Almost a year after separating from my partner, we had a second breakup. Our first breakup, though incredibly painful, was what I can only describe now as tender. After trying to surmount the difficulty of a nearly ten-year age difference, our romantic relationship ended upon the realization that I was not yet ready to "settle down" and wanted more time to explore life as … [Read more...]
12 maneras de saber si tu cansancio se debe al trabajo emocional y cómo construir limites saludables
Se ha escrito mucho respecto al trabajo emocional en los últimos años. Particularmente, son las mujeres quienes han escrito sobre el trabajo emocional que deben soportar en este mundo en sus distintas variantes, específicamente con relación a varones cis y a sus propias familias. Como mujer trans con el privilegio de tener piel clara, he tenido mi cuota de trabajo emocional. … [Read more...]
How Being “Selfless” Taught Me Unhealthy Codependency
It was clear from when was a very young child -- and my mother might argue earlier -- that I was a deeply sensitive, emotionally intelligent being. My ma has told me about each of her children after childbirth: “With each of you, I looked at both of you and saw these big, soulful eyes that seemed so old and wise.” This natural-born tenderness was nurtured and tended to … [Read more...]
6 Signs Your Relationship Is Codependent
Do you find yourself often caving in to your partner’s demands (or vice versa)? Do you mean ‘No’ every time you say ‘Yes’? Then, you may be in a codependent relationship. When you (or your partner) are unable to function on your own when it comes to decision making, and depends on the other completely, it's a red signal. The relationship can not only end badly but … [Read more...]
What Is Emotional Incest?: Surviving Emotional Abuse in Childhood
Content Warning: This article uses the term emotional incest and discusses childhood emotional abuse and harmful parental relationships. The first time my therapist mentioned the term emotional incest, I was taken aback. The term alone elicits a gut-level reaction. She wrote down the book information for me to look up when I was ready. I wasn’t ready for quite some … [Read more...]
10 Lessons I Learned While Getting Free From Relationship Addiction
Relationships are a basic human need, like water. What’s also true, though, is the cliché: “You can’t love another until you love yourself.” (I think I first heard this in a spaghetti sauce commercial in the nineties. Doesn’t make it any less real.) As for me, I was often in a clingy fog that prevented my connection with myself, my purpose in life, a god of my understanding, … [Read more...]

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