Note: I am writing this article from my perspective of the holiday season, which is very Christmas-centric. Having said that, I believe that at least some of these hints can be applied to other holiday celebrations. The holidays are promoted, to an almost obnoxious level, as being a time of great joy and merriment. Families come around, delicious food is eaten, presents are … [Read more...]
Letting Go of the Fantasy: 7 Ways to Heal Toxic Family Relationships
Family dynamics can be tricky. We know, after all, that no family is perfect. Familial relationships can be some of the best support systems, but they can also be difficult and harmful if you're dealing with toxic family members. When you've committed to living a life of radical self-love, having strategies for how to respond to and even heal your toxic family relationships is … [Read more...]
It’s Okay To Forgive, or Not: Grieving When You’re Estranged From Your Family
Not long ago, I sat with a sweet little old man who was dying. (This is a regular occurrence for me; I’m a rabbi who works in hospice.) The man’s one dying wish was simple: to speak to his teenage granddaughter on the phone in Australia before he died. His selfish daughter was too “bitter” about the past to allow this to happen, he said. His request seemed so reasonable, his … [Read more...]
6 Tips for Easing Your Anxiety This Holiday Season
The holidays are full of joy and cheer -- unless they’re not. For people with anxiety and depression, the holidays can be pretty miserable, leaving them looking for some kind of relief. If you’re the type to suffer from the holiday blues, there are ways to get through the season without a great deal of suffering. Here are six tips I've found help me cope. 1. Lower your … [Read more...]
Not Easy, Still Worth It: 4 Strategies for White People to Address a Racist Relative’s Racism
A great distance separates me from my family. Not just geographical -- they live in Maine and I live in Georgia -- but also the distance of identity. I am a leftist agnostic who practices a vague form of religious expression that encompasses paganism and Catholicism. They are right-wingers with a strong belief in evangelical Christianity. Conversations at the Thanksgiving … [Read more...]
8 Things That Happened When I Stopped Shaving (Spoiler: Most Are Pretty Rad)
I remember growing up, I was a big fan of the TV show “That 70's Show." It had a catchy intro and featured a group of teenagers, one of them even a migrant like me! In one episode, one of the characters went ring shopping for his girlfriend. The store owner tried to help him choose a ring by putting it on and pretending to be her. However, the boyfriend was “thrown off” by the … [Read more...]
5 Myths That Uphold Mental Health Stigma in Latinx Communities
It was after three years of struggling with my mental health when I came to terms with needing to see a therapist. I was coping with regular anxiety attacks, situational depression, and untreated trauma. My reluctance to seek out professional help was due to a number of reasons that could be narrowed down to one thing: the stigma that comes with admitting to mental … [Read more...]
14 Truths I Learned for Surviving My Suicidality
Content note: This article discusses suicide and suicidal ideation in-depth. On August 5th of last year, I tried to kill myself. The police were called. I was restrained, patted down, taken to the hospital, and held on a 5150. I was there for two days before they left me go. The term “5150” is the California legal code for “involuntary psychiatric hold.” It is used by law … [Read more...]
“Tomate tu tiempo:” 10 cosas que le podes decir a una persona con ansiedad
Si soy completamente honesta, no tengo idea de cuando empezaron mis problemas de ansiedad. Me diagnosticaron con problemas de ansiedad hace aproximadamente cinco años, pero ya venía experimentando síntomas desde hacía años. Quizás es algo que tengo desde que nací. Cuando sea que haya empezado, siento que ya tengo la experiencia suficiente luego de tantos años de sufrir ansiedad … [Read more...]
6 Questions To Ask Your Partner When You Have More Privilege Than Them
This piece was originally published by EverydayFeminism.com under the title "6 Questions to Ask If You Have More Privilege Than Your Partner" and is republished with permission. Content note: This article briefly alludes to suicidal ideation and eating disorders. I learned to be a girlfriend through ’90s American rom-coms. 90% of the time, I learned, I had to be … [Read more...]
“This Isn’t Working”: How I Learned To Find the Best Therapist for Me
Content note: This article contains references to incest, childhood sexual abuse, and suicidal ideation. Admitting you need therapy can be hard. Finding a therapist can be very tough. Finding a good culturally competent therapist can be downright daunting. I was first put into therapy when I was ten years old. My mother, who has borderline personality disorder, was able to … [Read more...]
8 Lessons That Show How Emotional Labor Defines Women’s Lives
Content note: This article contains a description of incestuous childhood sexual abuse. The article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. “I want to say: we come from difference, Jonas, You have been taught to grow out, I have been taught to grow in.” – Lily Myers, “Shrinking Women” It’s an early spring evening in Montreal, and … [Read more...]
Rethinking Beauty, Ableism, and My Own Self-Loathing: What Raising My Disabled Daughter Teaches Me
“Mama, a little girl said Jude has an ugly face,” my six-year-old told me tearfully. Tears stung my own eyes as I lead us through the lobby to the van. Looking down at my youngest daughter, Jude, who has Down syndrome, I felt my chest contract. You know these things are coming, but still, when they arrive? It feels like it’s with the force of a trailer truck. And I knew that … [Read more...]
6 Ways to Love Yourself When You’re Undocumented in the US
From one immigrant to another, I know many people will say you could've done "it" differently. We are judged, demonized, and under constant attack. The broken US immigration system, meanwhile, tries to intimidate us into believing we have no choices left, that we must accept whatever fate a judge decides for us. But remember that your migration to this country meant choosing … [Read more...]
