Si le preguntases a mi madre o a mi novia cuándo hice algo equivocado, te dirán algo como, “Bueno, conociendo a Quita, ella nunca hace nada equivocado”. Pero incluso la Princesa de la Perfección tiene que admitir cuándo se equivoca. Mi viaje de cuidarme a mi misma está en un proceso en el que estoy haciendo más cosas mal de las que no. Como alguien que se ocupa en el trabajo … [Read more...]
Misogynoir: Sexism and Racism in the Lives of Black Women
#BlackWomensLivesMatter #BlackWomenMatter #Bringbackourgirls #Sayhername #Blacktranswomenslivesmatter #MuteRKelly These are just a few of the hashtags that have become popular in the past years to bring attention to violence experienced by black women. There has been much discussion lately about the invisibility of violence against black women, whether this … [Read more...]
But He Never Hit Me: Intimate Partners and Emotional Abuse
(Content Warning: intimate partner violence, attempted suicide) He spent over a year trying to convince me to be with him. We were friends for two years and became close. When one of his relationships ended while I was in college, he said he wanted to be with me. He loved me and needed me. I hadn’t had a boyfriend before, so I was eager for my own romance, but was hesitant … [Read more...]
Navigating the Constant Violence of Being Misgendered
(Source: queerty)[Image description: On a pink background, two white outlines of people are sitting close together at a round table. The one on the left is smiling and tilting their head away while the one on the right leans in towards their ear. In the top left corner, in black text, it reads, “You had me at your ask of my preferred gender pronoun.”] I’ve had several … [Read more...]
The Truth Can Get a Little Hairy: Reflections on Body Hair, Feminism and Trans* Identity
[Image description: This photograph shows the author, a white transgender man with short dark hair, a dark mustache, and a short dark beard, wearing a black shirt with the collar visible. He is smiling and looking into the camera.] “I mean, look at you, man. With that moustache you look like a real man. Everybody should want that,” This guy in my bro-far-masculine of center … [Read more...]
Pronouns and Misgendering
[Image description: A picture of the author wearing a black knit winter hat that has the word “they” across it in white capital letters with a row of pink hearts above and below the word. The hat has a white pom-pom at the top. West is a white non-binary person with very short brown hair just peeking out of the hat. They are wearing a blue plaid flannel buttoned all the way to … [Read more...]
Transitioning While Nonbinary
Many people have asked the question, how can you transition if you’re not male or female? What are you transitioning to? The answer is different for every non-binary person. I know some people who have started hormones or had different surgeries. I know some people who started dressing differently. I know some people for whom the only transition they needed was to … [Read more...]
An Act of Knowing: Moving Towards a Black Femme Politic
When I was a child. What age, I can’t remember. But when I was a child tends to suffice for stories like this. When I was a child, I would play dress-up with my little sister. I’m the oldest of four. Theoretically, I should have been playing with my older, decidedly more butch cousin. Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on who you ask – I was always just a tad bit too … [Read more...]
4 Things Cis Folk Are Clueless About Trans Folk
I appreciate all the cis people in my life who have worked hard to learn about trans issues and become better allies to me and people like me. Despite their sincerity and hard work, there are a few habits that are so deeply engrained into our culture that I notice cis people have trouble remembering to step out of them. So I put together a list of a few things I notice my cis … [Read more...]
10 Myths We Must Debunk About Transgender Love
While it is unfortunate that transgender people are not playing the roles of transgender characters, the Danish Girl was an outstanding movie. I even watched it twice. The storyline is based on the 2000 novel of the same name by David Ebershoff and loosely inspired by the lives of Danish painters Lili Elbe and Gerda Wegener. But my post today is not a film review; instead, I … [Read more...]
“We Are Conquerors:” Transgender Collective Remakes Beyonce’s “Lemonade” & It’s Stunning
Michell'e Michaels, also known as Miss_Shalae, walks with her head held high and Beyonce stamina strong as she inspires trans people "to follow their hearts and dreams." Miss_Shalae is a Beyonce impersonator and performer based in Los Angeles and the star in the film. If you've been too bogged down with the unsettling news cycle of the past few weeks, we would love to … [Read more...]
7 Microaggressions Trans People Face in Health and Mental Healthcare Settings
This piece first appeared on the website, Lighthouse, and is reprinted here by permission. Lighthouse is a rapidly growing new startup that matches LGBTQ people with nearby, LGBTQ affirming therapists and doctors. We asked a gender nonconforming therapist how healthcare providers can become trans-competent and avoid unintentionally harming patients. Whether … [Read more...]
5 Ways to Maintain Your Queer Identity in a Relationship People Read as Straight
This article originally appeared in EverydayFeminism.com and is reprinted by permission. In a way, there is a safety that comes with being out in public holding a boy’s hand. I’m seen as straight, feminine, the “right” sort of woman. Nobody harasses me, leering and telling me to kiss him so they can watch. Nobody calls me the d-word or threatens to “turn” me straight. As far … [Read more...]
Are You Hot in That? And 3 Other Hijab Questions People Can Stop Asking
There’s something about difference – almost any kind of difference – that makes people in dominant cultures/identity categories feel like they can disregard and disrespect boundaries by asking deeply personal questions or physically crossing the boundaries of people who embody that difference. And isn’t this the foundation for cultural appropriation? White people, cis … [Read more...]
