Every day, I have to make the decision about whether or not to come out as transgender. There's a good reason why so much of my friend group is composed of trans people. I don't have to explain myself to them, I don't have to worry whether they are seeing me as I truly am, and I don't have to worry about any unintended microaggressions they might say relating to my gender. … [Read more...]
#MeToo: A Letter to The Women Who Exclude Trans & Non-binary People from “Safe Spaces”
A letter to those who exclude nonbinary trans folk from your safe spaces: I started living my truth as transgender and nonbinary almost a year ago. I’ve been out as queer for many years. And I’ve been in this feminine body my entire life. It’s been a complicated journey, especially for someone who grew up in the South wearing GRITS merch. Having gone through the whole … [Read more...]
10 Reasons Cis Men Must Unabashedly Support Trans and Gender Non-Conforming Folks
Trans and gender non-conforming folks have not been at the forefront of rights and access discussions in the United States as much as they are today. Much of these discussions and this attention has been good, with more and more people coming out as trans or gender non-conforming and more and more people supporting them and pushing for laws to protect them. Unfortunately, many … [Read more...]
5 Ways to Help Kids Think Outside the Gender Binary
When I was in middle school, I would ask my mom if I could watch certain TV shows other kids were watching: FRIENDS, Scrubs, etc. She said sure (she’s pretty chill about stuff like that), but she told me there were a lot of jokes I wouldn’t get. She was right. I didn’t understand why the laugh track played when Ross forcibly won’t let his toddler son play with a … [Read more...]
3 Steps Toward Good Sex Beyond the Binary: Having Sex with a Nonbinary Person, Even When that Person is You
What is gender? Gender is a spectrum, which means that between and outside of the constructs of male and female, there exists an entire range of gender identities. We often speak of “transgender” and “cisgender” identities: “cisgender” indicating that one’s gender matches the gender they were assigned at birth, and “transgender” indicating that one’s gender does … [Read more...]
When the Gender Binary Puts A Damper on Date Night
I am a cis queer femme woman partnered with a non-binary queer person. While I enjoy so many things about our five-year relationship, including the fact that people recognize me as queer when we are out together, my babe is basically misgendered wherever they go. Even by other queer people. It’s rare for them to have a validating experience when it comes to gender, especially … [Read more...]
8 Ways Non-Binary People Rock!
Those of us who have genders that leap ecstatically out of the gender binary are stellar beings that disrupt, re-define, and challenge traditional conceptions of gender identity and expression, and there are just about as many ways to express and live a non-binary gender identity as there are stars in the sky. Let's explore some of the ways that non-binary people push … [Read more...]
What It Means To Be MultiGender: The Questions Many Have, But Are Afraid To Ask
There is an infinite diversity of genders in the world. Each person has a totally unique interpretation and relationship with any gender they inhabit. There are at least as many genders as there have been humans who have lived. I say “at least” because as it turns out, a person can embody more than one gender in their lifetime. They can even embody more than one gender at … [Read more...]
I’m a Non-Binary Feminist: How I Negotiate My Gender & Politics in the Workplace and Beyond
Transitioning Grief What does it mean to be a feminist ally? And, for me, what does it mean to be a feminist ally who was assigned-male-at-birth (amab), raised and socialized as a man for most of my life, but who now identifies as a non-binary transfemme? I began questioning my gender identity when I was 28 years old, and “came-out” when I was 30. Transitioning is a … [Read more...]
Is Healthy Masculinity a Lost Cause?: A Non-binary Person’s Thoughts on New Masculinity
Toxic masculinity is the subject of much discussion in our radical self-love community. Fashioning a new masculinity that counters and dismantles its toxic counterpart is an essential element in our our fight against cis-hetero-patriarchy. We’re making great strides by having these discussions, and as masculine people, by seeking to embrace accountability. We’re posing many … [Read more...]
My Journey to Eating Disorder Treatment as Neither a Man or Woman
For the past many years, I have struggled with an eating disorder. Searching for a therapist, I have called several locations. Each time, they assumed, because of my voice that I was a man and would want to be a part of their men’s services. When I corrected and explained that I am not a man, they assumed I was a woman and would want treatment with other women. My options … [Read more...]
