Content note: This article contains discussions of rape and physical, childhood, and sexual abuse. In 2016, on a radical feminist Facebook page for survivors of abuse, someone posted the question, “Do you identity as a victim or survivor?” As the thread progressed over the following weeks, people provided very heartfelt and nuanced responses. The discussion came up at a time … [Read more...]
Lucky To Be Alive?: The Ways We Tell Disabled People They Shouldn’t Be Here
This article originally appeared on the blog a true testimony under the title "Lucky to be alive" and is reprinted by permission. Content note: This article contains references to suicide and sexual abuse. A stranger said to me, “Go kill yourself.” Does he know I am four times more likely to do that because of my epilepsy? That my bipolar and PTSD and history of sexual … [Read more...]
4 Tools I Use To Replace Self-Harm with Radical Self-Love
Content note: This article contains in-depth descriptions of self-harm and discussions of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. The first time I saw the film American Beauty, one scene stood out to me. Annette Bening stood in the living room of a home she was trying to sell. She assertively closed the vertical blinds, turned around, and started to cry. She then slapped her … [Read more...]
Trauma, Body Memories, and How To Heal Them
Your body, believe it or not, remembers everything. Sounds, smells, touches, tastes. But the memory is not held in your mind, locked somewhere in the recesses of your brain. Instead, it’s held in your body, all the way down at the cellular level. Ever notice how, on a stage full of professional dancers, everyone still moves in their own way? That’s because our cells store … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Manage PTSD When It Feels Like PTSD Is Managing You
One of the greatest challenges in living with PTSD is the feeling that most days it’s deciding what I can do and when and how. There are days when I can balance caring for my emotional wellbeing with taking action to create positive change in the world. But most days, even though I want to fight for social justice, I really don’t want to leave my bedroom. Or even if I want to, … [Read more...]
How I Learned My Abusive Father Is Not a Monster — Just a Rather Sad and Complicated Person
I've always been comically atrocious at mini-golf, and at other sports that require finesse in hand-eye coordination and the action of aiming a ball into a hole, hoop, or goal. Captain J's Mini-Golf Course is a particularly malicious 18-hole booby trap perched on the tip of Lake Superior, and is where I have some of the best memories of my father. Us laughing as I sink my fifth … [Read more...]
Navigating Mother’s Day When You Don’t Have a Mother
Mother’s Day was originally created in the 1850s by Ann Reeves Jarvis. She wanted to bring special attention to issues around sanitation in cities, in effort to decrease infant mortality. After the Civil War, she campaigned to expand the day as a call for action for mothers to take a more active political role to end war and bring about peace. In 1908, after the death of her … [Read more...]

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