It’s Okay To Forgive, or Not: Grieving When You’re Estranged From Your Family December 2, 2019 by Elliot Kukla Leave a Comment Not long ago, I sat with a sweet little old man who was dying. (This is a regular occurrence for me; I’m a rabbi who works in hospice.) The man’s one dying wish was simple: to speak to his teenage granddaughter on the phone in Australia before he died. His selfish daughter was too “bitter” about the past to allow this to happen, he said. His request seemed so reasonable, his … [Read more...]
Not Easy, Still Worth It: 4 Strategies for White People to Address a Racist Relative’s Racism November 26, 2019 by Ginger Stickney Leave a Comment A great distance separates me from my family. Not just geographical -- they live in Maine and I live in Georgia -- but also the distance of identity. I am a leftist agnostic who practices a vague form of religious expression that encompasses paganism and Catholicism. They are right-wingers with a strong belief in evangelical Christianity. Conversations at the Thanksgiving … [Read more...]
7 Ways “Honoring” Other Cultures Is Really Cultural Appropriation October 31, 2019 by Maisha Z. Johnson Leave a Comment This article was originally published on EverydayFeminsim.com and is republished with permission. If someone was trying to help you, but they were unintentionally doing more harm than good, you’d want to tell them, right? And you’d hope they’d be open to your feedback – after all, you’re not saying they’re a bad person or accusing them of deliberate sabotage. If they really … [Read more...]
I’m a Married Christian Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children — And That’s Okay October 14, 2019 by Aabye-Gayle Francis-Favilla Leave a Comment As a Christian woman who has no desire to procreate, I’ve often felt like an anomaly or a mutant. In the various church communities I’ve called home at one time or another, I haven’t been aware of a significant number of Christian women like me: women who are happily married, without children, and who remain childless intentionally and unapologetically. For a long time, I was … [Read more...]
Not Everyone’s “Born This Way”: How I Grew Into My Middle-Aged Trans Identity September 9, 2019 by Joli St. Patrick Leave a Comment Two years ago, I came out as queer, kinky, polyamorous, and transgender, all in the space of a few months. I’m not young; I'm approaching the age bracket known as “middle age.” In fact, I worried initially that my coming out explosion was some sort of midlife crisis brought on by reading too many queer comics and following too many trans Twitter accounts. Part of me shies away … [Read more...]
How I Survived a Spanking Household June 25, 2019 by Joli St. Patrick 2 Comments Content note: This article contains descriptions of domestic violence and traumatic assault. When my ex-spouse and I were dating, we had the the usual getting-to-know-each-other talks — with a deeper dimension, since we had known each other as kids and had reconnected as adults. As we delved deeply into our personal histories, each providing individual perspectives on our … [Read more...]
5 Ways Mexican Queerness Is a Radical Act Against Colonialism and Machismo June 22, 2019 by Erika_Ruiz Leave a Comment I am a queer non-binary person. The labels I use to describe this queerness are always changing and hardly ever stay static, but I am undoubtedly queer. I also come from a Mexican household. Both of my parents were born in the state of Jalisco and migrated to the United States when they were a young newlywed couple. I exist in the intersection of these identities as a queer … [Read more...]
Religious Freedom: Are You Actually Propagating Prejudice With Your “Beliefs”? June 11, 2019 by Aabye-Gayle Francis-Favilla Leave a Comment I am a Christian. Simply put, I believe in God, Jesus, and the veracity of the Bible. I also love science. I do not think those two things are mutually exclusive. You may disagree. That’s fine with me. I am deeply troubled by what certain Christians are saying. I hereby declare that they don’t communicate for me. I do not presume to speak for anyone other than myself, but I … [Read more...]
My Queer Sex-Positive Life: Unlearning the Gendered Sexual Shame That Kept Me Disempowered May 8, 2019 by Jamila Reddy Leave a Comment This article was originally published by Jamila Reddy under its original title "Sex-Positivity Means Unlearning Shame" and is republished with permission. When I was five years old, my parents gave my sister and me a book called Where Did I Come From. Published in 1973, the book featured illustrations and explanations of how babies are made. On the front and back covers … [Read more...]
Leaving Christianity and Seeking the Goddess: How Reshaping Religion Transformed My Self-Love April 20, 2019 by Ginger Stickney Leave a Comment When I was about seven, I remember going to a revival service with my grandmother. The preacher at one point launched into a sermon on women and makeup. He said, “Makeup isn’t bad, but remember, ladies: you paint the barn, not decorate it.” Those words haunted me throughout much of my life. Even now I can remember them and the way everyone laughed. But it underlined the … [Read more...]
5 Undeniable Reasons We Need To Talk About Christian Privilege August 18, 2018 by Shannon Weber Leave a Comment When I was four years old, my parents moved me from Los Angeles to northern Idaho, where I would live for thirteen years—plus a year-long stint in heavily Mormon Utah during first grade—until I moved away to New England for college. During this time, I was exposed to a poor and working-class, white-dominated culture in which evangelical Christianity was the reigning religion, … [Read more...]
How I Lost My Religion — And Temporarily My Empathy as a Judgmental Atheist July 17, 2018 by A.X. Ruiz 1 Comment The fact that my father never came to mass with the rest of us didn’t bother me as a child. It registered in the same capacity as the fact that he worked night shifts or that Spanish was spoken in my house as often as English — distinctions between my home life and that of my peers, but nothing worth an existential crisis. I was seven or eight when I stood in our garage and … [Read more...]
5 Things I Learned as a White Person After Visiting a Southern Plantation Dedicated to Slavery July 11, 2018 by Shannon Weber Leave a Comment Content warning: description of life under enslavement In February, my partner and I took our first-ever trip to New Orleans, Louisiana during the city’s festive Mardi Gras season. It was an incredible experience, but the most impactful part of our visit by far was our day trip to the Whitney Plantation. Located about an hour’s drive outside New Orleans in the heart of … [Read more...]
Queer Eye: Inviting Social Change, One Makeover at a Time July 5, 2018 by Gillian Brown Leave a Comment When I first saw an ad for the new Queer Eye television show, my primary reaction was one of bemusement. I remembered the original Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and I liked it a lot at the time. I liked how the show would delve into the lives and backgrounds of the weekly "straight guys" more than other makeover shows. I also cannot deny the original show’s importance in … [Read more...]
