It’s hard for me to write the story about being in an abusive relationship. Not because it’s hard for me to talk about it, though sometimes it is. Not because I’m still carrying shame and self-doubt or because I might trigger my own trauma responses, though I am and I might. It’s because writing about being a male survivor of intimate partner abuse, especially when your abuser … [Read more...]
6 Ways My Parents Unintentionally Taught Me Disordered Eating
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. Content Note: This article contains discussion of eating disorders, including descriptions of restriction practices and family diets. There’s only one time in my life I ever remember seeing my dad cry. It wasn’t at his mother’s funeral or his father’s, though I knew he was sad … [Read more...]
“Buen chico”: Identificando una “nueva” masculinidad
La imagen social de que los chicos buenos acaban últimos o los chicos buenos nunca se llevan a la chica ha existido durante décadas, sobre todo en las películas de los ochenta. En esas películas, el “chico bueno” es a menudo tímido y/o empollón y/o gordito (blanco) quien promete tratar a la chica de la que va detrás mejor que el “idiota” con el que actualmente sale —con poca o … [Read more...]
5 Ways to Help Kids Think Outside the Gender Binary
When I was in middle school, I would ask my mom if I could watch certain TV shows other kids were watching: FRIENDS, Scrubs, and so on. She said sure (she’s pretty chill about stuff like that), but she told me there were a lot of jokes I wouldn’t get. She was right. I didn’t understand why the laugh track played when Ross forcibly wouldn’t let his toddler son play with a … [Read more...]
25 Ways I Was Granted White Male Privilege After I Transitioned – And Why ALL Men Must Speak Up Against Sexism
This article originally appeared on Everyday Feminism under the title "These 25 Examples of Male Privilege from a Trans Guy's Perspective Really Prove the Point" and is reprinted by permission. Quite a bit changed for me over the first couple of years I started testosterone. My health and mental well-being improved, my "happy button" grew over an inch in length, my natural musk … [Read more...]
5 Common Behaviors Cis Men May Not Realize Are Abusive (And How To Stop Them)
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminsim.com and is republished with permission. I recently attended a presentation by Tony Porter, founder of A Call to Men. After watching his TED Talk, I was incredibly excited to see him speak because of how he demands of men that we consider the ways that all of us can act in abusive and violent ways. Seeing him in person, … [Read more...]
7 Reasons Why Patriarchy Is Bad (And Feminism Is Good) for Men
No matter where you look in the multiple facets of our country’s culture and our current events, male dominance can be, well, quite dominant and overbearing. Patriarchy—which is the conceptualization of how men, especially cis men, and masculinity are seen as better than, are more respected than, and hold more privileges than women and nonbinary people or femininity—permeates … [Read more...]
Beware These 10 Types of Feminist Men
This article was originally published on EverydayFeminism.com and is republished with permission. Never is a man so potentially dangerous to a female-read person as when he claims to be a feminist. But this is not an opinion that will endear you to many feminists, even other women. “How can you alienate your own allies?” they say. “How perfect do you really expect them to … [Read more...]
How Can We Make Our Everyday Language More Gender-Inclusive?
The titles we so commonly use to address our loved ones all refer to binary gender identities. The words “brother”, “sister”, “dad”, “mother”, “aunt”, “uncle", "boyfriend", and "girlfriend" all assume a person is either a man or a woman. But what about those folks who identify as non-binary, agender, or Two-Spirit? Or folks who are gender non-conforming, gender-neutral, or are … [Read more...]
Listening to Mother Earth’s Voice: An Indigenous Female Perspective on Sexual and Ecological Violence
Editor's Note: This article was originally published by Princess Daazhraii Johnson under the title "What's Missing From #MeToo and #TimesUp: One Indigenous Woman's Perspective" and is republished with permission. As I have watched the national dialogue unfold around sexual harassment and sexual violence, I can’t help but take notice of the lack of tie in to a much larger … [Read more...]
Hair Apparent: Being Brown, Femme, and Loving My Body Hair
There is a tumbr post making the rounds on my dash. The first picture in the series is of an Iranian princess Zahra Khanom Tadj es-Saltaneh from the Qajar dynasty. The legend goes - she was considered so beautiful that about a dozen or so men died after she rejected them. The photograph stands in stark contrast to the usual “exotic” representation of Middle astern princesses … [Read more...]
Me Versus She: Why I Won’t Compete With Other Women (And neither Should You!)
At the start of this year I made a pledge in support of furthering self love. I will not treat other women as competition. In a business like mines where it isn’t uncommon for amazing writers to never get the attention they deserve, scarcity is a problem. Right out of college I was expected to compete for publication with everyone from life-long friends to respected mentors and … [Read more...]
5 Ways West Indian Women Reinforce Patriarchy
This article was originally published on West Indian Critic and is republished with permission. One of the aspects of weaving intersectional feminism into your life as a Caribbean woman involves a lengthy process of unlearning the damaging ideas and beliefs thrust upon you by Caribbean society. Even if I once had a West Indian teacher wrongfully assert that the Caribbean is … [Read more...]
Asian Eyes: Westernized Beauty Standards and Asian Identity
When I set forth to write something on Westernized beauty standards and Asian identity, my ideas kept circling back to the one topic I was the most hesitant to write about. For myriads of reasons, that topic is a complex issue. It has defined my life in deep-rooted ways. It has a multifaceted history in the world, as well as in my own life. It has always been my greatest source … [Read more...]
