I’m that girl, the one everybody goes to when there’s a crisis. I’m there, sorting it, finding out, lending a hand, raising money. That’s me. That was me. Then, one day, I was the crisis. And Then She Fell is the soft title of a memoir of recent events that I never plan to write. I keep making up titles for the not-book, though. It helps me try to make sense of senseless … [Read more...]
Advice for Able-Bodied People: Not All of Us Can “Take a Walk” To Feel Better
Over the last few years, I don’t think I would have made it without the internet. When I think of my reduced blueprint for living, I know it was the internet that kept me from feeling completely isolated, frustrated, and stagnant. I still did feel plenty isolated, frustrated, and stagnant, just not completely that way. I would sometimes imagine how I’d get through a pain day … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Find Radical Self-Love and Joy in the Midst of Chronic Pain
Though I have been disabled my entire life and have always written about disability, mine has been an experience with fairly little pain. Muscle spasms are common for me and vary in severity, but they have always seemed nothing more than uncomfortable and inconvenient. Sure, they hurt sometimes and occasionally with great intensity, but they're mostly short-lived. As most … [Read more...]
4 Tools I Use To Replace Self-Harm with Radical Self-Love
Content note: This article contains in-depth descriptions of self-harm and discussions of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. The first time I saw the film American Beauty, one scene stood out to me. Annette Bening stood in the living room of a home she was trying to sell. She assertively closed the vertical blinds, turned around, and started to cry. She then slapped her … [Read more...]
Why Policing Disabled Folks’ Self-Diagnosis Is Classist
I get into arguments with people on the Internet a lot these days. It’s kind of one of the only ways to be a disability activist when there are a lot of days where you can’t leave your bed. The most recent argument I had was with a particular kind of ableist disabled person, which, oxymoronic as it sounds, is a thing that actually exists. In fact, I’ve encountered way too … [Read more...]
Who Really Needs a Wheelchair?: Let’s Stop Accusing Disabled Folks of Being Lazy
A few years ago, the disability organization I was working with took a field trip to a performance starring dancers in wheelchairs. As usual, I was cautiously excited: while the people we served lived with a variety of physical and intellectual disabilities, I was the only disabled person on staff. The other staff members sometimes “got it” when it came to disability issues, … [Read more...]
Young and Chronically Ill: How I Love My Body When I Feel Betrayed by My Body
There is a specific horror in being young and chronically ill. When you are young you are told your body is indestructible. Your body is at its peak. You’ll never again be at this peak. Youth are painted as the picture of health. So when I was 16 and diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease, I was faced with a sort of paradox; at the height of my youth, at the time I was … [Read more...]
