It’s Okay To Forgive, or Not: Grieving When You’re Estranged From Your Family December 2, 2019 by Elliot Kukla Leave a Comment Not long ago, I sat with a sweet little old man who was dying. (This is a regular occurrence for me; I’m a rabbi who works in hospice.) The man’s one dying wish was simple: to speak to his teenage granddaughter on the phone in Australia before he died. His selfish daughter was too “bitter” about the past to allow this to happen, he said. His request seemed so reasonable, his … [Read more...]
5 Ways to Help Kids Think Outside the Gender Binary November 20, 2019 by Maya Gittelman Leave a Comment When I was in middle school, I would ask my mom if I could watch certain TV shows other kids were watching: FRIENDS, Scrubs, and so on. She said sure (she’s pretty chill about stuff like that), but she told me there were a lot of jokes I wouldn’t get. She was right. I didn’t understand why the laugh track played when Ross forcibly wouldn’t let his toddler son play with a … [Read more...]
4 Ridiculous Questions People Asked Me When My 11 Year-Old Came Out as Gay November 9, 2019 by Katie Tastrom Leave a Comment When my son was 11, he came out to me and my husband as gay. Or as he initially put it, “I think I am finally ready to realize something about myself.” (He’s smart and hilarious). My husband and I are both queer (more on that later), so he knew we wouldn't have a negative reaction. We did go out to dinner to celebrate his “realization," but it was largely a non-event. I'm … [Read more...]
7 Things My Loved Ones Got Right When I Came Out as Non-Binary September 28, 2019 by West Anderson Leave a Comment I didn't have the perfect experience coming out as transgender and non-binary. Many friends and acquaintances weren't able to change their perception of me and didn't understand the new terms I was using to describe myself. As I meet new people and make new friends, I still struggle daily with coming out. But I was lucky that there were a lot of things my loved ones did right … [Read more...]
7 Things I Teach My Kids About Consent, Sexual Harassment, and Assault September 24, 2019 by Louisa Leontiades Leave a Comment During a crowded bus journey, my daughter's shrill four-year-old voice piped up clearly and succinctly above the hum of the ongoing conversation: "I want to have sex with [insert classmate here]." A silence, not unlike the one pervading the moment before the conductor raises his baton, fell in anticipation of my reply. And on behalf of all the sex-positive parents, I swallowed … [Read more...]
8 Lessons That Show How Emotional Labor Defines Women’s Lives September 18, 2019 by Kai Cheng Thom, Guest Writer 4 Comments Content note: This article contains a description of incestuous childhood sexual abuse. The article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. “I want to say: we come from difference, Jonas, You have been taught to grow out, I have been taught to grow in.” – Lily Myers, “Shrinking Women” It’s an early spring evening in Montreal, and … [Read more...]
How Being “Selfless” Taught Me Unhealthy Codependency September 4, 2019 by Michal MJ Jones 1 Comment It was clear from when was a very young child -- and my mother might argue earlier -- that I was a deeply sensitive, emotionally intelligent being. My ma has told me about each of her children after childbirth: “With each of you, I looked at both of you and saw these big, soulful eyes that seemed so old and wise.” This natural-born tenderness was nurtured and tended to … [Read more...]
This Is What It’s Like To Battle an Eating Disorder as a Trans Person August 24, 2019 by Teo Schlögl, Guest Writer and Cory MacKenzie, Guest Writer Leave a Comment Content Note: The following article is written by two authors in separate vignettes exploring their individual narratives. Please know that if you are struggling with an eating disorder, there is help. In the US, dial the toll-free, confidential National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. You are not alone. by Teo Schlögl: I am a white non-binary trans … [Read more...]
3 Ways My Parents Unintentionally Taught Me My Consent Didn’t Matter July 24, 2019 by Anonymous Leave a Comment I’m writing this piece anonymously because my mother frequently Googles me – types my name into a search bar to find all I’ve been up to splashed across her screen. I think she does this just so she can send my articles to her coworkers to show them how proud of me she is. I’m writing this anonymously because sometimes, in an article, I’ll reference something she said to me, … [Read more...]
Are My Stretch Marks Worthy?: My Journey to Radical Self-Love June 26, 2019 by Claire Crescent Leave a Comment I was 11 when I learnt all about stretch marks. That they mean you are fat, and these marks will be there for everyone to know you are a fat person. My mum was looking at the marks on my arms, quite worried about some sort of strange rash I might have. At school I showed my "strange" marks to a friend. She calmly told me that they're just stretch marks, something you get if … [Read more...]
How I Survived a Spanking Household June 25, 2019 by Joli St. Patrick 2 Comments Content note: This article contains descriptions of domestic violence and traumatic assault. When my ex-spouse and I were dating, we had the the usual getting-to-know-each-other talks — with a deeper dimension, since we had known each other as kids and had reconnected as adults. As we delved deeply into our personal histories, each providing individual perspectives on our … [Read more...]
Desentramar las capas: Sobrevivir al abuso emocional infantil June 23, 2019 by Emanuel Urrea and Mary Robinson Leave a Comment Advertencia de contenido: Este artículo utiliza el termino incesto emocional, discute el abuso emocional infantil y las relaciones parentales nocivas. La primera vez que mi terapeuta mencionó el termino incesto emocional me agarró desprevenida. El termino en si genera una reacción de rechazo inmenso. Me anotó la información de un libro para que lo buscara cuando estuviese … [Read more...]
First and Foremost a Person: Finding Yourself Again as a Single Mother June 18, 2019 by Awilda González Leave a Comment Loving myself as a single parent has been a topic that has been on my mind for some time. I’m quite sure that there are many other single mothers who feel as I do, but who don’t feel comfortable articulating how they feel for fear they will be judged. How dare a single mother, who is supposed to be self-sacrificing, feel that at some point in her life she should come first? … [Read more...]
Healing the Wounds of Growing Up in a Fat-Shaming Family May 27, 2019 by Gillian Brown 7 Comments In the immortal words of Brianna in the classic film Bring It On: All or Nothing, "I've always had a big ass. It runs in my family. We're a big-assed family." My family never used to do “thin” well. My father hovered between “normal” and “more to love,” my mother had a substantially emphasised hourglass shape, and both of my younger brothers were noticeably chubby. As for me? … [Read more...]
How My Mother Taught Me the Magic of Loving My Little Person Reflection May 13, 2019 by Rebecca Cokley, Guest Author Leave a Comment Dear Mom, On November 17, 2005 you passed away. You were the only little person in your family, one of nine children eight of which had the Cecil trademark of red hair, green eyes and freckles. You had me at 24, and I came out the same way. I must admit, I never thought about what a miracle that was until 35 years later, I had my own daughter, Kaya Rose. No red hair, no green … [Read more...]
Intergenerational Trauma: Indigenous Resilience in the Face of Abuse May 4, 2019 by Mary Black Leave a Comment This article was originally published on Residential School Magazine under its original title "Let Me Tell You About Inter-Generational Trauma" and is republished with permission. **Content note: this article contains discussions of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and violence as well as suicide.** My grandmother was placed in residential school at the age of 6. For … [Read more...]
