This piece was originally published by EverydayFeminism.com under the title "6 Questions to Ask If You Have More Privilege Than Your Partner" and is republished with permission. Content note: This article briefly alludes to suicidal ideation and eating disorders. I learned to be a girlfriend through ’90s American rom-coms. 90% of the time, I learned, I had to be … [Read more...]
Sorry Not Sorry: Why I’m Over Playing the Role of “Sweetheart”
When I was a little girl, I was always the bossy friend. I would be the one to dictate the games we played and who played what role. When I was in middle school, I was the easy one. I wanted to be accepted by anyone and everyone, so I submitted. In my early years of high school, I was always the bitch. I didn't value people who talked to me as though I were less than human, … [Read more...]
3 Ways Autistic Adults Experience Domestic Abuse — And 3 Ways To Stop It
This article was originally published on The Establishment under the title "We Need To Talk About the Domestic Abuse of Autistic Adults" and is republished with permission. Content Warning: This article references sexual abuse. It didn’t take long for me to identify a sweeping problem that no one is talking about. After much confusion, anguish, flashbacks, self-blame, and … [Read more...]
3 Reasons We Need To Be Critical of Compulsory Sex Positivity in Queer Spaces
Sex positivity often acts as an implicit — or sometimes explicit — foundation of leftist, feminist, and LGBTQ+ spaces for completely valid reasons. As women and queers, sex has been the driving force behind both our oppression and the spaces we create to separate, heal, and liberate us from our oppression. Sexualized spaces for socializing predate our modern understanding of … [Read more...]
Too “Politically Correct”?: Why It Matters for Comedy To Punch Up Instead of Down
For a large portion of my childhood, I believed that the Spanish were incapable fools, the Germans were evil dogmatists, and the French were bumbling, puffed-up nincompoops. Given these attitudes, it can come as little surprise that I'm English and grew up with comedy that relentlessly mocked foreigners, the upper classes, the lower classes, the disabled, the neuroatypical, the … [Read more...]
#CloseTheCamps: No 4th of July While Children Die
On July 2nd, I participated in a #CloseTheCamps rally demanding that the illegal concentration camps for undocumented children and their families -- with 71% of migrants being held in for-profit facilities as of November 2017 -- be shut down. I stood on the sidewalk of a local park with about 60 other protesters as we held signs and rattled noisemakers, chanting and begging our … [Read more...]
Abuse Happens Everywhere: 8 Questions To Ask About Respecting BDSM Boundaries
I came of age during a moment when lesbian feminist culture was booming -– music festivals, women’s bookstores and lesbian feminist political projects were cropping up everywhere. And one of the most damaging and fallacious assumptions of that era was that women were inherently non-violent, that lesbian relationships offered a haven from abuse, that simply because our … [Read more...]
We All Mess Up: 6 Compassionate Ways To Hold Each Other Accountable
This article was originally published on Medium under the title "How Do We Hold Each Other Accountable When We Mess Up?" and is republished with permission. It’s hard work being accountable. It’s even harder holding others accountable. As someone who has been on all sides of accountability: asking for help to stop harm I’m experiencing, needing to be held accountable for harm … [Read more...]
7 Ways Social Justice Language Can Become Abusive in Intimate Relationships
This article originally appeared in EverydayFeminism.com and is reprinted by permission. "It’s that bone gnawed moment when you realize ‘The Community’ will do nothing to stop him from showing up at your backdoor in the middle of the night with the rifle he bought for the revolution” —Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, “so what the fuck does consciousness mean anyway” There … [Read more...]
Take The Cake: Dear Fat Girl, Do You Know How Powerful You Are?
This article by Virgie Tovar originally appeared on Ravishly and has been republished with permission. A question that has been haunting me for well over a month now is one that was posed to me by an ultra cute, very smart fat girl. She asked me how I learned to give up on the dream of being a desirable, beautiful, sexy thin person. Her question seemed to unveil a worldview … [Read more...]
