Watching my teens interact on the Internet sometimes feel like coming full circle. My own experience with Internet relationships started in the early nineties on a fetish board, complete with black screen and green print. During that time, I was on the tail-end of an emotionally abusive relationship coupled with a lot of confusion about my sexual identity. Socially awkward … [Read more...]
Not Easy, Still Worth It: 4 Strategies for White People to Address a Racist Relative’s Racism
A great distance separates me from my family. Not just geographical -- they live in Maine and I live in Georgia -- but also the distance of identity. I am a leftist agnostic who practices a vague form of religious expression that encompasses paganism and Catholicism. They are right-wingers with a strong belief in evangelical Christianity. Conversations at the Thanksgiving … [Read more...]
Hot Sex After 50: 3 Myths and 3 Truths
As a longtime sex coach in my mid-50s, I find myself in a constant state of speaking truth to power when it comes to sex and aging. How is hot sex after 50 different from hot sex after 40? Or 20? How is it different from hot sex in the aftermath of divorce? Or during the hottest love affair of our lives? The point is: hot sex matters. It generates and releases energy. It … [Read more...]
Excommunicate Me From the Cult of Toxic Social Justice
“confronting racism, sexism and all the underlying structural oppressions of our system is never easy, and taking a good, hard look at our own privilege is inevitably a painful process. but there’s a harshness in the air now that is more intense than i’ve seen in fifty years of involvement in social justice struggles.” --starhawk in building a welcoming movement “solidarity … [Read more...]
Keyboard Cowardice: How Internet Anonymity Is Fuel for Body Terrorism
The intention behind keeping our internet lives private was so we could protect ourselves. Online communication largely takes place with people we don’t personally know and so it makes sense to keep some information private. We don’t want strangers being able to find out intimate details of our personal lives. However, this common sense approach to internet discourse has led to … [Read more...]
Fat Black Queer Femmes Are the Fetishized Backbones of Our Communities — But Who Takes Care of Us?
This article was originally published on Rest for Resistance as "Labor, Chaotic Desire & Belonging: On Blackness, Femininity, and Queerness" and is republished with permission. This is for the queer fat Black femmes. As children, we learn that we never occupy just one, but all, of our identities. Not a fat girl or a Black girl, but a fat Black girl. In elementary school, … [Read more...]
How Do We Make Online Feminism Less US-Centric?
"I learned a lesson at Sunday school," said my domestic partner-in-crime. "It said that God prevented our rise to power by making us speak different languages so we couldn't understand each other. Different languages aren't a blessing; they're a fucking punishment." He'd just got off the phone with Vodafone internet support in Berlin, our home of mere weeks. They didn't speak … [Read more...]
7 Ways to Manage Your Anxiety in These Turbulent Times
There is no denying that 2017 has been a difficult year in politics. As well as the unmitigated disaster that is the Trump-led presidency, other countries have been dealing with their own unfortunate political events. The UK underwent a snap election that resulted in the Tory government having an even more tenuous hold of the House of Commons than it had held before. Australia … [Read more...]