Note: I am writing this article from my perspective of the holiday season, which is very Christmas-centric. Having said that, I believe that at least some of these hints can be applied to other holiday celebrations. The holidays are promoted, to an almost obnoxious level, as being a time of great joy and merriment. Families come around, delicious food is eaten, presents are … [Read more...]
“But He Never Hit Me”: How I Realized My Partner Was Emotionally Abusive
Content Note: This article contains discussion of intimate partner violence and attempted suicide. This article was originally published on xoJane and cross-posted to Everyday Feminism. It appears with permission of Everyday Feminism. He spent over a year trying to convince me to be with him. We were friends for two years and became close. When one of his relationships ended … [Read more...]
“Stop Looking At Your Phone”?: 5 Ways Internet Technology Helps My Queer, Neurodivergent Family
Watching my teens interact on the Internet sometimes feel like coming full circle. My own experience with Internet relationships started in the early nineties on a fetish board, complete with black screen and green print. During that time, I was on the tail-end of an emotionally abusive relationship coupled with a lot of confusion about my sexual identity. Socially awkward … [Read more...]
Unhappy Holidays?: 3 Things to Remember About Your Holiday Depression
After my mother died, every supposedly joyous occasion had a pall thrown over it. Without her, it was hard to celebrate. Without her, everything felt empty. When my father-in-law lost his mother (my husband's grandmother) just a month before the holidays last year, I understood, in my own way, a bit of what he and his siblings would endure. Each time I witness someone losing a … [Read more...]
6 Tips for Easing Your Anxiety This Holiday Season
The holidays are full of joy and cheer -- unless they’re not. For people with anxiety and depression, the holidays can be pretty miserable, leaving them looking for some kind of relief. If you’re the type to suffer from the holiday blues, there are ways to get through the season without a great deal of suffering. Here are six tips I've found help me cope. 1. Lower your … [Read more...]
7 Ways to Support Someone Who May be Suicidal
Our society doesn't talk enough about suicidality. Somehow it's still considered taboo to do so even though suicidal ideation impacts so many of us. For that reason and so many more, it's important to talk about what you can do to help someone who may be suicidal. My perspective comes from my lived experience with suicidality (though thankfully it's been a very long time … [Read more...]
How I Convinced Myself I Didn’t Have an Eating Disorder — And Returned to Myself Through Fierce Black Self-Love
Content note: This article discusses eating disorders (including bulimia and anorexia), weight loss, and "thinspiration". It began with a love of tattoos: the permanence of art on an impermanent body, the buzz of the machine, the stinging and the bleeding and the healing. And by “it,” I mean how I taught myself to call my eating disorder “inspiration” -- and thus … [Read more...]
“It’s Okay Not to Be Okay”: What I Learned From Sitting With My Grief
This article originally appeared in Write Away under the title "Weeping May Endure" and is reprinted here by permission. A friend of mine suffered a grave loss three years ago. When it happened, it stirred up something in me. I do not deny the beauty and compassion and generosity that course through our world, but there is also much malice and hardship and loss. We humans … [Read more...]
3 Uncomfortable Questions You Should Rethink Asking
No query is universally benign. Some questions shouldn’t be asked of a particular person; others shouldn’t be posed at a certain time. Under more circumstances than you might think, innocently intended inquiries can feel like interrogations, even when proffered without malice. In other words, there are no innocent questions. I hope we can all extend grace to one another in … [Read more...]
5 Myths That Uphold Mental Health Stigma in Latinx Communities
It was after three years of struggling with my mental health when I came to terms with needing to see a therapist. I was coping with regular anxiety attacks, situational depression, and untreated trauma. My reluctance to seek out professional help was due to a number of reasons that could be narrowed down to one thing: the stigma that comes with admitting to mental … [Read more...]
14 Truths I Learned for Surviving My Suicidality
Content note: This article discusses suicide and suicidal ideation in-depth. On August 5th of last year, I tried to kill myself. The police were called. I was restrained, patted down, taken to the hospital, and held on a 5150. I was there for two days before they left me go. The term “5150” is the California legal code for “involuntary psychiatric hold.” It is used by law … [Read more...]
Notes from a Psychiatric Survivor: How Do We Heal When Systems Have (Re)Traumatized Us?
Editor's Note: This article represents the perspective of an individual who identifies as a psychiatric survivor and whose experiences with the mental health field have many times been traumatizing. It is not meant to dismiss the valuable aspects of psychiatry, psychopharmacology, or therapy, or to suggest that others don't benefit from these (often life-saving) resources. I … [Read more...]
How Stigmatizing Male Emotional Vulnerability Has Created a Crisis for Us All
This article first appeared on AlterNet under the title "Toxic Masculinity is Killing Men: The Roots of Men and Trauma" and is reprinted by permission. “The three most destructive words that every man receives when he’s a boy is when he’s told to 'be a man.'” — Joe Ehrmann, coach and former NFL player If we are honest with ourselves, we have long known that … [Read more...]
3 Tips For Practicing Self-Care When Grieving
My mother was killed on August 1, 2014 while driving to her final teacher recertification class. She was about to start teaching in a new county and had to take courses in preparation for the fall school start. The person who hit her car, resulting in her hitting a beltway lane divider, was a Maryland State Police cadet. My mother was killed a week before Michael Brown. Other … [Read more...]
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