasn’t at his mother’s funeral or his father’s, though I knew he was sad … [Read more...]
4 Ridiculous Questions People Asked Me When My 11 Year-Old Came Out as Gay November 9, 2019 by Katie Tastrom Leave a Comment When my son was 11, he came out to me and my husband as gay. Or as he initially put it, “I think I am finally ready to realize something about myself.” (He’s smart and hilarious). My husband and I are both queer (more on that later), so he knew we wouldn't have a negative reaction. We did go out to dinner to celebrate his “realization," but it was largely a non-event. I'm … [Read more...]
Hot Boi Summer?: Navigating the Pressure to Alter My Non-Binary Body November 2, 2019 by MicahHobbes_Frazier Leave a Comment Writer's note: i write in lower case; it's my small rebellion. i’m mad. i’m mad that gender rules dictating what is “appropriate dress” for female and male bodies have me thinking about surgically altering my body. i love my body. i love how it’s feminine and masculine at the same time. i love the curve of my belly and the muscle line when i flex my triceps. i love how my … [Read more...]
When You Call Me Skinny (Hint: It’s Not A Compliment) October 29, 2019 by E. Amato Leave a Comment Content note: This article contains extended discussion of familial fat-shaming, attempted weight loss, dieting, and eating disorders. In a radical self-love webinar I took with TBINAA founder Sonya Renee Taylor, she asked participants to recall their first memory of body shame. Everyone had one. I went blank. I had none. The truth was, I had far too many. My entire life … [Read more...]
How I Confronted My Internalized Anti-Blackness as a Queer Black Man October 28, 2019 by Maximillian Matthews Leave a Comment Desire, oooh like fire... come on, baby, light my fire I used to lip sync for my life with these lyrics when I was a boy. I had no idea what En Vogue was referring to when they sang “Desire,” but that never stopped me from getting into the song. You could say En Vogue was my introduction to the concept of desire. I felt desire for the first time years later as a teenager. My … [Read more...]
10 consejos para navegar el amor propio radical y la cultura del ejercicio October 27, 2019 by Gillian Brown and Emanuel Urrea Leave a Comment El ejercicio puede ser una herramienta valiosa para el amor propio. A través del ejercicio, podemos aprender sobre nuestro cuerpo, podemos hacernos más fuertes y más agiles, y disfrutar de incontables beneficios tanto físicos como mentales. Desafortunadamente, para muchos de nosotros, el ejercicio se siente mas como una herramienta para el odio a una misma que para el amor … [Read more...]
Notes from a Feminist Trans Guy on the Gendered Policing of Body Hair October 20, 2019 by Aidan McCormack, Guest Writer 5 Comments “I mean, look at you, man. With that mustache you look like a real man. Everybody should want that." So said a guy to me in my bro-far-masculine-of-center gender support group. He said it as a means of establishing camaraderie and admiration. I felt shame. “Girls don’t have hairy backs,” said my nine-year-old peer at the city pool. I was wearing a light blue, shiny … [Read more...]
I’m a Married Christian Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children — And That’s Okay October 14, 2019 by Aabye-Gayle Francis-Favilla Leave a Comment As a Christian woman who has no desire to procreate, I’ve often felt like an anomaly or a mutant. In the various church communities I’ve called home at one time or another, I haven’t been aware of a significant number of Christian women like me: women who are happily married, without children, and who remain childless intentionally and unapologetically. For a long time, I was … [Read more...]
4 Tools I Use to Replace Self-Harm with Radical Self-Love October 6, 2019 by Toni Bell Leave a Comment Content note: This article contains in-depth descriptions of self-harm and discussions of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. The first time I saw the film American Beauty, one scene stood out to me. Annette Bening stood in the living room of a home she was trying to sell. She assertively closed the vertical blinds, turned around, and started to cry. She then slapped her … [Read more...]
“This Isn’t Working”: How I Learned to Find the Best Therapist for Me September 22, 2019 by Toni Bell Leave a Comment Content note: This article contains references to incest, childhood sexual abuse, and suicidal ideation. Admitting you need therapy can be hard. Finding a therapist can be very tough. Finding a good culturally competent therapist can be downright daunting. I was first put into therapy when I was ten years old. My mother, who has borderline personality disorder, was able to … [Read more...]
8 Lessons That Show How Emotional Labor Defines Women’s Lives September 18, 2019 by Kai Cheng Thom, Guest Writer 4 Comments Content note: This article contains a description of incestuous childhood sexual abuse. The article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. “I want to say: we come from difference, Jonas, You have been taught to grow out, I have been taught to grow in.” – Lily Myers, “Shrinking Women” It’s an early spring evening in Montreal, and … [Read more...]
How I Came to Honor My “Too Black” Name as a Black, Queer, Fat Woman September 14, 2019 by Quita Tinsley Leave a Comment As a Black, queer, fat woman, I’m constantly aware of how I navigate most spaces. I’m constantly determining whether I can talk about my girlfriend. I’m constantly wondering whether I can eat what and how I want. And I’m constantly aware of how I’m speaking, from my tone to the words that I’m saying. Sometimes, these concerns come from a place of determining my safety. One … [Read more...]
How Stigmatizing Male Emotional Vulnerability Has Created a Crisis for Us All September 13, 2019 by Kali Holloway 2 Comments This article first appeared on AlterNet under the title "Toxic Masculinity is Killing Men: The Roots of Men and Trauma" and is reprinted by permission. “The three most destructive words that every man receives when he’s a boy is when he’s told to 'be a man.'” — Joe Ehrmann, coach and former NFL player If we are honest with ourselves, we have long known that … [Read more...]
How Being “Selfless” Taught Me Unhealthy Codependency September 4, 2019 by Michal MJ Jones 1 Comment It was clear from when was a very young child -- and my mother might argue earlier -- that I was a deeply sensitive, emotionally intelligent being. My ma has told me about each of her children after childbirth: “With each of you, I looked at both of you and saw these big, soulful eyes that seemed so old and wise.” This natural-born tenderness was nurtured and tended to … [Read more...]
This is What It’s Like To Battle an Eating Disorder as a Trans Person August 24, 2019 by Teo Schlögl, Guest Writer and Cory MacKenzie, Guest Writer Leave a Comment Content Note: The following article is written by two authors in separate vignettes exploring their individual narratives. Please know that if you are struggling with an eating disorder, there is help. In the US, dial the toll-free, confidential National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. You are not alone. by Teo Schlögl: I am a white non-binary trans … [Read more...]
