One day I was grappling with shame and self-consciousness over my tendency to take stock of the kinds of people new people in my life surround themselves with. I was thinking about this in relation to bodies and, specifically, race and fatness. Until that moment I had internalized this behavior as unnecessary, judgmental, and even shallow. But I had a realization that allowed … [Read more...]
Notes From a Feminist Trans Guy on the Gendered Policing of Body Hair
“I mean, look at you, man. With that mustache you look like a real man. Everybody should want that." So said a guy to me in my bro-far-masculine-of-center gender support group. He said it as a means of establishing camaraderie and admiration. I felt shame. “Girls don’t have hairy backs,” said my nine-year-old peer at the city pool. I was wearing a light blue, shiny … [Read more...]
6 Questions To Ask Your Partner When You Have More Privilege Than Them
This piece was originally published by EverydayFeminism.com under the title "6 Questions to Ask If You Have More Privilege Than Your Partner" and is republished with permission. Content note: This article briefly alludes to suicidal ideation and eating disorders. I learned to be a girlfriend through ’90s American rom-coms. 90% of the time, I learned, I had to be … [Read more...]
Rejecting the “Real Man” Myth: Why Men Should Embrace Their Femininity
Associating oneself with specific “masculine” or “feminine” traits is a big part of how most people define their gender identities. However, some of the biggest issues arise when it is deemed “inappropriate” for someone to exhibit traits of the “opposite” gender. Take, for example, men who exhibit a strong sense of emotional sensitivity. This trait is typically aligned with … [Read more...]
Stop Hurting Women: We Belong to Ourselves Despite Violent Male Entitlement
[Content note: descriptions of violence, gendered violence, rape, physical assault, sexual assault, death] Mary “Unique” Spears, a mother of three, was shot on the streets for rejecting a man’s advances. April Sams was thrown over a six-story parking structure by a male co-worker whose unwanted advances she had refused. Maren Sanchez was stabbed in her high school hallway … [Read more...]
Why Trans Womanhood Is Not for Cis Women to Define
When I first heard that Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie had said something unsavory about trans women back in 2017, I avoided the news. I didn't click on it. I tried not think about it. I had read Americanah, watched an interview or two, saw her talk "The Danger of a Single Story." I fondly followed her work and her outspoken position on feminism. As someone whose politics revolve … [Read more...]
25 Ways I Was Granted White Male Privilege After I Transitioned – And Why ALL Men Must Speak Up Against Sexism
This article originally appeared on Everyday Feminism under the title "These 25 Examples of Male Privilege from a Trans Guy's Perspective Really Prove the Point" and is reprinted by permission. Quite a bit changed for me over the first couple of years I started testosterone. My health and mental well-being improved, my "happy button" grew over an inch in length, my natural musk … [Read more...]

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