I was 11 when I learnt all about stretch marks. That they mean you are fat, and these marks will be there for everyone to know you are a fat person. My mum was looking at the marks on my arms, quite worried about some sort of strange rash I might have. At school I showed my "strange" marks to a friend. She calmly told me that they're just stretch marks, something you get if … [Read more...]
How I Survived a Spanking Household
Content note: This article contains descriptions of domestic violence and traumatic assault. When my ex-spouse and I were dating, we had the the usual getting-to-know-each-other talks — with a deeper dimension, since we had known each other as kids and had reconnected as adults. As we delved deeply into our personal histories, each providing individual perspectives on our … [Read more...]
Desentramar las capas: Sobrevivir al abuso emocional infantil
Advertencia de contenido: Este artículo utiliza el termino incesto emocional, discute el abuso emocional infantil y las relaciones parentales nocivas. La primera vez que mi terapeuta mencionó el termino incesto emocional me agarró desprevenida. El termino en si genera una reacción de rechazo inmenso. Me anotó la información de un libro para que lo buscara cuando estuviese … [Read more...]
First and Foremost A Person: Finding Yourself Again As A Single Mother
Loving myself as a single parent has been a topic that has been on my mind for some time. I’m quite sure that there are many other single mothers who feel as I do, but who don’t feel comfortable articulating how they feel for fear they will be judged. How dare a single mother, who is supposed to be self-sacrificing, feel that at some point in her life she should come first? … [Read more...]
Healing the Wounds of Growing Up in a Fat-Shaming Family
In the immortal words of Brianna in the classic film Bring It On: All or Nothing, "I've always had a big ass. It runs in my family. We're a big-assed family." My family never used to do “thin” well. My father hovered between “normal” and “more to love,” my mother had a substantially emphasised hourglass shape, and both of my younger brothers were noticeably chubby. As for me? … [Read more...]
How My Mother Taught Me The Magic of Loving My Little Person Reflection
Dear Mom, On November 17, 2005 you passed away. You were the only little person in your family, one of nine children eight of which had the Cecil trademark of red hair, green eyes and freckles. You had me at 24, and I came out the same way. I must admit, I never thought about what a miracle that was until 35 years later, I had my own daughter, Kaya Rose. No red hair, no green … [Read more...]
Inter-Generational Trauma: Indigenous Resilience in the Face of Abuse
This article was originally published on Residential School Magazine under its original title "Let Me Tell You About Inter-Generational Trauma" and is republished with permission. **Content note: this article contains discussions of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and violence as well as suicide.** My grandmother was placed in residential school at the age of 6. For … [Read more...]
Por favor, no sexualices a mi hija: Aprendiendo el equilibrio entre libertad y ser “buenos” padres
Cuando mi hija, P, empezó a ir a una pequeña “unschool” (*no existe este término en español, adjunto link para saber más de este movimiento), no solo descubrió una educación alegre, sino también la alegría de un pelo pintado. Los unschoolers creen que los niños aprenden mejor cuando escogen lo que aprenden y cómo aprenden dichas lecciones. No fue una sorpresa encontrar niños a … [Read more...]
10 Ways to Raise Radically Sex-Positive Kids
One of my key jobs as a parent is to raise kids who love themselves and their sexuality. My own childhood was filled with silences and horrible caveats about sex. My mother told me repeatedly that she would ‘snap my spine’ if I had sex outside of monogamous marriage. And that sex ‘was not all that it what was cracked up to be.’ The only other ‘education’ I … [Read more...]
3 Problems With Talking to White Kids About Trump
Since Donald Trump was elected president of the United States, there have been tons of articles about talking to your kids about a Donald Trump presidency. As parents this is a hard thing to talk about – I get it. I was originally going to write one of these articles myself, but anxiety and other things have kept me unable to write anything until today. But as I read through … [Read more...]
Blood is Thicker than Water?: 9 Ways to Save Yourself From Your Parents
“Wait—your parents are still married?” The therapist stared at me, his mouth agape. “To each other?!” I nodded warily at this abrupt shift in the tone of our conversation. I was 24 years old and still new to the mechanics of therapy. Just moments before, this man—himself old enough to be my father—had been explaining how all families, loving or otherwise, could be a … [Read more...]
Intersectional Feminism: 5 Ways West Indian Women Reinforce Patriarchy
This article was originally published on West Indian Critic and is republished with permission. One of the aspects of weaving intersectional feminism into your life as a Caribbean woman involves a lengthy process of unlearning the damaging ideas and beliefs thrust upon you by Caribbean society. Even if I once had a West Indian teacher wrongfully assert that the Caribbean … [Read more...]
5 Ways to Help Kids Think Outside the Gender Binary
When I was in middle school, I would ask my mom if I could watch certain TV shows other kids were watching: FRIENDS, Scrubs, etc. She said sure (she’s pretty chill about stuff like that), but she told me there were a lot of jokes I wouldn’t get. She was right. I didn’t understand why the laugh track played when Ross forcibly won’t let his toddler son play with a … [Read more...]
10 Ways to Support Sex-Positive Kids
One of my key jobs as a parent is to raise kids who love themselves and their sexuality. My own childhood was filled with silences and horrible caveats about sex. My mother told me repeatedly that she would ‘snap my spine’ if I had sex outside of monogamous marriage. And that sex ‘was not all that it what was cracked up to be.’ (A lot of violent cracking … [Read more...]
