La imagen social de que los chicos buenos acaban últimos o los chicos buenos nunca se llevan a la chica ha existido durante décadas, sobre todo en las películas de los ochenta. En esas películas, el “chico bueno” es a menudo tímido y/o empollón y/o gordito (blanco) quien promete tratar a la chica de la que va detrás mejor que el “idiota” con el que actualmente sale —con poca o … [Read more...]
5 Ways I Teach My Children Intersectional Feminism (And Why It Matters)
The Maine of my childhood was a very homogenous state in terms of race, and really also of class, at least in my small town. For the most part, everyone I knew looked like me. Their families looked like mine. We usually practiced the same religion and even when we didn’t, we knew the language. Even so, I was different. I was the weird kid, quirky, and the other kids bullied me … [Read more...]
3 Ways Heterosexual Couples Can Challenge Gender Norms in Their Relationships
Not to brag, but for my wife’s birthday last year, I got her an incredible gift. A month or two prior, she had passively mentioned that she really liked the idea of getting a record player, and that she was tired of our listening to music on our phones while chilling out in our apartment. My solution was acquiring a sweet audio system that included a record player, CD player, … [Read more...]
Feminist Rage: 4 Ways White Feminists Continue To Silence Women of Color’s Anger at Racism
Women are angry, and rightfully so. I only have to write the words “Brett Kavanaugh” — a series of events so deeply disturbing in their unmasking of elite frat boy rape culture that I stopped my compulsive news watching for three weeks after — to convey how deeply US women are under attack by the Trump regime. As white women in particular are justifiably encouraging each other … [Read more...]
Why I Stopped Wearing a Bra and Why It’s So Freeing
Like many people who wear bras, I hate them. The best part of every day is when I get home and can take off my bra. I abandoned lacy and pretty bras awhile ago, then underwire had to go, and now for the last few years I've been wearing cheap sports bras. But no more. I realized the only reason I still wore bras at all is because of being sexually objectified by men. So I am … [Read more...]
8 Lessons That Show How Emotional Labor Defines Women’s Lives
Content note: This article contains a description of incestuous childhood sexual abuse. The article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. “I want to say: we come from difference, Jonas, You have been taught to grow out, I have been taught to grow in.” – Lily Myers, “Shrinking Women” It’s an early spring evening in Montreal, and … [Read more...]
3 Ways My Parents Unintentionally Taught Me My Consent Didn’t Matter
I’m writing this piece anonymously because my mother frequently Googles me – types my name into a search bar to find all I’ve been up to splashed across her screen. I think she does this just so she can send my articles to her coworkers to show them how proud of me she is. I’m writing this anonymously because sometimes, in an article, I’ll reference something she said to me, … [Read more...]
Why Centering Disabled Women Is Crucial for Truly Intersectional Feminism
I consider myself a feminist because I believe in the core principle of feminism: for men and women to be equal. However, many of my fellow disabled people do not identify as feminists because the wider women’s rights movement has consistently excluded disabled women. Many of the gains that non-disabled women have made over the years conveniently have not reached disabled … [Read more...]
50 Ways People Expect Constant Emotional Labor From Women and Femmes
This article was originally published by EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. The work of women and femmes is traditionally undervalued – we get paid less in nearly all professions. But there’s another type of work we’re often expected to do for no pay at all: emotional labor. Emotional labor is the exertion of energy for the purpose of addressing people’s … [Read more...]
3 Black Feminists Who Lived Radical Self-Love
I am a writer, and as such I am also a lover of words. The way some people might admire a pair of shoes, a car, or a work of art, I appreciate the masterful manipulation of language — especially when the message is both beautiful and intelligent. I regularly find inspiration between two quotation marks. My literary heroes are those who can use words like paint on a … [Read more...]
7 Reasons Why Patriarchy Is Bad (And Feminism Is Good) for Men
No matter where you look in the multiple facets of our country’s culture and our current events, male dominance can be, well, quite dominant and overbearing. Patriarchy—which is the conceptualization of how men, especially cis men, and masculinity are seen as better than, are more respected than, and hold more privileges than women and nonbinary people or femininity—permeates … [Read more...]
Beware These 10 Types of Feminist Men
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. Never is a man so potentially dangerous to a female-read person as when he claims to be a feminist. But this is not an opinion that will endear you to many feminists, even other women. “How can you alienate your own allies?” they say. “How perfect do you really expect them to … [Read more...]
Anti-Trans “Feminists” Converted My Friend: Here’s Why We Can’t Stay Silent
I was scrolling through my Facebook feed one average day recently, when all of a sudden I was confronted with a post condemning the recent passage of a bill protecting the rights of transgender youth. The same bill all my other friends, primarily queer and trans, were celebrating. The post was by someone I went to graduate school with… for gender studies. I … [Read more...]
Me Versus She: Why I Won’t Compete With Other Women (And neither Should You!)
At the start of this year I made a pledge in support of furthering self love. I will not treat other women as competition. In a business like mines where it isn’t uncommon for amazing writers to never get the attention they deserve, scarcity is a problem. Right out of college I was expected to compete for publication with everyone from life-long friends to respected mentors and … [Read more...]
