As I reflect on my father this Fathers' Day, I'm reminded of how I used to teach writing for freshmen at a community college. One of my regular reader-response assignments included an essay by San Francisco journalist Rose del Castillo Guilbault about how the word “macho” carries different interpretations depending on culture. She argues that to Americans, "macho" is a negative … [Read more...]
When Silence Is Shame: Stepping Into the Light of My Abortion
This article was first published at Feministing.com under the title "Silence Equals Shame: Stepping Into the Light of My Abortion." My father called me yesterday, after stumbling upon a Facebook ad that lead him to an interview I did for the 1 in 3 Campaign. In the interview I talked for the first time very publicly about my abortion, an abortion my father never knew I … [Read more...]
How Gentrification Shrank My Self-Confidence
Gentrification happened to me in steps. At first I was confused. Were the non-POC in this predominantly Black/Brown neighborhood lost? Did they miss their stop on this Queens-bound train? Are they simply taking a tour of the best Caribbean spots in Brooklyn? When I let it sink in that they were here to stay, noticeable transplants to a previously self-contained community, I … [Read more...]
6 Signs Your Call-Out Is About Ego and Not Accountability
No matter how long you’ve been politically conscious, you’ve probably figured out by now that activists are by no means perfect. Even while we’re trying to end oppression, we can sometimes make some harmful mistakes ourselves. So how do you address oppressive mistakes in your community? Say you’re at a social justice event that’s promising in some ways, but problematic in … [Read more...]
“You Do Not Exist To Be Used”: Why Your Life Purpose Is Bigger Than Capitalist Productivity
My childhood was colored by my experiences navigating my disabilities. At an early age I was diagnosed with ADHD, hearing loss, and dealt with a neuromuscular disease that was later in life diagnosed as myasthenia gravis. Ever since the age I was able to attend school, academia has been a primary source of stress and poor self-worth for me. The school system was by far the … [Read more...]
Carving Out My Own Masculinity as a Disabled Trans Man
When I was in the Job Corps and had to choose a trade to learn, I chose the one that most of the male students and the masculine-identified AFAB (assigned female at birth) ones did: construction. It was, to the sensibilities of a bunch of working-class 16-to-24-year-olds, the only trade offered that was macho enough. And I sucked at it. I was clumsy. Motor coordination and … [Read more...]
4 Irresponsible Ways Society Treats Aging and What To Do About It
It’s a lot easier to get old today than it has ever been before. A lot more of us are successful at it than ever before. I use the word "successful" quite purposely: as a member of the baby boomer generation, I am very aware of how the idea of aging has changed in society, and how we seniors are treated. (Sorry, but I have to interrupt myself right here to admit I hate that … [Read more...]
Smiling Under Capitalism: 14 Ways LGBTQ+ Workers Face Discrimination in the Service Industry
Lately I’ve been puzzled by the number of people who seem to think it’s possible to have a conversation about gender equality and transgender liberation without discussing economic injustice and racialized experiences. One reason this thought is so common is because of mainstream media. While media engaging with certain transgender bodies and experiences has become more … [Read more...]
Own Your Sh*t: 5 Ways To Navigate Your Partner’s Wealth During the Holidays
The holidays are emotionally challenging for many reasons, but they take on a unique toll on working-class folks who end up in relationships with a partner who comes from a middle or upper-class background. As someone who grew up relatively poor with a single-mom who is currently under-employed, I have a complicated relationship to Christmas, but that became all the more … [Read more...]
“You Deserve To Heal:” 4 Steps To Move Through Survivor’s Guilt
CN: sexual violence, abuse In many methods of healing from trauma, confronting shame is often central to the process. Free up shame, get out from under the blame placed on survivors, and healing is supposed to get easier. Yet when survivor’s guilt goes unaddressed, it’s easy to fall into the pattern of prioritizing other people’s needs over individual needs. Survivors deserve … [Read more...]
Both Ends of the Candle: How Our Culture Privileges and Shames Insomnia
The night before I began the second grade, I huddled onto my bed, a nervous mass of jumbled anxiety. I didn’t toss or turn. Quite the opposite, I held myself rigid atop my comforter, attempting to quiet all of the fears and worries over what the next day would be like, the next year, even the rest of my life—even then, I was a bit of an over-thinker. I had a new … [Read more...]
How Being a Black Child of Immigrants Complicates Your Relationship With America
I’m not Black. I remember being very young and my mother telling me this. She wasn’t defensive or upset that I had asked her the question. She was simply stating a fact. I’m not Black. I’m Jamaican. She had never even considered herself Black until moving to this country as a teenager and encountering the term on immigration papers and then soon after, encountering the reality … [Read more...]
The Myth of the Super Black Woman
I like to write, because I can state my opinion without using my voice. It's got a slight tremble at times, my voice; slurred, a certain softness due to illness that gives me away. In my mind it has and will always indicate imperfection, vulnerability. A strangeness that has always meant I immediately and inevitably fall below a threshold of normalcy, fall below gendered … [Read more...]
How the Trump Administration Is Hurting Older Folks
Despite what you might read in Trump’s daily tweets, many Americans are experiencing hardship under this current administration. This administration is hellbent on rolling back, changing or eliminating programs and legislation that directly impacts people of color, women, LGBTQ individuals, people with disabilities and older Americans in negative and damaging ways. Every time … [Read more...]
