I've been thinking a lot lately about the polarized extremes that show up in our public discourse. It's nearly impossible to find a comment thread on the Internet in which people do not feel compelled to take only one position on an issue and to reject any contradiction, any paradox, any additional truths that might illuminate the issue in a more complex way. Perhaps we humans … [Read more...]
Hugs Not Required: Respecting Children’s Bodies and Boundaries
The Body is Not an Apology promotes radical self love and body empowerment. If we are to truly advocate for these values, then we need to not only do this work for ourselves as adults, but do it for children as well. We adults struggle with these issues mainly because of the culture we were raised in and how the adults in our childhood treated us. Knowing this, I believe we … [Read more...]
All That I Did Not Know: Supporting My Transgender Kid
In 2012, my kid West came out as genderqueer and now identifies as non-binary. Although assigned a gender of female at birth, West does not fit inside binary gender categories and uses the pronouns they, their, and them. For West, gender is fluid; sometimes, they move between male and female, and at other times, they are outside the binary altogether. My reactions to West … [Read more...]
Political Parenting: 5 Lessons Resisting the Trump Administration Taught Me and My Kids
I’m walking my daughter home from the bus stop and she’s chattering about the elections. I’m glad she’s learning about it at school but I listen closely, ready to pounce on any propaganda. While our town is pretty liberal, I’m not so sure about my children’s teachers. Suddenly my child asks, “Do you think my teacher is voting for Trump?” I wish I could say no but I honestly … [Read more...]
I Don’t Owe You Beauty: On Rooting Out Internalized Oppression and Celebrating Our Radically Non-Conforming Selves
“It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful. I’m not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.” ~Warsan Shire As an aspiring poet, the words of Warsan Shire hold a special sway over me. It’s not only her eloquence that draws me to her writing, but also the depth of her wisdom. I’ve always felt that it’s not enough … [Read more...]
9 Common Mistakes Parents Make About Their Kid’s Weight
When I see someone teaching kids to hate their bodies, I’m mad. I’ve spent the bulk of my career as a therapist helping adults to let go of body shame, and I know that the roots of this dissatisfaction often starts during childhood. A recent study of 111 girls revealed that by age 5, 50% of these kids had internalized the thin ideal. Many of my clients have spent … [Read more...]
How Do We Create Consent Culture With Our Children?
As many cis het white women know right now, it is a time for us to learn everything we have been doing wrong and make amends. But whilst many claim to love learning, discussions of race are hampered because it means confronting our own failings and actively choosing to be vulnerable to the rage of those we have unwittingly oppressed or abused, even if our crime has 'simply' … [Read more...]
6 Ways NOT To Nurture Neurodivergent Kids
Neurodivergence is something we all are learning and understanding more about all the time – both those of us who are neurodivergent ourselves, and the parents, teachers, caregivers, and advocates who (hopefully) are working to support and help us. Because the terminology and the understanding of how we tick (and in my case, tic) are always changing, I get that it can be hard … [Read more...]
7 Self-Care Tips for Parents of Young Kids
This article was originally published on Ravishly.com and is republished with permission. Feeling guilty won’t help your kids, but it sure will fuck you up. It started when my wife saw an old Facebook post of hers, one which equated sleeping in with self-care, saying something to the effect of, “wow sleeping 12 hours was exactly what I needed!” It was 5 … [Read more...]
7 Things You Learn Raising Kids in an Open Relationship
"Have you thought about how a polyamorous relationship works with kids?" my colleague asked as I suppressed a smile. I've written a book about it, I was tempted to say. Do they sense any instability? I've spent hours at a time analysing their actions and reactions. Are they at more risk from bullying due to the unconventional nature of their parents' relationship? We've … [Read more...]
An Updated Birth Announcement, 22 Years Later for My Transgender Kid
In August of 1992, when I was five months pregnant, I went in for my sonogram and asked to be told the gender of my baby. The technician looked at the image and said, "It's a girl!" [Image description: The photograph shows a sonogram image of a baby at five months' gestation. The image is blurry, in black and white, and in a triangular shape against a black background … [Read more...]
