Content Note: This article references a parent's use of Weight Watchers for their child. I didn’t always hate and hide my body. I was athletic as a child. I swam competitively and played outside until the last drop of daylight. I trusted my body and knew it well. That changed when puberty hit in the fourth grade. I started to look more like a woman than a little kid, and a … [Read more...]
6 Situations Where Weight Loss May Not Make Sense – Even if You Think It Does
This post was originally published by EverydayFeminism under the title "6 Scenarios Where Intentionally Changing Your Weight Doesn't Make Sense -- Even If You Think It Does" and is republished here with permission. Content note: This article contains references to weight loss, dieting, and eating disorders. I met with a new specialist to talk about the osteoporosis I’ve … [Read more...]
How To Talk About Body Image Issues When You’re Not Fat
It’s hard to grow up in the world that we live in and not have body image issues. No matter what you look like, you undoubtedly have been exposed to advertising or messaging that tells you there's something wrong with the way you look. From “detox” teas to “anti-aging” skincare products to shapewear, someone somewhere is constantly telling us that there is something we need to … [Read more...]
When You Call Me Skinny (Hint: It’s Not a Compliment)
Content note: This article contains extended discussion of familial fat-shaming, attempted weight loss, dieting, and eating disorders. In a radical self-love webinar I took with TBINAA founder Sonya Renee Taylor, she asked participants to recall their first memory of body shame. Everyone had one. I went blank. I had none. The truth was, I had far too many. My entire life … [Read more...]
“Look at My Butt!”: How I Reclaimed My Right To Wear Whatever the Heck I Want
My life has been plagued by people telling me what I can and cannot wear. They tell me not only what is supposed to look good on my short, pear-shaped body, but more distressingly, what I have to wear to be “acceptable.” I've been living a life of “good girls don’t wear that” as a youth, to “successful women don’t wear that” in college, to “female ministers don’t wear that” … [Read more...]
7 Things I Wish People Knew About Being a Fat Woman
This article originally appeared on SHESAID and has been republished with permission. I used to spend a lot of time wondering if people were polite to my face and rude behind my back, probably because I’ve caught people doing that before. To my face they’d tell me how cute my outfit was. Then I’d turn around and they’d make a comment about how “brave” I was for wearing a skirt … [Read more...]
What I Learned From Never Experiencing “Romantic” Love
When I was very young, I had the same dreams and expectations that many girls of my 1950s generation in my social class had: that I would start dating in high school, go to college and eventually meet “the love of my life,” fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t have what I always thought of as romantic love in my life, … [Read more...]
Rethinking Beauty, Ableism, and My Own Self-Loathing: What Raising My Disabled Daughter Teaches Me
“Mama, a little girl said Jude has an ugly face,” my six-year-old told me tearfully. Tears stung my own eyes as I lead us through the lobby to the van. Looking down at my youngest daughter, Jude, who has Down syndrome, I felt my chest contract. You know these things are coming, but still, when they arrive? It feels like it’s with the force of a trailer truck. And I knew that … [Read more...]
6 Ways I Was Taught To Be a “Good Fatty” — And Why I Stopped
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminsim.com and is republished with permission. I wasn’t born fat. I came into fatness as a teenager. This was in part because of medication that increased my water retention drastically and in part because puberty gave me huge breasts, with a belly and thighs to match. And I was lucky, in some ways. My mother was also fat, and … [Read more...]
“Normal” Bodies Don’t Exist: Celebrating Your Body in the Face of Fatphobia
I remember once when I was thirteen years old in the middle of PE class. A teacher came along and told us that we would soon be having swimming lessons over at a nearby private school’s swimming facilities. At first, I was excited. I like swimming, I had a swimming pool at home, and my standard swimming costume of a one-piece, a rash shirt, and board shorts was something I … [Read more...]
3 Reasons We Need To Be Critical of Compulsory Sex Positivity in Queer Spaces
Sex positivity often acts as an implicit — or sometimes explicit — foundation of leftist, feminist, and LGBTQ+ spaces for completely valid reasons. As women and queers, sex has been the driving force behind both our oppression and the spaces we create to separate, heal, and liberate us from our oppression. Sexualized spaces for socializing predate our modern understanding of … [Read more...]
My Struggle To Love With the Lights on After a Lifetime of Fatphobic Abuse
The first time I know that I am fat and that is bad is when I am ten. That is the year I become a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. My mom says I asked to go on a diet. I don’t remember what precipitated this request, but I am sure she’s right. I weigh 135 pounds at the first weigh in. When I find that first weigh in card ten years and 150 pounds later, I cry. I was my adult … [Read more...]
How I Learned To Challenge Fat Discrimination in Healthcare
I have always been proactive about my health. Even when I was more disconnected from my body in the past, I still worked hard to address issues as they arose. I have dealt with a variety of issues over the years and often had to take my health into my own hands. Fat discrimination in the health industry is something I've read and known about, but I really thought I had been … [Read more...]
Superfat Erasure: 4 Ways Smaller Fat Bodies Crowd the Conversation
For most of my life, and especially since coming into a fat identity, I have usually been one of the fattest people if not the fattest person in any given room I enter. When I came into fat activism, I did it operating under the (false) assumption that my experience of fatness was the same—or at least similar, or perhaps comparable—as other fat people’s. The more my community … [Read more...]
