This article was originally published on The Establishment under the title "We Need To Talk About the Domestic Abuse of Autistic Adults" and is republished with permission. Content Warning: This article references sexual abuse. It didn’t take long for me to identify a sweeping problem that no one is talking about. After much confusion, anguish, flashbacks, self-blame, and … [Read more...]
Rethinking Beauty, Ableism, and My Own Self-Loathing: What Raising My Disabled Daughter Teaches Me
“Mama, a little girl said Jude has an ugly face,” my six-year-old told me tearfully. Tears stung my own eyes as I lead us through the lobby to the van. Looking down at my youngest daughter, Jude, who has Down syndrome, I felt my chest contract. You know these things are coming, but still, when they arrive? It feels like it’s with the force of a trailer truck. And I knew that … [Read more...]
Why Policing Disabled Folks’ Self-Diagnosis Is Classist
I get into arguments with people on the Internet a lot these days. It’s kind of one of the only ways to be a disability activist when there are a lot of days where you can’t leave your bed. The most recent argument I had was with a particular kind of ableist disabled person, which, oxymoronic as it sounds, is a thing that actually exists. In fact, I’ve encountered way too … [Read more...]
7 Ways To Make Your Social Justice Space Accessible to Disabled People
Most social justice movements make a point to be inclusive of as many people as possible, especially marginalized communities. Those movements that don’t do so should. But one group that is often overlooked is disabled people, even though we exist inside every other affinity group. As someone who belongs to multiple “othered” communities (disabled, transgender, working-class, … [Read more...]
Seeking Great-Aunt Sarah: Learning From the Abuse of My Disabled Ancestor
Great-aunt Sarah, age 12 [Image description: This 1921 black-and-white photograph shows the author's great-aunt Sarah as a girl of 12 standing on the grounds of a state school in Wrentham, MA. She is a white girl with shoulder-length brown hair pulled back on the top with a large bow. Her dress is white and extends below her knees, and she is wearing leather lace-up shoes. She … [Read more...]
Quienes son tus amigos importa: por qué soy precavido de ser tu amigo cuando ninguno de tus amigos son marginados
Un día mientras trataba de resolver con vergüenza y acomplejado por mi tendencia a evaluar las clases de personas con las que se rodean las personas que son nuevas en mi vida. Estaba pensando en relación a los cuerpos, particularmente razas y gordura. Hasta ese momento tenia internalizado que era un comportamiento innecesario, prejuicioso e incluso superficial. Pero tuve una … [Read more...]
4 Dating Tips for Mentally Ill, Disabled, and Neurodivergent People
Over the past three years, I’ve learned a lot about the ways in which my brain and body work. I’ve learned that the intense sadness and stress I dealt with in high school did, in fact, qualify as depression and anxiety, and that I could and should seek support for those things. I learned that the extreme physical and mental exhaustion I felt after completing a few days of … [Read more...]
Why Centering Disabled Women Is Crucial for Truly Intersectional Feminism
I consider myself a feminist because I believe in the core principle of feminism: for men and women to be equal. However, many of my fellow disabled people do not identify as feminists because the wider women’s rights movement has consistently excluded disabled women. Many of the gains that non-disabled women have made over the years conveniently have not reached disabled … [Read more...]
Tú no existes para ser usada. Desmantelando conceptos de productividad como propósito vital
Mi infancia fue marcada por mi discapacidad. A edad muy temprana fui diagnosticada con ADHD, pérdida de audición, enfermedad neuromuscular que más tarde fue identificada como miastenia gravis. Desde luego fue especialmente en la escuela donde experimenté las mayores dificultades, porque precisamente era el centro de productividad. Aunque yo era todavía capaz de asistir a clase, … [Read more...]
When Healthy Isn’t an Option: How I Learned To Love My Chronically Ill Body
This article first appeared on Ravishly and is reprinted by permission. Once upon a time, I counted calories, carbs, and fat. I weighed myself every day, and I exercised for hours at the gym. I viewed my body as the enemy, and I beat it into submission through sheer force of will. I lost 100 pounds, and I kept most of it off. But I am not healthy, and I never will be. I'm … [Read more...]
Who Really Needs a Wheelchair?: Let’s Stop Accusing Disabled Folks of Being Lazy
A few years ago, the disability organization I was working with took a field trip to a performance starring dancers in wheelchairs. As usual, I was cautiously excited: while the people we served lived with a variety of physical and intellectual disabilities, I was the only disabled person on staff. The other staff members sometimes “got it” when it came to disability issues, … [Read more...]
4 Ways Sick and Disabled White Folks Can Show Up for Anti-Racism
I know that navigating intersections is hard, especially when you have privilege in one area and are oppressed in another. First, we need to remember it is not nearly as hard as living at the intersections of oppression. We also need to be excruciatingly honest with ourselves (and each other) about how these factors influence us at each time and place we occupy. As a white … [Read more...]
“You Do Not Exist To Be Used”: Why Your Life Purpose Is Bigger Than Capitalist Productivity
My childhood was colored by my experiences navigating my disabilities. At an early age I was diagnosed with ADHD, hearing loss, and dealt with a neuromuscular disease that was later in life diagnosed as myasthenia gravis. Ever since the age I was able to attend school, academia has been a primary source of stress and poor self-worth for me. The school system was by far the … [Read more...]
Communication, Humor, and Experimentation: 10 Tips for Disabled Sex
I was a pretty typical teenager when it came to sex. I wanted it and wanted to know more about it. When the classes I took in school failed to tell me how sex happens for folks with disabilities, I turned to the resource kids in the '90s turned to for everything: Google. The results were terrifying. Most sites told me that good sex probably wasn’t possible and others were … [Read more...]
